You must have heard Hemingway’s famous quote: It takes us two years to learn to speak, but it takes a lifetime to learn to shut up. But of course you don’t know. In fact, he also said the second half of the sentence: “In life, the more we talk, the farther we are from each other, and the more conflicts we have. Most people are always in a hurry. Express yourself, vomit quickly, but ignore the other person's feelings and tolerance, and don't understand the other person at all."

In fact, we talk normally in life, but talking nonsense is not normal. Hemingway looked at the chattering people every day and thought: None of you understand me! Talking to someone you can't talk to is torture and very painful. Everyone cares about Hemingway's first words, but do you know what? This lonely old man even summed up the three conversations he had with people: "It takes two years to learn to speak, and a lifetime to learn to shut up." It seems that honest people naturally like chicken soup. Smart people in this world never cherish words like gold. Only honest people can talk endlessly. 60% of what most of us do every day is useless, so we can guess that 90% of what we say in a day is probably nonsense. The most common thing in daily life is meeting acquaintances on the road. The most common question Chinese people ask is, what to do and what to eat? Foreigners often say that the weather today is really nice. These words are basically nonsense. But why do you say such nonsense? Because you are afraid of an embarrassing atmosphere, so you say it.

A woman can effortlessly speak six thousand to eight thousand words a day, while a man can only speak a maximum of two thousand to four thousand words a day. The reason a woman babbles is because she talks intensely, so talking nonsense brings her pleasure. Buddhism does a great job. Seeing word-of-mouth trading as an evil trade, as monks most people prefer to keep quiet and call it retreat. Buddhists call nonsense and lying “speech karma.” This trick is so effective that almost no one dares to talk about it in Buddhism.

Smart people in this world never cherish words like gold. Only honest people can talk endlessly. Talking more does not mean talking more, so how can we communicate with others effectively? Three words: I understand you! Most of us have such a problem that it is difficult to communicate with others. We always try to persuade others with our thoughts and words, but we often fail to achieve the effect and are hated by others. The fundamental reason is that you don't understand him, you don't understand what he is thinking, and he doesn't understand what you are saying. Therefore, the importance of these three words I understand you is obvious.

This person who understands words really understands it. As we saw in spy dramas, sending and receiving must be on the same frequency in order to work properly. Only when you truly understand what the other person is thinking can you maintain the same frequency as him, so that what you say is what the other person wants to hear. No matter who will only listen to what he wants to hear, what you say will not be nonsense to him, it will make him wake up, that is wisdom!

Guiguzi gave an analogy: fishing. It is said that Guiguzi has two hobbies, one is fishing and the other is chatting, or chatting is called efficient communication. Effective communication is the use of words to persuade a person to follow your advice. Effective communication is like fishing. This can be practiced. How to practice - figure it out!

In Guiguzi’s opinion. Fishing is the same as fishing for people. You must know how to think, know what the other person really thinks, and then make them like it.

Speculation is the basis of efficient communication

Nowadays, people think that guessing is forbidden, and when it comes to guessing, they become "fearful". Such people basically don't know how to figure it out. People who don't know how to figure things out most of the time are in a state of "nonsense" communication. Many little things can consume a lot of your energy and make you tired of communicating. People often confuse speculation with scheming, city planning, and calculation. So what exactly is speculation? To speculate is to speculate, and the act of collecting as much information as possible is called speculation. Mo is the meaning of Mo. MoYi is based on speculation. It is called MoYi and is used to test and study each other's intentions. Speculation is the process of collecting information, while speculation is the process of figuring out other people's psychology.

So what kind of result are you looking for? Four words: Correspondence of like, which in current terminology is called empathy. What is empathy? Guiguzi believes that only similar things can react.

We must admit that birds of a feather flock together. It is precisely because of this that conflicts between classes and estrangements between people have resulted. Your loneliness comes from not understanding others. Maybe you will say that it is unrealistic to be a scheming person. So, finally, we end with Hemingway's famous quote: In a sense, everything kills each other. Fishing is killing me, but it also feeds me. Sure, trying to figure it out is a calculation, but if you want to communicate effectively with people and bullshit, trying to figure it out is the cure-all.

Remember, as a man, you must know how to think. If you don’t think, don’t speak. If you don’t think, don’t do it. If you don’t think, don’t believe anyone. Everyone is not an island, so we must know how to understand and integrate, and learn how to communicate and cooperate to form a vast continent.