1. People live only for fame and fortune, which is fine. I just want to make money. If I eat well, dress well, and live well, I can speak cross talk well. If someone throws 100 million away, I will talk about cross talk every day and do nothing.

2. There is a bright moonlight in front of the bed. I suspect it is frost on the ground. I look up at the bright moon. My name is Guo Degang.

3. Go your own way and let whoever wants to say it.

4. Does their family have a bad reputation? If you don’t pick up something in the aisle, it will be thrown away.

5. Many crosstalks are made up, but this one is true.

6. I’m going to a restaurant for dinner. Do you have any chicken? Waiter: Shh! I am!

7. My cross talk will ruin the Spring Festival Gala!

8. A lot of people came, and I was very happy.

9. You don’t even know me, but I am a great scientist. I have been a scientist for more than a week.

10. In my heart, Yu Qian is a perfect person... This person is finished.

11. Do whatever the guest asks you to do. Why don't you fight for a hundred dollars?

12. First practice how to hold a bicycle and say no to the male ***.

13. Everyone knows that Guan Yu, Liu Bei, and Zhang Fei kowtowed to the ground one by one, as if they were one person. Later, they followed Tang Monk to the West to learn Buddhist scriptures. This matter is even in the Dream of Red Mansions. There are records.

14. Kara is a dog, I wrote it, and I plan to write another one where Yu Qian is a pig.

15. He is beautiful and has a beard like Zhang Fei.

16. If you don’t leave me here, you will have a place to stay; if you don’t leave me everywhere, you will join the railway.

17. While walking, eh, a question mark appeared in front of him, and Liu Bei jumped "唔楔楞楽楞"", eh~ a mushroom appeared, and he ate the mushroom, and Liu Bei grew taller. Still walking forward, there was another one. When he touched it, a flower came out. After eating the flower, Liu Bei raised his hand and said, "Dudududududu" can shoot bullets! That bastard with wings will Here we go

18. Smoking fake cigarettes, drinking fake wine, watching fake football matches, listening to fake singing. Wearing fake name brands and fake headgear. Only the bastard in the world is real and is called a turtle.

19. You are so fat. In the big circle chair you sit on, the flesh on your body is stuffed into the empty space of the chair. It is full. When you stand up, you pull the chair down.

20. If a horse is thin and hairy but has fat hooves, a son who steals his father is not considered a thief. A blind old man married a blind old lady, and neither of them saw each other for more than half their lives.

21. There are so many people coming, I am very pleased. Thank you for coming. Don't leave until the show is over, go have a meal. Whoever goes, pays. Listening to cross talk is twenty, and making noises is sixteen thousand. Just laugh and add money.

22. The moon is setting, crows are crying, and the sky is covered with frost. River maples and fishing fires are facing melancholy. Hanshan Temple is outside the city of Suzhou. You have to buy a ticket to enter... * Withered vines, old trees, and crows, small bridges and flowing water. The old road is westerly and the horse is thin, the sun is setting, and the heart-broken man is in the hospital... His intestines are broken and he still doesn't go to the hospital!... I am the number one master in tampering with Tang poetry and Song lyrics.

23. My mentality is getting more and more peaceful now. I can enjoy everything, so it is easier to create good cross talk.

24. The fact that cross talk can sell for such a high price proves that some people watch and love it. This is the pride of cross talk. Besides, we say cross talk brings happiness to people. I bring you happiness, and it is only natural for you to take care of my food.

25. Your shameless look is very much like my charm back then.

26. There is no door that can stop him, and there is no lock that can stop him. Even the bank's safety lock can be opened by him with a piece of celery.

27. Brains are like pine nuts, boiled in a bowl after opening.

28. When so-and-so was born, his father fell ill. After returning home, his mother had the most difficult time. Here is the husband, here is the child, both have to be taken care of. Feed this child with milk, feed that child with medicine, feed him with milk, and give him medicine. Give me medicine, give me milk. His father is very strong, and the child took the wrong medicine.

29. - It's a denture - throw it away quickly. ――Don’t throw it away, what a pity. ――What's the matter? ——Tie a small stick on it and use it as an itch scratcher.

30. There were about twenty people standing at the door of the White House, some men and some women, and their bags were all ready—reporters! I have to be careful what I say, so as not to let them take advantage of me and embarrass the Chinese people. Going downstairs, this group of people came over: "Master, do you want to sell?" "The seller!" What do you think the White House Cultural Affairs Bureau does for food?

31. It was cold, so I sent you a coat. The post office said it was too heavy, so I unzipped the buttons and put them in my pocket.

32. Hey~~~! There was once an opportunity to make money in front of me, but I didn't take it seriously. The opportunity passed and I regretted it. If God gives me another chance, I hope to tell the village chief: I am willing to go. If I had to add a limit in front of that salary, I hope it would be: 400 yuan.

33. Guo Degang: Brother Di, I hope that the world will be peaceful, that the people of the world will live and work in peace and contentment, that the country will be peaceful and the people will be safe, and that there will be no war. Is that okay, eh? God: (Thinking about it...) This is difficult. Let's tell the truth. I'm not that capable. It's really true. I won't tell you anything else. Can you do something else? Let's discuss something else. I felt that I had a photo of someone else with me. Guo Degang: Brother Di, look at this. This is my senior brother. He is quite cold-looking and can’t find a partner. Please make him prettier.

34. Can I revitalize cross talk alone? Impossible, it just acts as a shock.

35. If cross talk is not funny, then it is "funny".

36. I ordered a portion of shark fin fried rice, but I couldn’t find the shark fin with three pairs of chopsticks. Can you tell me where the shark fin is? The chef said, my name is shark fin.

37. Those who are near pigs are fat, and those who are near urine are coquettish.

38. If you are willing to die, I will be willing to bury you!

39. If the law doesn’t care, I would have beaten him to death long ago.

40. The most inhuman thing in the world is human beings.

41. Spending money is like peeing your pants, it’s so satisfying.

42. Come to a pound of watermelon and weigh it accurately.

43. I have been an artist for more than a week.

44. I want to be a chef and performing artist...

45. A tailor who doesn’t want to be a cook is not a good driver.

46. Taking concubines according to law is the obligation of every citizen!

47. Anyone who doesn’t know him has never eaten pork.

48. As the saying goes, if people go higher, urine will flow lower

49. If I couldn't beat you, I would have fallen out with you long ago.

50. I haven’t eaten for several days, and everyone looks like pancakes.

51. Go your own way and let whoever wants to say it. …

52. Don’t even like fried noodles? You forgot your roots! ! !

53. Young man, you are the sun at two or three o'clock in the morning.

54. Crosstalk pays attention to four tasks: pit. Mongolian. Turn. cheat!

55. I bet you have become a beggar! You are very well dressed!

56. His photo is posted on the door to ward off evil spirits, and posted on the bedside for contraception.

57. You have a good physique. You can tell at a glance that you will live until death.

58. Your shameless look has the charm of my youth.

59. The person performing for you is Li Jing, the young leader of the Beijing Beggar Gang...

60. If I fall in love with you, I would have tied my head to my belt!

61. This young man looks like an actor when he hides his face...

62. Is there a tradition in their family? If you don’t pick things up in the aisle, they will be thrown away...

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63. I drank too much last time, so I used chopsticks as chicken claws and ate one and a half.

64. The only difference between me and Superman is that I wear underwear inside.

65. Dad, I’m hungry! I shouted hungry again. Didn’t you eat last year?

66. Let me think about it... Xinjiang, Qaidam, this must be considered outside the third ring road, right?

67. The lock can be opened with a poke of noodles, and a pack of instant noodles can open a small neighborhood.

68. Thank God for giving me the braised pork. When I open my eyes, who took it away from me?

69. Let’s have a steak, don’t put the beef. I love onions, so put more onions.

70. (Holding a piece of jade) Donor, I personally gave it to you! !

71. What is your name? Don't say it! What you say is just a curse!

72. I threw the shot put very far. The coach said that it doesn’t count if people go out!

73. Don’t leave when the show is over. I’ll treat you all to dinner—whoever goes will pay.

74. Are you willing to listen, willing to listen, or willing to listen? I will never force it.

75. This brain kernel is as big as a pine nut. When you open the skull and look at it, you can see that it is a bowl of stew.

76. Marriage is the tomb of love—if there is no house, you can’t even enter the tomb!

77. If a gangster knows martial arts, no one can stop him... If a scientist knows martial arts, no one can stop a gangster!

78. Some people say that traditional cross talk should be abandoned, but this is worth 1,400 big mouths!

79. Life is like Song Zude’s mouth, you never know who will be unlucky next~.

80. Lobster, sea crab, haha! I just love eating them in the shell! Waiter, bring him a plate of melon seeds.

81. Humans from the maternal clan live in caves, while humans from the paternal clan live in high-rise buildings - this is genital worship!

82. Ha! He was snarky with me! You think I don’t dare to stew you. If our family had a pot, I would have stewed you long ago.

83. With the advancement of society, women are the strong ones in life; with the development of science and technology, men are the weak ones in bed!

84. When we come to Paradise, the buildings here are beautiful and there are signs on both sides: stalls are strictly prohibited within 100 meters to the left and right of Paradise!

85. Today’s mobile phones are so advanced, with color screens, clamshells, sliders, some that can make calls, some that can’t.

86. During the performance, the audience placed flower baskets on the actors one by one. I didn’t even have a wreath.

87. When we are tired from walking, he sits here, and the dog sits here, with one side high, and everyone who comes over wonders: Whose twins are these?

88. When charging, the bank said: This is in line with international practice! When serving, he said: China’s national conditions must be considered!

89. Teacher Yu Qian, he is good at cross talk and... he is also generous. We all call him the queen of cross talk.

90. Teacher Yu’s family has been rich for generations. His great-grandfather was once a second-rank guard with scissors in the former Qing Palace.

91. Someone also scolded me: Guo Degang’s cross talk was tasteless and irregular. You must follow the rules and watch the national flag being raised.

92. If you want to eat a hamburger, wrap it with a piece of paper and uncover it; if you want to eat crab, uncover it; if you want to drink milk, put a piece of paper on the bun.

93. Beef Noodles and Rice Noodles. We are here for a day. What should we eat? This, the Japanese pointed with their hands: cow poop!

94. Revenge for the days of poverty! Buy a jacket with a lining, and put coins in when you get on the bus. It’s not a bargain to deposit a bicycle...

95. Some audience friends in Tianjin said: someone who is over 50 is an artist. Your Tang Dynasty chamber pot also held urine! !

96. Mr. Wang, you are very knowledgeable. You are better than a college student, better than a master, better than a doctor, and better than an academician. You are a martyr.

97. I will buy 50 good cars - Alto, Alto, Alto...! Use wire darts to rise and drive like a train!

98. Withered vines and old trees, dim crows, small bridges and flowing water. The old road has a westerly wind and a thin horse, the sun sets in the west, and a heartbroken man... is in the hospital.

99. We are not masters, nor are we scum, as our colleagues scold us, etc. We are all talking in front of the mirror.

100. For our programs in previous competitions and Spring Festival Gala, if we get them to theaters and sell tickets, we won’t even have enough electricity money.