1. Nuo, which is equivalent to OK now. 2. Before the Qing Dynasty entered the customs, the generals all knew about the Three Kingdoms, printed 1000 copies of Romance of the Three Kingdoms, and sent them to the generals as internal documents ... 3. If someone annoys you, you should immediately jump on it, bite it and hug it. What's this, crab! Han Xin is definitely not a crab. I was hired by you, and I am loyal to your plan. If you don't listen to my idea, bye-bye, I'm going to change my boss. 5. Emperor Huan and Lingdi are not suitable to be emperors ... Lingdi's hobbies are literature and architecture. He is very good at architecture. He did research all day, and as a result, he built a tap water system in the palace! Moreover, he also wants to promote his scientific research achievements in the city, announcing that all the people in the city should drink tap water-you are the emperor, not the sewer! 6. The imperial court sent someone to check the king of Wu, but no weapons of mass destruction were found. 7. Cao Cao's first official position was Beiwei, Luoyang County, which was equivalent to the deputy county magistrate and the police chief. 8. Cao Cao is short, about the same as me. Compared with Zhuge Liang's ratio of 1.84 meters, it can only be regarded as unqualified and defective products. 9. Cao Cao likes beautiful women. Everywhere I go, I like to "hug the grass and shoot rabbits" and collect some beautiful women and so on! 10. Baby, come back, okay? Stop it and come back with me ... (Cao Cao advised his wife to go home) 1 1. Cao Cao said to various governors: "Now is the best time to destroy Dong Zhuo-Dong Zhuo burned Luoyang and hijacked the emperor, so he can basically be positioned as a terrorist organization." 12. Lu Bu thought: Cao Cao, a thief, is really cunning! 13. Yuan Shao meets guests at home all day. In the present words, he is having a salon and a party, and the traffic is busy and crowded. This incident caught the attention of the authorities at that time. 14. Yuan Shu thinks that the title of emperor, like the trademark in our market economy, should be registered first. He thought he registered the emperor's trademark first, and others could do nothing about it. Unexpectedly, he became the target of public criticism. 15. Yuan Shang and Yuan said together, "Let's treat that boy Gongsun Kang to a drink and let him be at the party!" Gongsun Kang added here: "Why don't I invite them to drink and cook at the banquet ..." As a result, Gongsun Kang cooked them! 16. This makes us feel that Yuan Shao seems to have a genius. He must not listen to any correct opinions that are beneficial to him, and he must listen to any wrong opinions that are unfavorable to him. That's weird. 17. It's good that Liu Bei dares to escape. He is like a rat on a ship, and always seems to be the first to notice which ship will capsize … first, he fights Yuan Shao with Gongsun Zan, then Lu Bu with Cao Cao, and then Yuan Shao fights Cao Cao … 18. At that time, people in Jiangdong called Sun Ce "Sun Lang" and Zhou Yu "Zhou Lang". Lang is a young man, which means praising beauty. Therefore, "Sun Lang" means "Sun Shuai" and ""means "Zhou Shuai" ... Handsome people like flattery, so Sun Ce and Zhou Yu married the two most beautiful girls at that time ... It can be said that Zhou Yu is proud of the battlefield, officialdom, love and games ... Anyway, I am envious! 19. By the way, Jiang Gan is also very wronged-he didn't steal any books at all, and he is not ugly, and he is also a handsome boy, because Zhou Yu is a handsome boy and his friend ... usually a handsome boy. 20. The so-called empty plan was also made up ... Zhuge Liang moved a piano, put an incense burner, called two children and sang karaoke on the rostrum ... E ... Sima Yi thought it was a trick when he saw Zhuge Liang playing the piano and said, "I'm going to Kara, will you come with me?" ~! "2 1. Wu Zetian took the old ticket and boarded the luxury yacht harem again. 22. Boys are not naughty when they are young, but worthless when they grow up. 23. "Because all the governors who make up the coalition are in the east of Hangu Pass, this unit is also called Kanto Coalition, Kanto Coalition and Kanto Rebel ~ ~ ~ referred to as' Kwantung Army' (-! ! ! ) "24. Xiang Yu is so human that he is loved by girls. I'm afraid all the girls at that time would marry Xiang Yu. 25. What about Liu Bang? At this moment, two girls, one left and one right, are waiting to wash their feet. Maybe like us modern people, we should do a foot massage or something. 26. Han Xin, you are not a kind person! 27. "What should Chao Cuo do at this time? He should pick up his tail and be a man. He didn't! Today's reform and tomorrow's reform are like stirring a dung stick, which will upset the court. ""cut governors is a must, but not as urgent as you Chao Cuo. "28. It is possible that Liu Bang got rheumatoid arthritis after years of fighting! 29. "Cao Cao's so-called" wasteland reclamation "is the militarization of lifestyle; Tian is a centralized mode of production. This is a very clever policy! It is equivalent to that Cao Cao established a production and construction corps more than 1700 years ago! "30." Yuan Shao wants to set up a new king. On one occasion, Cao Cao was invited to drink. After drinking, he took out a Zhang Yuxi, probably carved by Yuan Shao himself, and discussed it with Cao Cao (weighing it with one hand and whispering with the other):' Look, how about this matter, let's do it like this ~ ~' "31." Yuan Shao is a concubine and Yuan Shu is an official. Yuan Shu is crazier than Yuan Shao, and Yuan Shu is more stupid than Yuan Shao. The most awesome is the stupidest ~ ~ ~ "33." Although in the eyes of scholars, A Dream of Red Mansions is theNo. 1 of China's novels, ordinary people still recognize the Water Margin and the Three Kingdoms. You see, the ancestors of all walks of life are all characters in the water margin of the Three Kingdoms-robbers, who worship Song Jiang as their ancestors; Thief, worship and move (-! ) ...... Guan Yu, who shaved his head ... The God of Wealth is also Guan Yu ... In my opinion, Guan Yu will become the originator of the matchmaking industry sooner or later, because Guan Yu pursues love. When he and Liu Bei were under Cao Cao's command, before attacking Lu Bu, they said to Cao Cao: After Lu Bu was captured, you should marry someone to me. Cao Cao agreed ... Cao Cao looked at it: the country is beautiful! I got the moon first when I was close to the advantage-I took it for myself. Guan Yu was very depressed as a result. . . "34." What's the relationship between the barber and Guan Yu? At that time, people in the Three Kingdoms did not shave their heads, but kept their hair. It's just that both the barber and Guan Yu are holding knives ~ ~ which reminds me of a couplet posted by the barber:' How many heads are there in the world? Let's see how the old lady does it! Who dares to go in and shave their heads after reading this! 35. Many people who study history regard history as a corpse, put it on an autopsy table, cut it bit by bit with a scalpel, and take out the kidney, liver and heart to study. This may be one way, but I don't like it very much. I am from a literary background. I think that in the face of history, we should first feel its flesh and blood and texture, and then we can talk about research. 36. What is real is not good-looking, and what is good-looking is not true, so there must be a way to solve this problem. I think this method is wonderful. The so-called "wonderful theory" means that history is included and literature is outside, which is both historical truth and literary interest. 37. In the Century Lecture Hall of Phoenix Satellite TV, the host asked me: You have been conscious for more than 50 years, and you have affirmed yourself for more than 50 years. Should I give myself a statement? I don't want to write a eulogy for myself so early. But if he wants to ask, then say it! The way I give it is that I am at least an interesting person. 38. I divide my speech style into three realms: one is "frankness", that is, based on historical facts, no nonsense, no nonsense, and a serious academic attitude; The second is the "interest theory", which emphasizes the vividness of expression on the basis of adhering to the truth. In order to reach this level, I will add some nonsense funny language, which is sometimes necessary, just like adding spices such as pepper and monosodium glutamate when cooking, which can greatly arouse the audience's interest in listening and speaking; The third is the "wonderful theory", that is, analyzing history and enlightening the audience on the basis of the first two theories, which is the highest realm. 39. "I am not an expert and scholar. I'm just a pathfinder. I am a mine walker and I may die at any time. " 40. Did Sun Jian say this when he proposed? "If you marry someone else, you must marry me. Put on your dowry, take your sister and drive your carriage. " 4 1. Yi Zhongtian: There is a story in the book Zhuangzi. Two Confucian scholars went to rob a tomb. Everyone knows that they stole things from the dead, and the Confucian scholars were outside. But I didn't ask him much, so I recited the poem. How can he recite it? "What happened to the East?" "I haven't unbuttoned the dead man's clothes yet, and now I find a bead in his mouth," said the little Confucian. But he didn't say that, and he recited a poem. "I haven't untied my skirt, and there is a bead in my mouth!" Then the little Confucian began to dig beads in the dead man's mouth, and while digging, he even recited poems, "Green wheat, born Yu Ling monument. If you don't live, why not die? " What does this sentence mean? "Green wheat, it grows on the hillside slope. Don't donate money when you are alive. Why do you still have a bead when you die? " 42. It's none of your business whether people donate or not. You only steal from others, but also preach the truth and express it in poetic language. You are disgusting, sour and hypocritical! 43. Who is more important, uncle or aunt? 44. The girl is a charming guest with a big face! 45. What a tragedy! 46. Did you come to this world for a walk? What motive? 47. Why not hold a training course for presenters? The media nowadays are all retarded. 48. I tell you, people nowadays can't be leaders unless they are mentally retarded! 49. Is the library made of paper? 50. Never heard of storytelling! 5 1. How the Three Kingdoms describe Zhuge Liang: He is eight feet tall and handsome. What's his name? Is it Viagra? 52. Auntie is awesome. We call a woman awesome and call her aunt. It is said that having a daughter is amazing and calling her sister-in-law. 53. Kings rule the world. Just click it. 54. Knives can't be unsheathed casually; It needs blood. 55. People are forced out. If you are simple, the world is simple for you. 57. There is no rehearsal in life. Every day is a live broadcast.