Couples' methods of educating their children
Parents lead by example. If parents want to educate their children well, they should set an example and let them form good habits. For example, when eating rice, parents should teach their children to be frugal and not waste a grain of rice. First of all, you must make sure to finish all the rice in the bowl, so that even if you don't tell your child, the child will follow after a long time.
You can reprimand the child, but don't punish him. When children make mistakes, parents should not punish them casually, which will cast a shadow over them. Instead, we should persuade first and reprimand first. For example, if a child has a bad temper and throws away a good steamed bread, parents should immediately let the child pick it up, otherwise he will not be allowed to eat it, and tell him to throw steamed bread again and be punished. In this way, children usually consciously pick up steamed bread.
Encourage and praise children more. The child's self-esteem is also very strong, and sometimes an insult can make him feel bad for a long time. On the contrary, encouraging him more will make children full of vitality. For example, children help parents clean the table, and parents will praise their children hard and say, you are great! How diligent! No one is more sensible than XXX. In this way, the child will be very happy and may help mop the floor.
Find some good children to be role models for children. Children are very competitive. When other children do what they want to do, they often do what they want to do. Therefore, when educating children, try to find some diligent and sensible children to be role models. For example, children often stay in bed, and parents can say: I will get up and recite poems before dawn tomorrow. I'm so good that no one can catch up with him. In this way, the children will be inspired and refreshed, and they will compete with Xiao Ming to see who gets up early.
Give rewards in time. Children should be punished for making mistakes, but they should get more rewards for doing well. This can greatly improve children's self-confidence and enthusiasm. For example, if a child gets a perfect score in an exam, or wins a prize in a ship model competition or a piano competition, parents should reward the child with some practical prizes, such as the big plush toys shown in the picture below, so that the child will be proud and more confident in doing things.
Practical methods for couples to educate their children
Use situational method:
Give full play to the flexible advantages of family education, make full use of existing life scenes, educate children naturally and appropriately, feel their own situation, and teach parents Weibo's ideas and methods vividly and affectionately. The key is that parents should seize the opportunity of education.
Self-study introspection method:
Buy or borrow a popular science book suitable for teenagers to read, so that children can read it by themselves and inspire children. It is unwise to block this knowledge, in fact, it can't be blocked. Parents are more worried about the unscientific knowledge that their children get from abnormal channels. Choosing a good book means hiring a good teacher. It's much more scientific for children to read and think by themselves than for us to chatter. Parents should pay attention to two points: first, the choice of books must be appropriate; The second is: no, it must be given to the child in person. It looks as if it was accidentally put on the table, and he will look at it without warning.
New infection methods:
A good novel is a life textbook for students whose outlook on life is forming, and its emotional shock to children is incomparable to that of ordinary parents. Let the children calmly step into the social environment where the novel unfolds, follow the ups and downs of the master's life, taste joy and pain together, and feel beauty and ugliness, good and evil, truth and falsehood with a pure heart. Children will find their lifelong idols in books. Celebrity biographies not only have this educational effect on children, but also are more authentic. This suggestion is best implemented in winter and summer vacations.
Conceptual infiltration method:
For example, watching TV, a girl rashly promised herself to someone, and our family all sighed and talked about it. We can also make up the following story under the assumption that girls politely decline. Another example is reading newspapers, and some cases published in columns such as "Golden Shield" and "Warning Line" can be used as topics for family conversations. In the discussion, we showed the moral concept, values, code of conduct and aesthetic consciousness of adults. This is obviously better than telling children to face life.
Anti-micro duration method:
There is always a process from quantitative change to qualitative change in children's interpersonal communication, from minor change to drastic change, from gradual change to sudden change. Parents should base themselves on prevention, guide education as soon as possible, and do a good job before their children fall into the quagmire of puppy love. So, what are the signs for children beforehand? Absenteeism, late at night: contact with off-campus personnel; Class look trance; High spirits, sudden ecstasy and madness: furtive, whispering: excessive pursuit of dressing up; Suddenly spending money lavishly: suddenly I don't like to talk, my eyes are in a daze: my academic performance has dropped significantly: my diet and daily life are abnormal, and I often look out ... When I find these changes, I must arouse my parents' vigilance. Don't be impatient when you find out. First of all, you should start with care and understanding, eliminate the child's vigilance, and get the child's active cooperation, so as to understand the real situation. Then, it is necessary to discuss countermeasures with the children.
Interest transfer method:
Adolescent children are full of energy and have great activity energy. Parents should not think that they can tie their hearts by studying all day. Every weekend, arrange some fun activities for the whole family to make children look forward to the weekend. For example: spring outing, hiking, cooking competition, family small production exhibition during the Spring Festival, etc. Parents should encourage their children to learn photography, painting, playing the piano, collecting stamps, climbing mountains and swimming. The richness of family activities and the persistence of extracurricular hobbies can divert children's attention and excitement and find a place for their abundant energy.
Target fuzzy method:
Junior high school students' love objects are hazy, often some type of idealized characters or similar characters in life. When parents pull back, they can pull back friendship; Push, you may push puppy love. It is effective to blur and group the objects we appreciate. For example, a mother found that her daughter always talked about a boy in her class when she came home, and she never bothered to talk about this boy with appreciation. The mother found her daughter's love, without criticism, questioning or cynicism. Instead, she met other boys and girls with special skills in this class. Then when mother and daughter chatted, mother naturally talked about these students with special skills. It's not about their specialty, it's about belittling them. The daughter was very angry and said, "She is very nice. You slander her. " Mother said, "You have to observe widely." The daughter's observation targets were cleverly and fuzzily grouped by her mother.
Diary arrangement method:
Allow and support children to keep diaries, ask * * * people to tell true stories, advocate * * * real thoughts, write down their growth footprints, and leave their youth happiness and distress. This is not only a persistent exercise of will, but also a training of writing and expression ability, and it is also a good way to guide children to correctly understand the environment and correctly analyze their own improvement. If children hide their diaries and lock them up, this is a normal psychological reaction. It is not normal for an adolescent to let his teachers, classmates and parents read his diary, which is often full of big talk, empty talk and lies. He may have another purpose. If one day, the diary that has been locked arrives on the table, parents should be careful, and the child may leave a mark. He is testing whether his parents are honest.
Written dialogue method:
Living under the same roof with children, isn't it too pretentious to speak in words? No, written dialogue has special effects; Parents can prevent impulsiveness, recklessness and impatience during the interview, consider sentences rationally, master the educational discretion, and leave their children with a philosophy of life that they repeatedly appreciate, so that they can think and remember in writing. At the same time, written conversation often becomes a supplement and amendment to the interview, and it can also increase the content that is difficult to say in person, which is often needed in adolescent education. For example, a father found a boy, was very angry and impatient, and scolded the child to his face. Afterwards, the father felt that he had gone too far and put too much mental pressure on the child. He was afraid of causing an indelible shadow on the child, so he wrote a letter and put it under the child's pillow. I reviewed my reckless attitude, reduced my child's guilt, and encouraged my child to be an open, honest and interesting person. For another example, many parents use aphorisms, aphorisms and famous sayings of celebrities to educate their children to cherish youth and not to fall in love early. A parent wrote a letter to his child: things in the world often have gains and losses. It is a temporary and necessary loss for middle school students to give up love, and the love lost in middle school will double in adulthood; And if you give up the knowledge and skills that middle school should acquire easily, you will never get them back in your life.
Suggestions for couples to educate their children
First, parents should set an example, do everything well, work hard and be positive.
Second, teach children how to manage themselves.
1. Finish the homework assigned by the teacher on time independently at home, let him check it first, and then the parents will check it.
2. Do your best. If you feel sorry for him, give play to his little "cleverness" and don't let him form the habit of laziness.
3, let him read more extracurricular books, increase his knowledge, and let him understand some principles of being a man.
Third, let children practice in society.
Take him out for a walk every Sunday. Taking the bus can take the initiative to let the old, the weak, the sick and the disabled sit, pick up garbage in public areas, and let him be a good boy who respects the old and loves the young, is polite and pays attention to hygiene.
Fourth, cultivate children's habit of saving.
His pocket money, it is best to have a reward and punishment system, reward for good work, and deduct points for bad work. In this way, he will learn to cherish the hard-earned money of his parents, and his mistakes will naturally decrease.
Parents are like children's teachers and friends. Let him think more about the problems he can't solve. If not, his parents will discuss with him and let him come up with the answer by himself under your prompt, which is a sense of accomplishment for him and we are happy.