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30 funny quotations
1, I don't need your understanding, I just need you to shut up.

You are calm because you are not afraid of death. I am calmer than you, because I am not afraid of your death.

Take out your complaints and bask in the sun every day, so you won't be short of calcium.

When I was a child, I thought I could save the world when I grew up. When I grow up, I find that the whole world can't save me.

Grandpa is handed down by his grandson.

6. God said there should be light, and I said I opposed it, so there was darkness in the world.

7. Men conquer women by conquering the world! Women conquer the world by conquering men!

8. If you catch people, people will eat you!

9. It takes thousands of years to change from a monkey to a human, and only one bottle of wine is needed to change from a human to a monkey.

10, heroes don't ask for a way out, hooligans don't look at their age!

1 1. God gave us worldly desires, but we turned them into pornography and violence.

12, I am Jesus, his son, Coconut!

13. Buddies who are fearless are afraid of friends like dogs.

14, I came quietly and left quietly, waving a dagger and leaving no one alive.

15, boss, a bowl of tears.

16, no one has stepped on my head since I turned into shit.

17, I only trust two people in the world, one is me and the other is not you.

18, there is no way to go, only by bus!

19, take off your clothes, I am an animal, put on your clothes, I am the devil wears Prada!

20. There is gold under a man's knee. I cut off my whole leg and didn't even find a copper coin!

2 1, teacher, just follow the old woman! It's been a long time, teacher, please spare the old woman!

22, after reading the language of 10 years, it is better to talk about QQ for half a year.

24. When you speak ill of me, can you feel like cooking without embellishing it?

25. When someone pushes you down, no matter how hard and tired you are, stand up and give her a heavy slap.

26. I have a crush on you because I'm out of my mind, and now my brain is shaking dry.

27. I waited a long time to hear from you, and the result was a haha. You think I'm telling a joke.

28, the water is shallow and there are many kings, and there are big men everywhere, not social people, and the whole society is always embarrassed.

29. Does anyone have a crush on me? Don't be shy of those who secretly love me. Say your love.

30. In the past, my love was like a dwarf hanged by a bush.

30 classic funny quotations

1. Are you pure? Then there is no sewer in the world, and it becomes Telunsu.

2. I hope all the money in my pocket loves each other and has more children ~

3. Some people test strength, some people test eyesight, and we test imagination.

4. Cough ~ Say what you should say and whisper what you shouldn't.

I don't puppy love because I tell myself that puppy love is to raise a wife for others.

6. If someone will never lose his temper again, congratulations, you finally lost her.

7. I want to be your heart in the next life, at least I will die if I don't jump.

8. The difference between an angel and a demon: when an old woman falls, an angel will help them; And the devil is often the reason for their fall. .....

9. The only thing I can lift in my life is chopsticks.

10. Life is like shit. If you work hard for a long time, the result is fart.

1 1. This morning in spring, I woke up easily, yawned at home, couldn't sleep at night, and couldn't wake up during the day.

12. Grandma said: Power is out, light candles, and then watch TV.

13. I will not despise e-sports online games because I can't develop in an all-round way.

14. Women don't spend money on their holidays, but men don't like it.

15.-Don't be complacent, only young people know how to play dirty. Don't admit that you are that identity so quickly!

16. Don't wait until everyone says you're ugly before you realize that you're really ugly.

17. It is forbidden to urinate here, and offenders will confiscate tools.

18. What is love in the world? -Buddha said: waste.

19. If one day I become a gangster, please tell them that I am innocent.

20. We are all stupid, but I am playing dumb. You are really stupid.

2 1. Not being a bad guy is a waste of your furtive eyes.

22. As long as you live better than me, I can't stand it.

23. Every time I miss a girl, I put a brick on the ground and the Great Wall! ! ! !

24. Give me a bowl of soup, Meng Po. You give me a fucking bowl of Coca-Cola. . .

25. The best day is nothing more than that you are joking and I am laughing.

26. This woman is fascinated by thousands of troops from behind. Once she turns her face, she will definitely scare off millions of heroes.

27. Don't listen to good words and die in front of me ~ ~ ~

28. The little sunflower mother started class, and the child's cough has been bad, mostly it was abolished!

29. There is nothing to bask in. Maybe if you get a tan, no one will call you an idiot.

30. Don't listen to things outside the window, just read e-books.

30 unreasonable and funny quotations

1, the only reason I am fat is that my body is too small to hold all my personality.

2. Sorry, so what? Think about it, love it and love it.

There is no doubt that I am the poor man in your dream.

Every time I miss a girl, I put a brick on the ground, so there is the Great Wall!

5, everyone will be tired, no one can bear all the sadness for you, people always have to learn to grow up for a period of time.

6. Life is sometimes like a computer. If it collapses, it collapses. It's not negotiable.

7. You are very good-looking. Good-looking people dare not let people look at you.

8. When a man meets a woman, there is only an anniversary, not an independence day.

9. Rich people hold a money field, and those who have no money go home and get some money to hold a money field.

10, the iron cock will leave some rust, you are simply a stainless steel cock.

1 1, I'm not a prince, why do girls always think they should be a princess when they see me!

12, unreasonable, there must be a plan!

13, everyone is original at birth. Sadly, many people have gradually become pirates!

14, the grievances that can be said are not grievances; A lover who can be taken away is not a lover.

15, greetings are not necessarily serious, but they must be sincere and touching.

16, the most contradictory place between lovers is the longing for each other's future, but think about it.

17, if you are God, then the place where I will go in the future is the forbidden area of God.

18, the biggest difference between doing and not doing is that the latter has the right to comment on the former.

19, doing all ordinary things well is extraordinary, and doing all simple things right is not simple.

20. Happiness is a comparative level. You have to have something at the bottom to feel it.

2 1, close your eyes and I see my future.

I don't mind you lying to me. What I care about is that you can't lie to me.

23. When you are pretending to be innocent, my sister is behind you and despises you without pretending!

24. If cigarettes are not obedient, we will smoke.

25, the sea is wide with diving, and the drums are broken.

I drank a bottle of red wine yesterday, and I don't know what I was doing.

27. I don't even want a basin of spilled water.

28. If you are God, then the place where I will go in the future is the forbidden area of God.

29, men smoking and drinking is like a woman shopping is an interest, it is difficult to give up.

30. My mother in the country said that a distant relative is better than a close neighbor. I said that few people in the city know each other.

30 interesting quotations from life

1, a real warrior, dares to face his own face.

2. To be a man, you must be a person who lingers between Niu A and Niu C. ..

3. If the tree is not peeled, it will die; People are shameless and invincible in the world.

Don't be lazy with me, I'm too lazy to compare with you.

5, raw, easy. Live, relax. Life is not easy.

6, life is like toilet paper, nothing, try to pull less!

7, work, take a step back, fall in love, take a step back, people go to the building.

No one has stepped on my head since I turned into shit.

9. Clap your head to make a decision, and clap your chest to make sure to leave.

10, life is the mouth of Song Like Zude, and you never know who will be unlucky next.

1 1. Once you were my world, now all directions have replaced you.

12, every day, I draw a circle on my calendar. It was not until Sunday that I discovered that my life was an ellipsis.

13, your complex facial features can't hide your simple IQ.

14, my god, did you let summer and winter share a room? Give birth to this damn weather!

15, I am your kite, the thread is in your hand, and only wind energy accompanies me.

16, hello, the number you dialed has passed away, please dial again in your next life.

17, my future is not a dream, but a nightmare.

18, there is a fill-in-the-blank question called not at all; There is a multiple-choice question that looks right; There is a writing topic called "I want to cry when I write".

19, the success of a person's life depends on the memorial service.

20. My three idols when I was a child: Lei Feng, Zhang Haidi and Zhang Ga. Reddy Gaga for short.

2 1, forcing death is only an instant, shameless that is eternal!

22. Some people make masks that look much better than real people.

23. I am a civilized person, and all the dirty words have been disinfected with saliva.

24. I want to buy things when I am angry. When I buy things, I have to spend money. When I spend money, my money becomes less. I get angry when I have little money.

25. Time and marriage will make a man mature, but time is a small fire and marriage is a big fire.

26. Raise your head 45 degrees just to keep your nose from staying, and lower your head 45 degrees just to wipe your nose from being seen.

27. I fell in love with you at first sight, and I woke up at the second sight.

28. Women's universities have changed eighteen times and become more and more casual.

29. Lying will always be exposed, and wearing a wig will always be exposed by the wind.

30. I can't find it anywhere, and I still lament that I was a small waist. Idle hate, a suit of pork belly