When we count Bing Xin's rich fruits of life, we have to meditate on the buried soul that nourishes Bing Xin, and inspire her to live with the "philosophy of love" and write the source of strength-Christian belief. Perhaps few people know that Bing Xin is a Christian.
Mao Dun said in Bing Xin Lun: "A person's thoughts are determined by her life experience, and foreign thoughts will not germinate without' suitable soil'." This is to show that Bing Xin is influenced by Christianity and other thoughts and depends on her loving family life experience. On the basis of this life experience, Bing Xin clearly said: "Due to the influence of Christianity, my own philosophy of' love' has been invisibly formed."
According to Bing Xin's recollection, her family had some connection with the Christian church. Her second uncle teaches in a missionary school (Fuzhou Huaying College). The male and female teachers in the college are missionaries and have been guests at home. When Bing Xin was born, her father asked a female doctor in the hospital to deliver the baby. She remembered the scene when an American female doctor came to give birth to her brothers and visited them at the full moon. Bing Xin said: "Parents have a good impression of them." After the family moved to Beijing, Bing Xin's uncle often went to the YMCA in Beijing to read newspapers and play ball games, and made friends with the directors of the YMCA. Through the introduction of the director of the YMCA, Bing Xin's eldest brother and uncle's son studied English at the YMCA night school, and Bing Xin entered the Beiman Girls' Middle School run by the American Methodist Church.
It is worth mentioning that the Young Men's Christian Association (YMCA) is a bridge between the Christian church and the society. Its motto is "Don't serve others, but serve others", that is, Jesus said, "I am not here to be served, but to serve others." As such an organizational form, Beijing YMCA provided a cultural activity place for the intellectuals in China at that time, and formed an indissoluble bond with modern literature in China. Several important members of the Literature Research Association, such as Zheng Zhenduo, Qu Shiying, Geng Jizhi, Xu Dishan, Qu Qiubai, etc., read many foreign books that could not be finished in China at that time, and also ran the magazines "New Society" and "Human Nature" with the support of the YMCA. Later, through the recommendation of Xu Dishan and Qu Shiying, Bing Xin was listed as a "Literature Research Association".
Bing Xin's northern Manchu girls are not as closed and autocratic as people think. Judging from her later memories, there was a rather strong atmosphere of freedom. In addition to studying arts and sciences courses, there is also a "literature meeting" every Wednesday, and Bing Xin receives speech and debate training. She also participated in school drama performances and summer camps, and played the role of an angel. Even when I was a student, I took part in demonstrations against Yuan Shikai's traitorous behavior and so on. It is here that Bing Xin systematically studied the Bible, and achieved the best results in Bible class and English.
Every morning, in addition to extracurricular classes, there is a party in the last half hour, which is preached by Chinese and American teachers or Methodist priests in our school. There is also a Bible study class on Sunday. Pastor Mai, Dean of Concord Women's College, first told a Bible story for half an hour, and then went to Methodist Church for a large service. Bing Xin recalled: "Our Bible class read the New Testament from the Old Testament, and I learned from the Gospels that Jesus Christ was a' man'. I saw a poor carpenter's illegitimate son have so many people who believed in him. He was brutally crucified because he preached "love your neighbor as yourself". This image is respectable. " Bing Xin is not religious at this time. In her view, Jesus is the son of mankind, not the son of God.
After graduating from Beiman Girls' Middle School, Bing Xin was admitted to another missionary school, Concord Women's University (later merged into yenching university). During her stay at Yan University, Bing Xin also wrote an essay "Painting-Poetry", describing her feelings when she saw a painting in the room of the Bible professor Ms. An:
A dangerous rock wall is covered with bitter fleabane. Climbing on the wall is a shepherd, with his face behind his back, holding a pole in his right hand, but his left hand is touching a lamb under the cliff, and his fingertips just touch the lamb's head. Several eagles are hovering in the sky. ..... There are thorns on the shepherd's sleeve. He climbed over the cliff to find his lamb, poor lamb! It lost its way, the underground was full of misguided roads, and the sky was followed by a hungry eagle-at the end of its tether, the shepherd came! Do not blame it, but still love it, it is sad, ashamed, like, only gentle and shy! Stand with your head up beside the shepherd's hand, motionless.
This holy painting is based on the Bible, and compares Jesus to a loyal shepherd. He loves lambs and risks his life to find lost people. Yu Dafu, who suffered from depravity, expressed his understanding through the mouth of a missionary in LostSheep. The preface written by confession: "We can give all our worries to a greater shepherd than ourselves, because we are all lost sheep, and it is inevitable that there will be danger and fear when we get lost." Only we can tell the dangers and fears we can't bear. However, Bing Xin, who was not eroded by social wind, frost, rain and snow, felt the overflowing interest of love in the painting "The Shepherd Looking for LostSheep" and was intoxicated in the aesthetic realm of love and beauty.
At the same time, this feeling is integrated into her life experience, which brings her more than just "tasting and enjoying". She said, "It hints at me, teaches me and comforts me. It won't let me say a word, but let me stand by the fire. -my eyes don't move, and my heart feels like a tidal wave. Suddenly, I want to cry. Are these tears of gratitude? What about faith? Is that comforting? It's not for me to say, and I can't say it-"She can only express her unspeakable feelings with the words in the Bible:" God is my shepherd ... and wakes me up in my heart ... "The glory of God is above the heavens, and the sky is full of what his hands made ... wordless ... but the voice is circulating everywhere. "Also during Yan Da, Bing Xin was baptized in a priest's house.
Bing Xin received dual education. First, she was nurtured by a Confucian family. One is the formal education obtained in a missionary school. In the family environment, she read a series of China classical books; In the missionary school, she systematically studied the Bible, a classic of western culture, and provided her with literature lessons. In a later interview, Bing Xin talked about her attitude towards religious belief. "I don't pay attention to religious ceremonies, but I don't think people's behavior violates dogma." She opposes the chauvinist view that "China had no culture before Christianity was introduced". It is believed that one does not have to be a priest to be baptized and enter a church school, and live a life of wearing robes and attending a pulpit. "It is not a bright road to show perfect love, the magic of nature and the guidance of art." Bing Xin chose the road of literature and art.