Making friends is the process by which people make friends with others in order to get rid of their single life. The type of friendship can be a girlfriend, a boyfriend, or just a friend. It mainly includes one party's trust in the other party, and giving trust to the other party, allowing the other party to interact with itself, including interactive friendship.

[Edit this paragraph] Definition of the word

1. Friends. "Shang Jun Shu Ban Envoy": "Therefore, when the rule of law comes, husbands and wives cannot abandon each other and cover up their faults without harming their relatives, and people cannot hide from each other." "Sui Shu·Yuanheng Biography": "In the tenth year of Heng's year 2. When Emperor Wei Gong was in the Chu Palace, he made friends with him. "Volume 8 of Zhang Shinan of the Song Dynasty: "Huang Gongzhu, named Zihou, was from Fusha Pucheng and made friends with Zhu Wengong." 2. Make friends with him. "Book of Rites·Confucianism": "He acts in his own way and establishes righteousness, advances in the same way, retreats in the opposite direction, and he makes friends like this." "Book of the Later Han Dynasty·Zhong Changtong Zhuan": "More than 20 years old, he studied in Qing, Xu, and There are many differences between Bing and Ji." Volume 2 of Qing Nalan Xingde's "Lushui Pavilion Miscellaneous Knowledge": "If you can't trust your friends, you will be unfaithful when you make friends."

Tao

Including one party's trust in the other party, giving trust to the other party, allowing the other party to associate with itself, and including interactive friendship. Dating is often synonymous with marriage and love, so matchmaking agencies such as "Qingyuan Tianxia" are often classified into the dating category. As the saying goes: "Those who are close to vermillion are red, and those who are close to ink are black." This shows that friends have a great influence on us, so we must understand what is a beneficial friend and what is a harmful friend. Real good friends can advise and strengthen each other. "Rely on your parents at home, and rely on your friends when you go out." In addition to family members, friends are an indispensable part of the interpersonal relationship in our lives, and many things can only be solved by relying on close friends. What are the "ways to make friends"? How do you get friends who are truly worth dating? A good friend is a book that can open up all your worlds. When it comes to making friends, there are three beneficial friends: friends who are straightforward, friends who are understanding, and friends who are knowledgeable. There are three kinds of friends that are harmful to the person: friends are easy to make, friends are soft, and friends are sycophants. Youzhi: Zhi means integrity. This kind of friend is sincere, magnanimous, upright, and has a bright personality without any hint of flattery. His personality can affect your personality. He can give you courage when you are timid and decisive when you are hesitant. Youliang: Youliang's "Shuowen Jiezi" says: "Forgiveness means trust." Trust means honesty. This kind of friend is sincere and not hypocritical. Associating with such friends makes us feel at ease and stable in our hearts, and our spirit can be purified and sublimated. Friends who are knowledgeable: This kind of friend is knowledgeable and knowledgeable. In today’s terms, he or she has a broad range of knowledge. In the pre-Qin era when Confucius lived, we did not have computers, the Internet, such advanced information, and various forms of media like we do today. What should people at that time do if they wanted to broadcast TV and audio? The simplest way is to make a good friend who is well-informed and let the books he reads turn those indirect experiences into your direct experience. When you feel hesitant and difficult to make a decision on some issues, you might as well go to a friend. Maybe his extensive knowledge can help you make a choice. Making a knowledgeable friend is like having a thick encyclopedia dictionary. We can always get useful lessons from his experience. The three beneficial friends in The Analects are upright friends, honest friends, and knowledgeable friends. "He who loses three friends", what kind of people are they? Confucius said that there are three kinds of bad friends, namely those who are friendly when you are friendly, those who are friendly when you are soft, and those who are friendly when you are sycophantic. These three are "destructive" and must not be made. Friendly friends: This kind of friend refers to a person who likes to flatter and flatter others. We often meet such people in life. Whatever you say, he will say "that's wonderful"; whatever you do, he will say "that's great". He will never say "no" to you. Instead, he will follow your thoughts and words, praise you and praise you. This kind of person is particularly good at observing words and emotions, adapting to the situation, and carefully understanding your mood to avoid going against your will. "Friendly" is exactly the opposite of "Friendly". This kind of person has no integrity and no principles of right and wrong. Their principle is to make you happy in order to benefit from it. Do you still remember the traitorous minister He Shen in the TV series "Iron Teeth and Bronze Teeth Ji Xiaolan"? He flattered Emperor Qianlong in every possible way, flattered him, and did almost anything. This is a typical "convenient" person. Confucius said, it is too harmful to make friends with such people! Why? You will feel particularly comfortable and happy when you make friends with this kind of person, just like Emperor Qianlong in the TV series. Even though he knew that He Shen was corrupt and perverted, he still couldn't do without him. However, if you listen to too many good words and feel comfortable being flattered, your mind will become dizzy, your ego will become malignantly inflated, you will be blindly arrogant, arrogant, and lose the basic ability to reflect on yourself, which is not far from causing disaster. This kind of friend is a chronic poison to the soul. Friendly and soft: This kind of person is a typical "two-faced" person. In front of you, they will always be kind and cheerful, complimenting you and flattering you, which is what Confucius said is "smart words and tricks". However, behind the scenes, rumors and malicious slander will be spread.

We often hear complaints like this: This friend of mine looks so kind, speaks so gently, and behaves so considerately. I treat him as my closest friend, help him sincerely, and share my heart with him. Inner secrets. However, he went behind my back and took advantage of my trust in him for his own personal gain. He also spread rumors about me, spread my privacy, and ruined my personality. When I questioned him face to face, he would deny it and pretend to be a good guy who had been wronged. Such people are hypocritical and hypocritical, which is exactly the opposite of the honesty and openness that "forgiveness" refers to. They are real villains, people with dark minds. However, such people often put on a kind face. Because he has intentions in his heart, his enthusiasm for people may be dozens of times higher than those who have no intentions. Therefore, if you are accidentally taken advantage of by such a person, you will put shackles on yourself. If you don't pay a heavy price, this friend will not let you go. This is a test of our own vision and our ability to understand people and the world. Friendly people: Bianyi people refer to people who exaggerate and boast, which is what the common people call "people who only know how to talk." This kind of life is full of eloquence. There is nothing he doesn't know and there is no truth he doesn't understand. When he talks, he talks endlessly and with such force that people can't help but believe him. But in fact, apart from a good mouth, there is nothing else. This kind of person is significantly different from the "learned" people mentioned above, that is, they have no real talent and practical learning. A sycophantic person is a person who is eloquent but has an empty belly. Confucius has always been very averse to people who talk softly. A gentleman should talk less and do more. What he values ??most is not what a person says, but what a person does. Of course, in modern society, people's values ????have changed to a certain extent. If people with real talents and knowledge are too clumsy in eloquence and are not good at expressing themselves, they will also bring some obstacles to their career and life. However, if you can only speak words and have no real skills, the harm will be much more terrible than the former. The three loser friends in "The Analects" are the flattering friends, the two-faced friends, and the friends who talk too much. We must never make such friends, otherwise we will pay a heavy price. Benevolence, loving others, truly loving others. Wisdom, wisdom, knowing people, understanding others. To truly make friends, we need both ability and willingness. Willingness means we are kind, and ability means we are wise. The power of true joy in life comes from the heart. There are three principles for making friends: There are three principles for treating a gentleman: speaking before you say something is called impatience (don’t rush to speak); speaking without speaking after you have spoken is called hiding (don’t say nothing); speaking without seeing the color is called blindness ( No expression, don’t close your eyes and talk), too much is not enough. We all hope to live a more efficient life and care more about our friends. Give advice and be good at teaching, stop if it doesn't work, don't humiliate yourself. Good friends never do anything excessive and use a happy heart to help us become magnanimous and happy people. The kind of friend you choose is the kind of lifestyle you choose.

Make friends with virtue

First of all, you must ask yourself what kind of friends you want to make. If you want to make sincere friends, you must show your sincerity and interact with them with morality, loyalty, and compassion. Most of the friends gained in this way can share the joys and sorrows at the most critical moment. As the saying goes, "A friend in need is a friend indeed". A true friend is one who can maintain his original intention of supporting someone in the most difficult time.

Make friends with sincerity

When getting along with friends, we must be intimate, honest, and sincere with each other. It is real when both parties interact with each other with real words and real feelings, put aside the interests and have a brotherly friendship, know and cherish each other, care for each other, and support each other. For example, Tian Guang, a hermit during the Warring States Period, recommended Jing Ke to help Prince Dan of Yan assassinate the King of Qin, but even cut his throat to keep the secret. Tian Guang's loyalty can be described as sincere.

Make friends with knowledge

People who are knowledgeable or have professional knowledge will be favored by friends. Similarly, if you want to make friends with connotation, you must first enrich your own connotation; people who know how to absorb new knowledge at any time can easily open up their intelligence, and will also attract many well-informed people to their side. The relationship between Liu Yuxi and Liu Yuxi is that "there are famous scholars who talk and laugh, and there are no white men in the exchanges. They can tune the plain piano and read the golden scriptures." , moral people, cultivated people, everyone is happy, no matter far or near, everyone will rush to get close to them. People who associate with him will also rely on his self-encouragement and be promoted. This is the so-called "Associate with good friends, enter the room of Zhilan, and if you don't smell their fragrance for a long time, they will melt with them." The Doctrine of the Mean says: "Treat others with sincerity, touch others with virtue, and treat others with kindness. This is the way of being straightforward." Treat friends with sincerity and truth, treat each other with courtesy and respect, get along with each other with calmness, and encourage each other to learn. Taoism is the principle of making friends, so there are four ways to make friends: First, make friends with virtue, and be patient in times of adversity; Second, make friends with sincerity, and show sincerity; Third, make friends with knowledge, and be knowledgeable. Broad; Fourth, make friends with the Tao, and enjoy the Dharma and happiness.

Confucius's way of making friends

First, have similar interests - Confucius said, "There is no one who is inferior to yourself." Second, treat each other sincerely. When making friends, you must be sincere. The so-called "advice and good guidance" --- "stop if you can't, don't humiliate yourself."

Thirdly, when choosing a friend, you must be of a moderate nature, which means that both words and deeds are appropriate - "If you don't have the middle of the road, you will be crazy and arrogant. The arrogant person will be aggressive, and the arrogant person will not do something." --You can do something by not doing anything (choice) Confucius said that in ancient times, there were friends who benefited three times and lost three things. Friends who are straightforward, forgiving, and well-informed are beneficial; friends who are friendly, gentle, and sycophants are disadvantageous. Confucius told us that to make friends, we should make friends who are upright (Youzhi), friends who are open-minded (Youliang), and friends who are knowledgeable (Youduowen). Don’t make friends who are bad-tempered (youbianpi), indecisive (friendly and soft), or have evil intentions (youbianyi). Everyone will encounter different difficulties in the journey of life. At this time, if you make friends Finding good friends will help you a lot. Sometimes a word or a piece of advice from a friend can save you ten years of studying and avoid many detours. Life is like a storm, unpredictable and unpredictable, so people There are always good times and bad things. At this time, at this time, if you have a friend to give you guidance or support, you will turn misfortunes into blessings. If you have troubles and sorrows, finding a friend to talk to will alleviate these troubles. Of course, There are many kinds of friends, including friends with friends, friends with fair meals, and those who meet by chance and don’t understand each other are not friends. There is a saying that a friend in need is a friend indeed. At this time, the authenticity of a friend can be reflected, and those so-called friends will Reveal your original ugly and selfish nature and leave you, and your true friends will ask you if you need help. In real life, many people like to play tricks on their friends and like to take advantage of their friends. They think that friends are not to rely on, but to use. Their mentality makes them selfish and profit-seeking. In some shopping malls Most of the books are about teaching you how to be a scheming person and how to play with your brains. All this leads to deception and intrigue between people in this society. These people have this kind of psychological tendency deep in their hearts. , so they can easily absorb it after seeing this book. They don’t know what the concept of friends is. What's more, they think that as long as they are ruthless, they will be very successful and they will be invulnerable in society. They use ruthlessness as a weapon to protect themselves and hurt others at the same time. They think that only in this way will they stand firm. Invincible position, so I found that many people around us hold a thick black book and thirty-six strategies. They all want to learn how to be shameless. A shameless person is no different from the walking dead. They look at it. All the figures in history have gone from darkness to success, so they want to borrow the wisdom of the figures in history. His words made me think deeply. I think that even if you have all the cruelty and dark character traits, you will not be successful, and you will not be invulnerable. You will only get temporary benefits. Those who win the hearts of the people will win. In the world, no matter how beautiful flowers are, they need green leaves to support them, and life cannot be without friends. Life is wonderful because of friends. Any successful person cannot do without friends. In this information society, Everyone has to study continuously from birth to old age. No matter how high your diploma is, whether you are a college student or a Ph.D., you must continue to learn. All this information comes from friends, and this knowledge also comes from Friends, so friends are valuable, so life is wonderful because of friends. No matter whether they are gangster or white, they all have their friends. There is a saying called Dedao Duozhu. There are many kinds of friends, but if you understand different types of friends, you will treat different types of friends in different ways, instead of using a set of thick and cruel methods to treat you, regardless of good or bad, as mentioned above. Everyone around you. However, there is indeed so much evil and hypocrisy in this society. It is difficult to find a true friend in such a society. The distrust of human nature between people will cause even a few gentlemen to fall in love with each other. Influenced and corroded by this evil society, people today have become narrow-minded, short-sighted, careless, take advantage of everything they see, and feel complacent when they get a little benefit. Nowadays, there are various forms of making friends on the Internet. In the process of making friends, you must be cautious. Making good friends is the happiness of your life. I hope you can find your lifelong confidant in this virtual world. A good friend , when you see the other person's mistakes, you will sincerely point them out, when your friend encounters good things, you will be sincerely happy, and when your friend suffers, you will stay by your friend's side, encourage him, and support him. What are friends? He is the person you always think about; he is the first person you look for when you are in pain; he is the person who does not need to say sorry for disturbing you; he is the person who helps you without saying thank you; he is the person who does not need to change his name when he is promoted step by step. One: Many people who look like friends are not actually friends, and many people who are friends do not appear to be friends. ——This is what Democritus said. Second: He who does not share good luck with others will not be a loyal friend in disaster. ——This is what Aesop said. Third: Real friends don’t talk about friendship. They don’t ask each other for anything for the sake of friendship, but do everything they can for each other. ——This is what Belinsky said. Fourth: Friends also say a lot of good things, so those who are really willing to mention your shortcomings are rare friends. ——This is what Gai Jingtian said.

Fifth: A true friend will be happy for you when you succeed but will not support you; when you encounter misfortune or sadness, he will give you timely support and encouragement; when you have shortcomings and may make mistakes, he will give you timely support and encouragement. Will give you correct criticism and help. ——This is what Gorky said.

[Edit this paragraph] Seven rules for making friends

The most valuable thing about making friends is knowing each other. A true good friend should be a friend in times of adversity, that is, he will lend a hand of friendship at any time when you need it. Therefore, the definition of a friend should be: First, it is difficult to give something - when a friend is in trouble and needs your help, you should try your best even if you have difficulties yourself. Second, it’s hard to do but easy to do—help your friends do something, as long as it’s a good thing, even if it’s not easy, you have to do it. Because friends are supposed to help each other, and being able to "do even the toughest things" proves the strength of friendship. Third, be tolerant and tolerant - when friends get along, sometimes there will inevitably be some misunderstandings, differences in opinions, and even verbal quarrels. At this time, we must tolerate and tolerate each other, and we must especially be tolerant and tolerant. If there is no tolerance and tolerance, no matter how good friends are, they will not be able to stay together for a long time. Fourth, talk about secrets - in addition to helping each other at work, good friends should especially be able to share some of their innermost secrets, such as in life and life. Or financial, emotional, or career secrets can be discussed and shared with friends. Fifth, don't expose each other's faults - a good friend can advise and encourage, but cannot publicize his faults. If you publicize his faults and embarrass him, you are not a good friend. Sixth, be reluctant to let go of suffering - when your friends encounter difficulties, pain, or disasters, you cannot abandon them; you cannot abandon your friends just because they are temporarily depressed. Such snobbish people will also be criticized by your friends in the future. Disdained. Seventh, don’t despise poverty and lowliness - Of course you are happy to be with friends when they are prosperous and wealthy, but you cannot despise them if they are poor, frustrated, or suffering. Being able to be able to be poor and lowly without taking them lightly is the real way to see people in adversity. truth. Therefore, when making friends, the most important thing is to help each other. To help each other, your friends will give back as much as you can give.

[Edit this paragraph] Online dating

Online dating is one of the basic Internet applications that has been widely proposed in the early days of Internet application, such as high-end dating agencies such as "Qingyuan Tianxia" , also known as dating. Most websites rely on online dating functions to gain traffic and increase user stickiness. With the development of more application functions, the service forms of online dating are becoming more and more abundant, and the methods of online dating have become more specific and targeted. CCW Research believes that online dating services have gone through three stages in the past development: The first stage was the services with actual online dating functions provided by instant messaging, portals, forums and community websites in the early days of Internet applications. , during this period, online dating was not clearly proposed, and meeting friends through the Internet was not very popular. Online dating was just an additional function when netizens used Internet services; in the second stage, professional online dating websites entered the lives of netizens. Netizens visit such websites with a clear purpose of making friends. However, the online dating websites of this period did not provide many dating functions. They only provided queries for unknown netizens in the basic membership database. Online dating sites of this period also received a lot of criticism in society due to some unhealthy factors. ; In the third stage, with the improvement of network application technology, the application functions of online dating are becoming more and more abundant. Websites such as instant messaging, portal websites, and professional dating have timely proposed targeted dating service models, such as online dating, business circles, etc. Make friends, enjoy making friends, etc. The scale of online dating in China will exceed 100 million. With the rapid development of Internet users, Chinese online dating users have also grown rapidly. Online dating has become an important part of the Internet life of Chinese netizens. In 2005, the number of people making online friends in China reached 46.3 million, achieving a growth of 41.2%. It is expected that the number will continue to maintain a growth rate of more than 40% in 2006, reaching 65.2 million. By 2008, the number of online friends in China will exceed 100 million. Nowadays, the more popular ones on the Internet include QQ chat and dating, blog dating, forum dating, chat room dating, and professional dating websites.

[Edit this paragraph] Making friends in the same city

With the development of the times, there are more and more ways to make friends. Such as; online dating, mobile dating, instant messaging, website dating, community dating, same-city dating, etc. Among them, the most widespread and recognized one is making friends in the same city. Dating in the same city first originated from the Internet, and what kind of website provides user information. Provide a free self-presentation area for users in different regions and cities to make friends with strangers. There are many forms of expression, such as blogs, spaces, photos, sharing mood diaries, group shopping, and group travel, etc. These behaviors have made making friends in the same city newly popular. With the development of the local dating industry, some high-tech dating methods have also emerged. For example, launched by China Mobile, Fetion Weiyuan is a platform for making friends and interacting based on city map positioning.

[Edit this paragraph] Tips for making friends

1. Be sincerely interested in others; 2. Always give others a knowing smile; 3. Be a good person Listeners, not “speakers”; 4. Talk about things that interest others; 5. Always make the other person feel important; 6. Avoid direct quarrels with the other person; 7. Don’t always seem to be better than others; 8. Be brave and admit it Wrong; 9. Think more about problems from other people's perspectives; 10. Always be sympathetic; 11. Make interactions with each other as interesting as possible; 12. Compete with a positive attitude. This is summarized by the famous American psychologist Dale Carnegie. Tips for making friends with introverts: First, interacting with strangers. Many friends are embarrassed when they meet strangers for the first time. What is the reason? They are embarrassed to speak, for fear of saying something not so nice that will affect others' perception of them. First impression, of course, shyness is also an aspect. So there was nothing to say to each other, and after we finally left, we didn't know anything other than being familiar with each other. So how do you start speaking? What topic should I choose to talk about without looking too...? The answer is: interactive games. For example: ask him/her to do you a small favor that he/she can do; for example: everyone is drinking drinks, you can tell him/her that your drink lid cannot be opened and you need his help, and wait for him/her to finish it for you You can sincerely praise or thank him/her, and remember to be sincere. Maybe you think it's rude to ask others to help you when you first meet them. If you think so, you're wrong. When you want to date him, he is actually looking forward to dating you. The purpose is of course the same as yours. When you ask him/her for help, everyone interacts. When you praise or thank him/her, he/she will feel a sense of accomplishment. The happier a person is, the less defensive he/she will be. There are many ways to interact, such as asking him a question. Second, take your relationship to the next level. Now that you have started talking to a stranger, please look carefully: Under the principle that you feel that he is worthy of further communication. Please keep in mind that it must be worth dating, and you can go one step further and become friends with him. As long as you use every method I teach, there will be absolutely no problem with this one, but you must promise not to tell anyone else first. People, then I will reveal it to you. Please read below in one minute. You must have sworn it, just treat it as if you have done it; in fact, the secret is: reveal some little secrets about you to him; it is that simple and absolutely effective. As for why, you may have figured it out yourself, and - Qian Don't tell anyone. Third, maintain the relationship between good friends. If everyone can reveal secrets to each other, I think you should at least be considered good friends. The relationship between friends needs to be maintained. If it is not done well, it will become another Strangers or enemies, so this stage is really important. And I've made this mistake before. What is most needed at this time, please remember is the most important thing, is - your sincere relationship, and if you are truly dating a friend, you must think about him, and never criticize him in a harsh tone, or make jokes or discriminate against him, because he really He really cares about your opinion, his best friend. You must support him and support him. If he makes a mistake, you must use your heart to persuade and comfort him, because at this time he is already very sad. If you are friends of the opposite sex, you may have unusual feelings. If the gap between you is really too big, then you must not cross the line. Don't try to take her/him into your arms.

You have to understand that for the same thing, the harm done to a best friend is hundreds of times greater than that done to an ordinary person