The closest person is the closest, safest and most stable person with us. It is worth our life to manage and care, depending on whether you can manage. It is comfortable and reliable to get along forever. It is a true "family" or "friendship" and it is worth remembering.
If there is love, there will be hate, and if there is love, there will be barriers. These are all causal, and they will all be processed and modified. Hate will turn into love, and it is difficult to take root and sprout.
The closer I am to you, the higher my requirements, the greater my expectations, the more I care about, and the greater my harm. This is the truth of the world. I cried, thought and laughed, and my family relationship remained the same.
My friend Xiaoman told us his own story: Xiaoman's brother had a sum of money in his hand a few years after graduating from college, so he opened a processing factory and became his own boss. At that time, he didn't find anyone to take care of the money, so he called his sister who worked in Beijing and asked him to help with the financial work. Xiaoman, who has not received professional training, bought accounting study materials for his brother and his company and taught himself accounting professional knowledge.
Then officially take over the financial work. In the first year, Xiaoman said that his brother could tolerate and tolerate some small mistakes he made at work. As time goes by, the "mistakes" he made in his work are no longer tolerated like that, and his demands on her are getting higher and higher. He was criticized for not doing well and was told several times that he had no energy to do it. Looking back, he felt that it was his own fault, not his own ability, and he was sad and sad.
Afterwards, my brother patiently explained to her, "Give you a chance to exercise, you can't do it well. I am strict with my own people and have high expectations. My own people should be better than others. "
Expectations and requirements are higher, but their starting point has not changed. Because they are our own people, they have low requirements for themselves and a very low starting point. Naturally, they lag behind others and their expectations become disappointed. It is inevitable that they will "hate iron and not produce steel", and the rest are cursing, complaining and complaining, which will hurt their words and even cause psychological harm.
Small man speechless, the in the mind again injustice, still have to continue. Xiaoman finally understood that the closer people are, the higher their demands and expectations are, and only after their own personal experience can they know this truth.
Li Juan and Li Na are sisters, and they often like to quarrel. When you talk about the East and she talks about the West, they always argue and disagree. If they are not careful, they will get hurt.
For a very simple example, Li Juan said that a "cow trip" (something made of wood around a cow's neck) can roll. Sister knows that what she said is ridiculous, so can things that are bent be rolled? The two men quarreled endlessly and didn't talk for several days. You ignore me, and I ignore you. In many small things in life, there will be disputes, different ideas, different views, fights and quarrels, unhappiness, disheartening, and finally silence, laziness to speak, hurting feelings, anger, sadness and self-blame. What is the reason?
This is because of "closeness" and "familiarity". People who hurt themselves need no cost, no worries, no excessive thoughts, and do not consider the feelings of the other party. If they are others, they need to consider what they should say and whether others can accept it. These are the reasons for the "controversy".
The closer I get, the more I care about you, the more I like to argue with you, and the more I hurt you.
Because I am close, I care about you. When Li Na saw Li Juan lying in a hospital bed, she felt very distressed, and her brow was anxious to suffer for her sister. That's the reason.
When people get along with each other, they should always know how to keep their distance. If they get too close, it will become a disaster, which will affect each other's communication, hurt each other's feelings and make each other inseparable for life.
Ordinary people get along like this, especially "close" people.
Remember, never go too close, too close is a disaster.
Everyone has their own "bottom line" to get along with. Like a hedgehog, it protects itself with thorns all over its body. When in danger, he will not hesitate to erect thorns all over his body to protect his own safety, avoid disasters and achieve the purpose of escape.
People, too, like hedgehogs, should know how to protect themselves with their own thorns at critical dangerous moments. If you say something or do something that goes beyond his "bottom line", then your closest people will "deny their loved ones" and in turn will "severely" fight back and challenge you. "Sharp words" will definitely make you experience "his power". If you are angry, you have endured it for a long time. Can you stand it? Only you can understand, only you can taste. The injury of "heartbreaking" deeply hurt the two closest people. The next time is for both sides to bear silently, digest silently and heal their scars silently.
After the calm, some "closest people" will change their way of doing things, understand the truth that "distance produces beauty" and get along more and more comfortably; The "closest people" who don't know that "distance produces beauty" are afraid of exposing "scars" again, but "stay away from you" and "isolate themselves". Over time, love produces hatred, alienation and even no contact, which is not good. On the contrary, we should know how to "cherish". A person's life can last for decades, and time flies.
Besides parents, brothers and sisters, lovers and closest friends, a "bosom friend" is also your closest friend. Often when you are upset and unhappy, the first person you will think of may be your "confidant", and the object you want to share your "pimple" or "happiest thing" is your "confidant" to dispel your doubts. This desire is even better than your parents, brothers and sisters. You can open your heart and confide your worries and thoughts to your "confidant" without reservation, so as to achieve "confidence"
Nan and Xiaoqing are good colleagues, friends and confidants. Their friendship lasted for more than 20 years. They are the same as their close relatives except that they are not related by blood. They know how to share happiness and pain at any time, and they are very rare "friends in need".
More than 20 years ago, Nan was a businessman and Xiaoqing was a kind girl. She works in the same company and gets along well with each other. The common ideal enabled them to establish a profound friendship. They got wind of each other and were valued by the company. Nan had an accident at work and was hospitalized from beginning to end, taking care of Xiaoqing and her sisters. Nan later started a company of her own, and both of them got married. Xiaoqing's marriage is not good. When there are contradictions, she will complain to Nan, who will help her analyze and explain them until there is no resentment in her heart and her doubts are lifted. Until now, if Nan has problems in the company, Xiaoqing will treat Nan as his younger brother and try her best to help him.
Both of them regard each other as the most important person in their lives. Whenever they encounter a difficult problem, they will join hands to solve it. They are really friends in need and the best "confidants". People who know them are envious, because "bosom friends" are hard to find, and they may never meet anyone who knows them. The closer they get, the more they like to share with you, and the more they care about your joys and sorrows.
Sometimes when Nan is chatting, when talking about Xiaoqing, it is inevitable to say "You know me, Xiaoqing also". It can be seen that "bosom friend" is a noble person in one's life and also a "fate" in one's life, which should be cherished.
However, once you lose your "friendship", you will turn against each other. The deeper you love, the more you are hurt. You must take good care of it, so that you can keep fresh as long as marriage and experience the joy and sweetness brought by "friendship".
People often say: "The higher you lift, the heavier you fall". The same is true of love and marriage, which also applies to lovers. "The closer you get, the deeper you love, the more you get hurt, and the harder it is to get rid of the harm of marriage.
Look at the feelings of people who have experienced love and been hurt by love. First lady:
The second lady:
The two ladies, whether through experience or introspection after emotional injury, were hurt all over.
Because of love, because of understanding, because of familiarity, I know her weaknesses, seize her weaknesses, and know her pain points; The closer you get, the more you poke the pain point and poke the key; The deeper you love, the more you get hurt, just like a sword, stabbing you in the heart.
Love one, hurt one, hate one.
I paid the price of love and tasted the pain of gouging out my heart. People who love most are often hurt more and more, and it is difficult to get rid of the harm of marriage.
For people who are happily married, you should know how to cherish that love and cherish each other's fate. Mutual tolerance and understanding in life are the long-term happiness of your marriage and avoid emotional harm.
For close people, they are nothing more than parents, brothers and sisters, confidants and lovers. The closer you get, the more you love and the deeper you hurt.
To understand this truth, because "closeness", the higher the requirements for you, the higher the expectations; Because the closer I am, the more I care about you, the more I like to argue with you. The closer I get, the more I like to share with you, and the more I care about your emotions.
Because you are "close", you should know how to "keep your distance" from each other, and don't get too close. That's a disaster.
People who are "close" sometimes cause great contradictions because of trivial matters. Some of them are on bad terms, and neither of them wants to talk to anyone. Some caused "physical violence" and "fishing for bones" and "reconciled" after several years. In the meantime, they are inevitably hurt. Because they can make sense and are too close in their bones, they will give up their "personal grievances" and let nature take its course.
Therefore, the closer you are, the deeper it hurts you. People will live a lifetime, just a few decades. Grasp the "degree", enlarge the measurement, forget it, cherish this relationship and cherish the time together, because they are noble people in our lives and people worth cherishing in our lives.