In Eichmann, hannah arendt recorded the trial of Nazi war criminal adolf eichmann. According to her records, Eichmann and his colleagues used "Amtssprache" to avoid responsibility. "Amtssprache" means "office language" or "executive order". For example, if asked why he took action, he might say, "I have to do this." If asked "why it is necessary to do this", he will answer "the order of the Chief Executive", "company policy" or "legal provisions".
When we act according to the following reasons, we also try to avoid responsibility.
Driven by unknown forces.
Why clean the room?
? Because I have to.
Our personal situation, growth process, self-image, etc.
Why drink?
? Because I'm an alcoholic.
Other people's behavior.
Why should I hit my own child?
? Because he ran into the street.
Orders from superiors.
Why cheat customers?
? Because the boss asked me to do so.
Peer pressure.
Why do you smoke?
? Because all my friends smoke.
Institutional rules, regulations and policies
Why should I suspend you?
? Because you broke the rules, according to the school rules, I have to do this.
Gender role, social role or age role
Why should I do a job I hate?
? Because I am not only a husband, but also a father.
An uncontrollable impulse
Why eat chocolate?
? Because the impulse to eat chocolate conquered me.
We can use responsible language instead of shirking responsibility.
Once, when discussing with parents and teachers about the dangers of shirking responsibility, a lady said angrily, "But there are some things that you really have to do, whether you like it or not! I think there is nothing wrong with telling children what they have to do. " So, I asked her to give an example of what she "had to" do, and she replied with a little disdain: "It's too easy! After I leave here tonight, I want to cook. I hate cooking! I've had enough! But for twenty years, I have to cook every day. Even if I'm tired like a dog sometimes. Because this is what you have to do. " I told her that I was sorry to hear that she had been doing something she hated. I hope nonviolent communication can help her find a solution.
Soon, she found inspiration from her study. As soon as the seminar was over, she told her family that she didn't want to cook any more. Three weeks later, her two sons attended a seminar, which gave us a chance to know what they thought of their mother's decision. The eldest son sighed, "Marshall, I just said to myself,' Thank God! Seeing my puzzled expression, he explained, maybe she can finally stop complaining while eating!
On another occasion, I provided consulting services to teachers in a school district. A teacher said, "I hate ratings." Not only is it useless to do so, but students are also very nervous. But I must evaluate it. Because this is the school district policy. " Before, we just practiced how to express ourselves in a responsible way. I suggest the teacher say, "I choose the rating. Because I want to ... ". She blurted out: "I choose the rating. Because I want to keep my job. " She quickly added, "I don't like to say that. This makes me feel that I have an unshirkable responsibility. " I replied, "So I suggest you express it this way."
The French writer George Bernanos said a word that caught my attention:
"I often think that if one day, the progress of science and technology is finally used to destroy mankind, then it is not atrocities that lead to the demise of mankind. Of course, it can't be said that revenge makes mankind perish ... The reason for the extinction of mankind is that modern people are centered on Nuo Nuo, lack a sense of responsibility, and respectfully obey various orders. The tragedy we have seen and the bigger tragedy we are about to see are not the increase of people who resist and disobey in the world, but the increase of people who obey and obey. "
Once we don't realize that we are our own masters, we become dangerous people.
We can't force others to live according to our expectations. (excerpt)