The classic saying: "If you don't like it, change it; If you can't change it, get used to it. " . If you can't adapt, you have to avoid it. If you can't even avoid this, you'll have to give up. "
Whether the environment is good, the present situation is good, the job is good, the people are good, and the marriage is good, the four principles of this sentence are basically applicable. Capable people will choose to change and make what they don't like become what they like. Lazy people will choose to adapt, but they are too lazy to clean and enjoy the mess. Cowardly people choose to avoid it, but out of sight, out of mind and out of mind is still annoying. The brave man said, "I give up. Let's finish."
First, change yourself if you can't change the environment.
Although we can't change the world, we should change ourselves and face it with love and wisdom.
Tolstoy said: "There are only two kinds of people in the world: the spectator and the actor. Most people want to change the world, but no one wants to change themselves. " If you want to change the status quo, you must change yourself. If you want to change yourself, you have to change your mind. All achievements begin with ideas, and a series of failures also begin with wrong ideas. To adapt to society and change yourself, you must change yourself.
Plato told his disciples that he could move mountains, so they all asked for advice. Plato said with a smile, very simple. I'll go if the mountain doesn't come. The disciples couldn't help being speechless. There is no art of moving mountains in the world. The only secret of moving mountains is: if the mountains don't come, I'll go. Similarly, people can't change the environment, then change themselves.
Once a person's personality is established, it will remain unchanged and play a role automatically. A person's personality is fundamentally difficult to change, and people can only make limited adjustments within a certain range. We can't go back and change the past. What we can do is to change the future. To change the future, we must change the present. Every change now will have an impact on our future. Life is actually a process of constantly correcting the present and perfecting yourself. Although no one can be perfect in the end, we are all striving for perfection in our hearts.
Second, adaptation is both an acceptance and a challenge.
"Natural selection, survival of the fittest". A person's life is actually a process of constant adaptation.
In the course of our life, the problem of adaptation is ever-present and inevitable. Life can't be as still as water, and the amplitude is not shocking. We will always face all kinds of changes. Life cannot always be smooth sailing and Ma Pingchuan, and we will also encounter failures and setbacks; Life can't be like a water town singing and serenading forever, but we will also encounter bad luck and disaster. When changes occur, when failures and setbacks occur, when bad luck and disasters come, the primary problem we face is: learn to adapt.
Adaptation is an acceptance. Because we are always attached to the comfort of the past and miss the tranquility of the past, when the objective reality changes, we are unwilling to go out of yesterday, face this reality and accept this change. Unwilling to accept is actually unwilling to lose what you once had: an enviable job, a beloved lover, a dependent relative and a well-run career. However, life is not up to you and time is not up to you. If you want to live, you have to accept all kinds of reluctant changes in your life. Acceptance means psychological identification and emotional accommodation; Acceptance is to get rid of "nostalgia" complex, get rid of negative emotions as soon as possible, face the future, get back on your feet and get on the road again.
Adaptation is a challenge. Every adaptation is bound to be a severe self-test and self-challenge, even a heartbreaking integration and a thoroughly remoulding exercise: how to get rid of the sad mood without some intense ideological struggle and psychological adjustment? Challenge is a relentless shot at one's weaknesses and defects, and a comprehensive examination of one's will, character, ability and level. The process of challenge is a process of self-frustration, self-improvement and self-transcendence. After winning a challenge, we have experienced an "adaptation".
Adaptation is also a choice, a struggle, a tempering, a baptism, a baking of phoenix nirvana, and a rolling forging. Therefore, adaptation must be painful and difficult. In life, some people are often timid and unwilling to adapt to various changes, so they are either devastated in the face of bad luck or give up on themselves in the face of setbacks, which casts a shadow over life. In fact, they should understand that adaptation is a topic without choice in life, and active adaptation is better than passive adaptation.
It is in constant adaptation that we have strengthened our will, honed our perseverance, enhanced our self-confidence, cultivated our talents, broadened our horizons, increased our knowledge and enriched our experience, thus growing and maturing. It is also in constant adaptation that we chew the ups and downs, taste all kinds of tastes of life, appreciate the scenery of life and experience the joy of success, thus enriching the connotation and color of life.
Thirdly, avoidance is an art as well as a skill.
China's great men avoided the most sensitive issue of China's surname "She" and "Zi", and put forward the great theory that "development is the last word", which made China rich. Smart couples will avoid the most sensitive problems in "loyal" and "unfaithful" families, leaving enough personal space for each other to make the relationship between husband and wife happy, stable and happy forever; Friends also avoid some of the most sensitive issues, adhere to sincere and intimate attitudes and behaviors, and let the feelings between friends always maintain what kind of happiness, harmony, mystery and sweetness; Smart leaders always avoid conflicts between some of the most sensitive subordinates and insist on "turning a blind eye", so they can finally maintain a natural balance and vitality in their own units; ......
Therefore, learning to avoid is an art and a skill. Whoever can't master it in reality will be confused, tired and unable to live and work. If you understand, your lifestyle, ideas and practices may enter a new realm. Avoiding is not to be an idiot, but to be "hard to be confused." Avoidance is a high realm, and people without it will not avoid it. In fact, it is not easy to avoid it. It's really harder than facing it This will show a person's real skills. People who have no real skills still advise you not to do so. In addition, there is no other learning method that can be avoided, that is, to understand life in bitterness, and understanding will come naturally at a certain time.
The same is true in life, knowing how to avoid is the art of life. People, people and society may be disharmonious at any time. Learn to think for others, retreat from the field, and let the art of avoidance show people's virtue.
Fourth, giving up is a kind of wisdom and a kind of beauty.
Life is a choice, giving up is an art of choice and a compulsory course in life.
Without giving up bravely, there will be no brilliant choice. Instead of struggling, it is better to wave your hand smartly and choose to give up bravely. Goethe said: "The whole mystery of life lies in giving up survival in order to survive."
Giving up is wisdom. "A wise man has foresight before he is born, and he avoids danger before he is born." Only by learning to give up can we become more tolerant and wise. Giving up is not waking up from a nightmare, it is not snowing in June, it is not indecisive, and it is not giving up, but it is a leisurely indifference.
Giving up is a spiritual awakening and a manifestation of wisdom, just like being released into the forest and water. Life is a difficult voyage, and it will never be smooth sailing. When you have to give up, give up decisively. Only by letting go can we go far! Give up before you can pursue anything. People who don't want to give up anything will lose the most precious thing. Giving up fashion is to pursue a more avant-garde maverick; Give up stimulation in pursuit of a richer spiritual feast.
The wise man said: the two evils are lighter, and the two benefits are heavier. Giving up the unspeakable load can untie the shackles of the soul; Only by giving up complaining can we accumulate tireless strength; Only by giving up exquisite sophistry can we have profound thoughts; Only by giving up false pretence can we win sincere friendship.
"don't be happy with things, don't be sad for yourself", "don't look at the flowers in front of the court with shame, and don't look at the clouds outside the window". If this realm is beyond the reach of ordinary people, then we must learn to give up. Giving up is another beauty.
Life is like water! People can only adapt to the environment and change themselves. Only in this way can we overcome more difficulties, more setbacks and realize ourselves; If you can't see your own shortcomings and deficiencies, it's really futile to just complain about the unfavorable environment and pin the hope of changing the situation on changing the environment.
Personal opinion "Everyone should have a few people he likes, that is, good friends. Why do you like to get in touch with them? "
It's easy to hate others, but it's not easy to like others. I summed up these points,
First, no matter who you are, you should keep a little distance from others. This is not to plan ahead, but to give others a space. Don't be together every day
Second, when talking to others, let others talk more, don't just care about your own happiness, deny others' opinions less, and add more affirmation.
Third, pay attention to etiquette when getting along with others. Don't swear.
Generally speaking, in fact, many people in modern society are very annoying, which is nothing more than one reason. They talk too much, brag too much and have no quality.