3: I can't eat swans ~ I can't eat a duck yet.
4. Pure, fictional, chaotic and beautiful.
Smart people are unmarried, and married people are hard to be smart.
6. College students = eat+sleep+fall in love with pigs = eat+sleep, so college students = pigs+fall in love with more college students-fall in love with pigs = that is, college students don't fall in love with pigs.
7. When the college entrance examination results came out, the teacher breathed a sigh of relief and said to me: In fact, it is a kind of happiness for you and the university.
8: The boy next door finally vowed to lose weight. At the graduation job fair, someone said to him: Sorry, buddy, you are blocking my cell phone signal.
9: Everyone! Today is the 10 anniversary of my wife's 30th birthday!
10: The future is bright, but there is no road.
1 1: note to robbers: our staff only know Spanish. Please be patient when grabbing, and you'd better bring an interpreter. Thank you!
12: there is no rehearsal in life, and it is broadcast live every day, which not only has low ratings, but also low wages. If the ear itches, it proves that someone misses you; If your eyes itch, it proves that someone wants to see you; If your lips itch, it proves that someone wants to kiss you; If your body itches. . . . Stop joking, it's time for a bath! ! !
13: If I had a candy, I would give it to you, because I want you to be happy. If I had two sweets, we would each have one. I think we would be very happy together. If I had three sweets, I would give you two, because I hope you have more cavities than me!
14: One day, an angry man rushed into the office and asked, Is this the Animal Protection Association? Yes, the staff said, who bullied you?
15: the most negative one: there is no copper in the optical fiber, and it is useless to steal it. Without copper, you should probably have some other metals and you can sell them. That's funny!
16: affectionate days, affectionate places, affectionate I am waiting for you. I miss you with a lonely pillow: I love you+miss you+hope you+miss you+wait for you = I can't live without you, I love you-Xizhilang cici jelly!
17: One day, it was raining heavily outside. The teacher came into the classroom with a full face of rain. He doesn't know what he is looking for on the table. After looking for it for a while, he asked his classmates in the front row, where is my facial tissue?
18: The falling rain reminds me of my infinite thoughts ~ ~ To put it bluntly, I miss you! When the weather is fine, I will take you to that green meadow. But I agreed with you in advance: only eat grass and don't arch the ground!
The future is bright, but there is no road.
1, the head with shell and a thunderbolt hairstyle.
I allow you to enter my world, but I will never allow you to enter or leave my world.
3, there is no rehearsal in life, live broadcast every day, not only the ratings are low, but also the salary is low.
4. What are you unhappy about? Say it to make everyone happy.
5, beautiful MM are fleeting clouds, only the warm right hand is eternal. ...
6, the crowd looked for her thousands of Baidu, suddenly looking back, that person still shrugged off me.
7. Advertisement on the subway: Is it crowded? Buy a car! Advertisements in taxis: Are they blocked? Take the subway!
After studying for more than ten years, I think it is better to mix in kindergarten.
9. Stay in Qingshan, but there is still no firewood.
10 Even if the earth doesn't turn, we will continue to turn around the CPC Central Committee with President Hu as the center.
1 1. If there is a problem, find the reason from yourself first. Don't blame the earth for its lack of gravity when you are constipated.
12, girl, you have to eat properly to lose weight!
13. Even if I were a toad, I would never marry my mother toad.
14, the boy is poor, otherwise he doesn't know how to struggle; The girl is full, or some flowers will be abducted.
15, you'd better not miss two things in life: the last bus home and someone who loves you deeply.
16. The future is bright, but there is no road.
17, don't I earn money just to eat? Earn money, earn a meal, even have no time to eat, earn a P. (my colleague said)
18, your parents should take that 10 minute out for a walk.
19, love your country, love your school sister, guard against thieves ~
20, big brother … I swear to the lamp … I really smoked …
2 1. One day, a mother-in-law took a bus … didn't know the way halfway … spanked the driver with a stick and said, where is this? The driver said, this is my P-share …
22. Going to work is to carry forward the spirit that dead mice are not afraid of cold.
23. If you do this again in the future, don't blame me for not being a man!
24. I sat on a stone 150 million years ago and spent an afternoon …
25. When I think about problems, my left brain is flour and my right brain is water.
26. Chris Lee's quotation: I smoke, but I spit out loneliness. Don't be infatuated with me. I'm just a legend ... Brother Chun is a pure man, a real man of iron and blood, a good brother of the people, a good father and son, a man who can stand by his fists and walk by his arms, but ten women can't fall down at night, and the color of chrysanthemums is still red.
27, shepherd, life is in a hurry; Taurus, keep for a lifetime; Gemini, wandering all his life; Cancer, waiting for a lifetime; Lions are in control all their lives; A virgin, who has been preparing all her life; Libra has been weighing all his life; Scorpio is suspicious all his life; Shooter, playing all his life; Capricorn, struggle for a lifetime; Aquarius, dreaming all his life; Pisces, you don't know what you are doing all your life.
28. Really fat people don't lose weight.
29, the ideal is full, the reality is very skinny.
30. Dead vines and old trees faint crows, small bridges and flowing water, thin horses in the west wind and old roads, and old people in the "Tianya" when the sun sets.
3 1. The difference between a lie and an oath is that the listener takes it seriously and the speaker takes it seriously.
32. Do you want me to go out? I'm out. Do you want me back? Sorry, it's gone.
You are such a bitch. You are so forgetful.
34. Lei Feng did a good deed without leaving a name, but everything was recorded in his diary.
35. Happiness is scratching when it itches. Unfortunately, it itches but I can't catch it. More unfortunately, for a long time, neither the soul nor the body felt itchy.
36. God didn't give me much responsibility, but it still made me heartache and tired.
37, who is it, holding my hand and gathering my half-life madness; Who, kiss my eyes, cover my half-life displacement.
I like the first half of your mother's short story. That's all for today. Please continue to enjoy it at the same time tomorrow. I like the second half of your mother. ...
39. Thank you, thank you uncle, thank you family, thank you ancestors for 18 generations.
40. According to the data, in 20xx, 52% of the total population in China was male and 43% was female.
4 1, dreaming of dream of eating spaghetti, waking up in the morning to find that my shoelaces are gone!
42. An iron pestle can be ground into a needle, and a wooden pestle can only be ground into a toothpick. The material is wrong, and it's no use trying again.
The future is bright, but the road is not.
1. Advertisement on the subway: Is it crowded? Buy a car! Advertisements in taxis: Are they blocked? Take the subway!
2, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you for your family, thank you for the 18 th generation of ancestors. Have you ever seen anyone thank you like this? )
3. Data show that in 2008, men accounted for 52% of the total population in China, while women accounted for 43%.
4, dreaming of dream of eating spaghetti, waking up in the morning to find that the shoelaces are gone!
The iron pestle can be ground into a needle, and the wooden pestle can only be ground into a toothpick. The material is wrong, and it's no use trying again.
6, stay in the green hills, still no firewood to burn.
Even if the earth does not turn, we will continue to turn around the CPC Central Committee with President Hu as the center.
8. The head with the shell still has a thunderbolt hairstyle.
9. If something goes wrong, look for the reason from yourself first. Don't blame the earth for its lack of gravity when you are constipated.
10, girl, you have to eat properly to lose weight!
1 1. I allow you to enter my world, but I will never allow you to enter or leave my world.
12. Even if I were a toad, I would never marry my mother toad.
13, the boy is poor, otherwise he doesn't know how to struggle; A girl keeps it well, or a few flowers will be abducted.
14, 5-year-old daughter asked her father to do something for her. Dad: "Dad is very tired. Give me a compliment, and I will be refreshed again. " Daughter: "Dad!" Dad: "Hey!" Daughter: "Your Niu Niu is really beautiful ..."
15, you'd better not miss two things in life: the last bus home and someone who loves you deeply.
16, no rehearsal in life, live broadcast every day, not only low ratings, but also low wages.
17. The future is bright, but there is no road.
18, don't I earn money just to eat? Earn money, earn a meal, even have no time to eat, earn a P. (my colleague said)
19, how nice it is for parents to take that 10 minute for a walk!
20. Love your country, your family, your sisters, and be wary of thieves, thieves and brothers.
2 1, big brother … I swear to the lamp … I really smoked …
22. One day, a mother-in-law took a bus … didn't know the way halfway … spanked the driver with a stick and said, where is this? The driver said, this is my P-share …
23. Going to work is to carry forward the spirit that a dead mouse can't touch the cold!
If you do this again in the future, don't blame me for not being a man!
25. What are you unhappy about? Say it to make everyone happy.
26. I sat on a stone 150 million years ago and spent an afternoon …
27. When I think about problems, my left brain is flour and my right brain is water.
Complete works of classic funny sentences
1. When you die, I will burn down Hongyi Courtyard to see you off.
2, weeding day is noon, nothing is reliable. It is better to fight the landlord than to have nothing to do.
Looking back, that man is already the father of the child.
4. God, come out and see the Tathagata.
5, growing old together is not a matter of dyeing a hair and knocking out a few teeth.
6. Don't worry, I'm not a good person.
7. Come on, drag it out and eat 250 loaves without drinking water.
8. The highest level of work is to watch others go to work and get other people's wages.
9. There is only one Liu Yiyang. Unfortunately, he is on TV.
10, when is the time to hug each other, Yang is watching.
1 1, believe it or not, I slapped you on the wall and couldn't button it!
12, I kept looking down when I saw others pretending to be B. It's not that I'm low-key, it's that I'm looking for bricks.
13, look into my eyes, besides shit, you will see perseverance and sincerity.
14, I'm not a male, I don't have his brave energy.
15, if you don't turn over the books in the exam, you are simply a pig. Don't panic when you cheat, you must pretend when you are caught.
16. In this world, there are mothers and children's mothers all over the street.
17, who didn't meet two scum when he was young?
18, when the robbers robbed the bank, they said a wise saying: Nobody moves! Money belongs to the country, life is your own!
19, do you feel like skipping rope like QQ login?
20, handsome has a fart to use, in the end it has not been eaten by a chess piece.
2 1, ancient Ximen Qing, now Edison Chen; The stream sees the stream and takes out its own camera.
22. To become a Edison Chen, you should bring your camera when you check in.
May sings: Can I hug you? Xu Liangsang: No, sir.
24. You are in my aunt's heart, in my brother's dream, in my brother's heart and in my father's song.
25. "Ten Years" sang the voice of every fat paper: I want to be thin and cry. ...
26. In the morning, my mother listened to your backpack and told me that Eason Chan was a terrible person. He borrowed something and refused to return it. He even annoys others by singing.
They say I look like Chow Yun Fat, but I look like Andy Lau.
28. I wish my rival in love and lover a lifetime without love.
29. Life is like Park Youchun's hairstyle. You never know what tomorrow will bring.
30. Today is your birthday. In order to wish you a happy birthday, all male and female toilets and bathrooms are open to you free of charge. Welcome to visit!
3 1, the highest level of brothers is that others think we are gay.
32. Today is your birthday. Your friend ordered a power train pawn for you. Please tap on the floor with your mobile phone ... OK, the song ordering is over.
33. Name: Birthday. Raw materials: sincerity. Auxiliary materials: bless you. Date of production: since I met you. Shelf life: until the end of the world. Commodity number:. Special note: Happy birthday to you.
34. Send you a cup of juice specially prepared by me, which contains 100cc desire, 200cc of happiness and 300cc of vitality every day. Happy birthday!
35. A lady walked into a pet shop and wanted to buy a sweater for a puppy. The salesman asked her to bring the puppy so that she could check the size. Miss: No, I want to give it a surprise on its birthday.
36, a leader's birthday party, everyone sent money to send things, just a strange friend sent a pair of couplets. Part 1: Beer, wine and cocktails have been waiting for you for a long time! Part two: rooster, hen, black-bone chicken, just in time! Horizontal approval: supervision and supervision!
37. Laugh and worry about running; Second, laugh and hate; San Xiao is a pity; Laugh four times and get sick; Five smiles are not old; Six laughs and fun. Laugh often, and you will live longer than Nanshan.
38. If Conan suddenly calls, tell him I'm playing poker with Bikachu.
Brother, tell me something you are unhappy about. Make me happy!
40. On the eve of your birthday, I wish you Pepsi-Cola, Fanta in everything, Wahaha every day, Pepsi every month, Gao Legao every year, feeling like Sprite, always eye-catching.
4 1, in the workplace, I should be like Conan with a domineering attitude of letting others die wherever I go.
42. When something happens, you should first find the reason from yourself. If you can't shit, don't blame the earth for being unattractive.
43. I thought it was a flower on the edge of a cliff, but later I realized it was just slag in a sea of people!
44. After all, I am not "RMB", and it is impossible for everyone to like it!
On your birthday, I can't help but praise you and wish you a long life!