In the past few days, I have followed more than 20 episodes of "You know, you should be green, fat, red, and thin", and the educational wisdom in it has given me a lot of inspiration. Here are a few excerpts to share my thoughts.

01

Children are what their parents are like.

When Minglan, the sixth girl of the Sheng family, was 6 years old, because her third brother lost her sister’s dowry in a bet and lost the Sheng family’s face, she couldn’t help but come forward to win back the dowry with her special skills. Saved the reputation of the Sheng family.

This is the first time that she has revealed herself.

Minglan was blamed by her mother Wei Xiaoniang.

As a concubine, Wei Xiaoniang is cautious in her words and deeds, and she is tolerant at all times. She often warns Minglan not to be competitive, because this is the only way to survive in the cracks.

Before she died, Wei Xiaoniang’s last words to Minglan were: Remember, learn to be patient and live for the best!

This legacy allowed Minglan to successfully avoid the dangers of overt and covert struggles in the Sheng Mansion, and gained the protection of her grandmother.

Parents who love their children deeply have great wisdom hidden in their bones. They will not covet immediate pleasure and small benefits, but make the most far-reaching plans for their children.

Minglan’s ability to keep a low profile has cleared many obstacles for her future.

Auntie Sheng and Xiaoniang Lin are much more short-sighted in their love for their children.

Under their influence and pampering, the daughter of the eldest queen Wang Ruofu, the fifth girl, Rulan, has the same personality as her mother, domineering and competitive;

Lin Xiaoniang’s The fourth daughter, Mo Lan, inherited her mother's scheming nature and used tricks and tricks everywhere.

The two girls fought openly and secretly over trivial matters all day long, making one joke after another. Minglan, who was always uncontested, became the winner and took charge of the family at a young age.

In the play, Minglan said a very accurate sentence: What kind of person you are, your children will be like that.

02

Parents who spoil their children may appear to love their children, but in fact they love themselves.

Their mentality can basically be summarized into two types:

One is to save trouble;

The other is to make themselves feel good.

First of all, pampering your children is the fastest way to calm down your children's crying and resistance.

As long as the child does not cry or resist, parents can gain temporary peace and save themselves immediate trouble.

Secondly, pampering is also the most labor-saving way to show your love for your children.

This kind of love is not for the better growth of the children, but just for the parents to enjoy the feeling of "they love their children."

There is an ancient saying in China called "A kind mother often fails her children." This "kindness" is the feeling and state enjoyed by parents who spoil their children. It is not love. Such short-sighted and immediate "love" will bring long-term harm to the children.

Gu Tingye, the legitimate son and second son of the Gu family, suffered greatly from this.

He lost his mother in his early years, and his stepmother, Mrs. Qin, was well versed in the principle of "a loving mother loses her son". In order to achieve the goal of driving Gu Tingye out of the Gu family, Mrs. Qin had cared for and doted on him since he was a child. Hold it above all the brothers.

Under her pampering, Gu Tingye wasted all his talents, not doing his job all day long, gambling and drinking, keeping an extramarital wife, and even made his father angry to death.

He ended up betraying his relatives and being accused of being unfilial by his elders.

At this time, the stepmother showed her true face, pretending to regret that she had raised a white-eyed wolf, changed her face towards Gu Tingye, and successfully expelled him from the house.

The best way to destroy a child is to accommodate him in every possible way and make him lose his mind, judgment and resistance.

03

Parents who truly love their children focus on their long-term happiness rather than immediate happiness.

In "Touch the Dragon and Talk about the Empress Dowager Zhao", Master Zuo has a famous saying: "Parents who love their children have far-reaching plans." She read in "Warring States Policy" that she successfully persuaded her second uncle Gu Tingye with this principle.

Tingye, who was expelled from the Gu family, fell into a bandit's trap and rescued Minglan in an accident.

Minglan was worried about the future of her second uncle's sensible and lovely daughter, Sister Rong, and persuaded him to abandon the dark side and join the bright side. She said:

She is your daughter. She is who you are. If you are in the Gu Mansion, she will be the daughter of the Hou Mansion; if you are a bandit, she will be the daughter of the bandit.

You can't delay her for a lifetime just because of your own temporary anger.

Looking at Sister Rong who was having fun with everyone, Gu Tingye said: "Look how happy she is now. She is happier than in Tianshui Lane and happier than in Hou Mansion."

"But people can't just look at the present in this life. Parents love their children, and they have far-reaching plans. How can they only look at the present?

When she is 3 years old, she has to think about things when she is 10 years old, and when she is 10 years old, she has to think about things Thinking about her when she was 16 years old. "If you don't have long-term worries, you will have immediate worries." These words awakened Gu Tingye, and he joined the army.

Parents who are truly good for their children should consider their long-term interests instead of just coveting their immediate short-term happiness.

Unfortunately, there are still many parents who still do not understand this truth.

In "Know whether you know it or not, you should be green, fat, red and thin", there are many lights of wisdom of this kind of education.