Yes, you must believe in yourself and don't let others deny you.
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Liking to deny others is a kind of control.
Liu Jiang, Yuping's husband, especially loves to deny others. Yuping wanted to take the title test, but before she signed up, Liu Jiang hit her directly: "I advise you not to take the test." If you have the ability to take care of the baby, I will believe in you. The intermediate title is not what you want to pass. "
Yuping wanted to learn a driver's license, and just came up with an idea. Without thinking, Liu Jiang said, "You still want to take a driver's license. Why don't you go to heaven?" You are almost in the fifth year. Can you learn? The coach doesn't even want to teach you. "
Yuping is not good at cooking. During the epidemic, she learned to steam steamed bread at home. Although she looks a little worse, she tastes good. Unexpectedly, Liu Jiang said rudely, "Look, what did you do?" ? The steamed bread has blossomed, and even a steamed bread can't be steamed. What else can you do? "
Over the years, no matter what Yuping wants to do, Liu Jiang will habitually deny it. The speaker has no intention, but the listener has intention. After talking a lot, Yuping felt that she was often denied and hit, and her heart was very depressed.
Later, the two quarreled, and Yuping couldn't bear it anymore, and directly filed for divorce. Liu Jiang has repeatedly explained that he usually does it for Yuping's good, deep love and responsibility. But Liu Jiang's long-term denial consumed Yuping's enthusiasm for marriage and her love for Liu Jiang.
Such denial is actually a kind of control. Always want to interfere in other people's lives, let others listen to their own ideas, and bind others with their own values.
In fact, people who want to control others often have limited cognitive level and fail to see through the essence of things. They just artificially think that they are "good to him" based on their existing views and ideas. In fact, it is an invasion of other people's lives.
Directly deny the ideas of the parties and impose their own views on him. This is a kind of pain for intruders; It's even more painful for intruders.
The former suffers from "single-mindedness", while the latter goes its own way and is ungrateful; The latter suffers from the pain that others always want to intervene in their own lives, their own affairs, and they can't be the masters themselves. Neither is satisfactory.
02
Destroy a person and let others deny it.
Denying others is a kind of control, and letting others deny it, that is, letting others control your life, is a cowardly and incompetent behavior.
To destroy a person is just to deny him.
I saw a cartoon on the Internet:
There is a mother and son. A mother loves her son very much, but she always likes to deny the child's behavior. The boy wanted to go out to play. She said, "Don't go, other children will bully you." The child had to hide aside and watch other children play eagerly, but he was afraid to go.
The boy's grades are not satisfactory. Instead of encouraging the children, she said, "You are not the material to learn. Study for a few years and come back to farm. "
Later, a relative said to the boy, "study hard, and when you go to college in the future, you can see the outside world and live a better life."
The boy said, "My mother said that I would go home to farm in a few years. Anyway, I am not learning material. "
The mother's denial has penetrated into the child's bone marrow, and the child thus cultivated has no self-confidence.
Because of his mother's denial, he didn't learn to fly high, but his wings had already been cut off and his life was abruptly ruined.
Franklin said: "The biggest reason for a person's failure is that he lacks full confidence in his ability, and even thinks that he is doomed to failure."
A person who is allowed to be denied by others lacks full confidence in his own ability and thinks that he will fail.
Long-term denial makes the denied lose confidence in life, lose spirit in everything, and lead a drunken life all day. "Anyway, I can't do anything in your heart. I just do nothing and wait for you to do it. " After all, you can never go wrong if you don't do one thing.
Such people "died at the age of twenty-five, and were buried at the age of seventy-five."
03
Never let others deny you.
"Gold has no color, and white jade has flaws." Everyone is not perfect, but not completely wrong. People who deny everything about you just don't want you to succeed or be better than him.
For the negation of others, we must strengthen our own ideas, give ourselves more trust, and struggle out of the controlled pain.
After many years of marriage, Yuping also tried to communicate with Liu Jiang. Knowing that she could not change Liu Jiang's mind, she turned a deaf ear to Liu Jiang's denial. You say yours and I'll do mine. What I want to do, I do it with my heart. Go your own way and let others talk.
Psychologist James said: "The most eager need in human nature is the desire for affirmation."
Being affirmed by others is naturally icing on the cake; If you can't get others' affirmation, you should also affirm yourself. Even if the whole world thinks you can't do it, you should have confidence in yourself and have the courage to be yourself.
To refuse to be controlled by others, you must have a strong psychological endurance. Learn to reject others and don't listen to their suggestions. When people say you can't do it, you think you can't.
It doesn't really matter whether your idea is correct or not. The important thing is that you dare to speak your mind and put it into practice.
If you don't leave, you will never know that you can travel all over Qian Shan.
If you don't talk, you'll never know that you can talk to Kan Kan.
Without practice, you never know that you can get the results you want through your efforts.
The denial of others, like the cool summer wind, blows away. The important thing is to be yourself, live for your own ideas, and not be influenced by other people's words and deeds.
Life is alive, no one says human, and no one says human. After that, do what you want. Don't take other people's gossip as your own wisdom. Don't ruin your future in the denial of others.
About the author: Chi likes reading and traveling. There are colorful pens with flowers in my dreams, and I write sentimental articles.