Be careful when making friends. No matter who you make friends with, you should be careful. A well-known proverb, "He who is near the ink is black", vividly illustrates the importance of "making friends carefully", which is the experience of the ancients. The fact is true, how a person's friends often play a great role in their own development, which is an invisible and subtle influence.
What's the best friend to make? The ancients said, "The winner has three friends, and the loser has three friends. Friends are straightforward, friends are considerate, and many friends are heard, which is beneficial; Friends are withdrawn, friendly and soft, and friends are hurt. " In other words, making friends with honest, trustworthy and knowledgeable people will benefit a lot; It is harmful to make friends with flattering, insincere and flashy people. This still inspires us how to choose and make friends today. Generally speaking, in real life, we make the following kinds of friends, which is most conducive to the development of friends' municipal administration.
Best friend. Refers to friends who are sincere and live by feelings and principles.
Fear of friends refers to people who can "learn from each other morally and discipline each other in negligence", that is, people who dare to speak out and criticize others directly and actively carry out criticism and self-criticism. Fear of friends can be like a mirror, reflecting the dust and stains on each other's faces, so as to find and correct them in time.
Close friends. Is to be able to "prioritize, live and die together." That is to say, close friends who are affectionate and can share joys and sorrows with themselves.
A friend who is diligent in learning or knowledgeable. Making friends can increase your knowledge, broaden your horizons, cooperate with each other, learn from each other's strengths, promote each other and spur each other.
How to treat friends? When we find friends through careful selection, how to ensure the harmonious and healthy development of our relationship is very particular and knowledgeable.
Be honest with each other. From the heart, from the heart. I am most afraid of insincerity, emptiness and dealing with friends. Friends are allowed to have their own privacy, but there is no doubt that whether or not to "hide" and how much to "hide" are the signs to measure friendship.
Keep your promises and trust each other. "Faithfulness" was regarded by the ancients as one of the unchangeable virtues in treating people. Confucius said, "Make friends and keep promises". Faith, first of all, is credit. You keep your word, keep your word, keep your word. Secondly, trust and miss friends without unreasonable suspicion. An unpleasant person can't make friends, and a person who always doubts others rarely makes friends with you.
A hedge between keeps friendship green. & lt& lt Zhuangzi Elder >> There is a saying in China, "A friendship between gentlemen is as light as water, but a friendship between villains is as sweet as water". True friendship depends on sincere sympathy, not sweet words or heavy gifts. As for the exchange of materials, disgusting flattery, mutual use and even cheating, we college students should throw them in the garbage. The friendship between gentlemen should stand the test of time and external environment.
Of course, we advocate that a friendship between gentlemen is as light as water, and we don't object to the polite and civilized gift of a friend list. In a sense, the behavior of "sending charcoal in the snow" or "sending goose feathers in a thousand miles" between friends can better reflect the feelings of mutual concern and friendship between friends. When friends are in trouble, they will give full help and selfless support, which is the performance of true friends.
How to treat bad friends and good friends;
I've heard of anger, happiness, hurting friends, but benefiting friends.
Smell fame and fear, smell joy, trust others, and gradually become blind.
It is a noble spirit that we in China have always respected to treat criticism with a smell and praise with modesty and prudence.
I have heard of anger, fame and joy, but I have hurt my friends and benefited them: I am angry when I hear criticism from others, and I am happy when I hear praise from others, so that my friends who hurt me will come and my good friends will leave me.
Fear of fame, fear of admiration, trust in others, and gradually become blind date objects: when you hear compliments from others, you will be scared, and when you hear criticisms from others, you will be gratified. In this way, honest good friends will be close to us.
Whether you can listen to criticism and treat friends who can give advice as your best friends needs to be measured and cherished. It's hard for ordinary people to do it. In ancient times, all wise men were able to treat "people who trusted directly", for example, Li Shimin treated Wei Zhi. The monarch of national subjugation is mostly a person who only listens to praise and cannot tolerate direct remonstrance. Such as Xia Jie and Zhou Wang.
Good medicine tastes bitter and is good for illness, but advice when most unpleasant is good for action. Therefore, we should thank those who dare to criticize us, and don't look at their own faces and be biased against them.
Those are good friends and those are bad friends? Confucius said that there are three good friends and three bad friends. In chapter 16 of The Analects of Confucius, Confucius said: "It is beneficial for friends to be frank, forgive, and learn more;" Friends will be open, friendly, soft, friends will be destroyed and damaged. "It means that it is beneficial to make friends with honest people, trustworthy people and well-informed people. It is harmful to make friends with flatterers, duplicitous people and glib people.
How to treat bad friends and good friends? The ancients said: those who harm others are far away, and those who benefit others are close.
So, is it because giving advice to others is a good friend, so we always give advice to friends regardless of the occasion? That's not true. Because since we are friends, we should also pay attention to the ways and means of making suggestions. It can not only remind friends not to make mistakes, but also give them a step down. This is a true friend.