Many years ago, an elder in the field of management asked me: What do you think you stand for when you are thirty? I thought about it for a long time and could not find a precise answer. He told me that establishing yourself at thirty is not about starting a family or starting a career on the surface. What you are establishing is a mature thinking mode and the ability to think independently and deeply.

Until I passed the age of thirty, I hit a wall, shed tears, took the wrong path, and loved the wrong person. Only after many twists and turns did I truly understand this truth. When we are young, we are too accustomed to "using things". As soon as the problem arises, I immediately want to call a few people who have experienced it and gain a lot of experience. As soon as your emotions are frustrated, you immediately turn to a group of close friends and give you a thousand solutions.

At that time, we always looked forward to using the experience of others to guide our lives, and we always hoped to use famous sayings and aphorisms to enlighten our wisdom. We were always too eager to borrow external forces and relied too easily on foreign aid. We only lack the ability of self-awareness and self-use.

I once met a woman in a beauty salon. She had fair skin, a tight waist, and a well-proportioned figure. She looked to be in her early forties. After the treatment, she put on light makeup, tied up her hair, and got ready for a date. After chatting for a while, I politely called her "Sister", but she stopped me with a smile: "You have to call me Auntie, maybe I am older than your mother!"

As soon as I asked, sure enough, she had already As a grandmother, my granddaughter is half a year older than my son. Everyone in the audience was shocked and asked her for tips on skin care. She said that she experienced two dangerous and serious illnesses. Later, she studied Chinese medicine, insisted on yoga, and drank Chinese medicine twice a year at fixed solar terms for major conditioning. She pays attention to the subtle changes in body hair and skin, analyzes the relationship between her body constitution and the seasons, records the impact of mentality and emotions on Qi, blood and skin, and spends several years summarizing dozens of effective dietary prescriptions.

The beauty-loving women were instantly injected with chicken blood. Some asked for a pulse, some asked for the secret recipe, and some wanted to fly to Tongrentang next door immediately. She smiled: "My method is only suitable for me. You must first understand your body, observe, analyze, try, and feel, then you can find the method that suits you best. Don't be superstitious about other people's secret recipes, just like the experience of others. It’s not something that can be used directly on you. The only person who knows you best in the world and can change you is yourself.”

I don’t know if the women present heard the deeper meaning like me. . Only a woman who constantly summarizes and analyzes herself can become her own Chinese medicine doctor - distinguishing the context, identifying the lesions, taking appropriate supplements, exercising reasonably, nourishing the skin and body, and cultivating the mind and appearance.

We have learned many secrets of immortality, listened to many lessons of blood and tears, and drank countless emotional chicken soups, but we still cannot handle a relationship and cannot live this life well. Simply because no one’s experience is completely applicable. If the orange grows in Huainan, it becomes tangerine, and if it grows in the north of Huaihe, it becomes tangerine. She is just her, never you.

Every person, as an independent individual, has a huge background system behind him - personality, emotions, family of origin, weaknesses, taboos, laughter and pain points. Life is so rich, and no one’s experience can fully guide another person’s life.