When Uncle Cat recommended the book "Don't Eat Alone" last year, I bought it. I read it briefly but didn't feel that it impressed me very much.

In January 2019, I participated in a private class given by the maverick Mr. Pig, and this book was also given as a gift. Mr. Pig particularly emphasized: "This book is very good, really very good." . ”

I just thought, why do Uncle Cat and Mr. Pig both say it’s very good, but I can’t read that it feels very good?

I think there may be the following three reasons:

01 Cognitive Gap

In the eyes of experts, some history books and popular science books are particularly good to them, but I may You will feel bored. This is because each other's knowledge reserves are different, so two completely different results are obtained. Although they are all reading the same book, what they really see and think about are different.

For example: When a construction expert sees a building, what he sees is the overall structure of the building and the steel structure wrapped in cement. From our point of view, this is just a building.

Therefore, as our experience and knowledge reserves increase, we will feel very different when we read some books repeatedly at different stages of life.

02 Execution Ability

When a master reads a book, he reads it with questions and purposes in mind, so he can pay attention to what he wants. More importantly, after he saw something he found useful, he was able to practice it, and finally found that the methods in the book really worked, so they came to the conclusion that this book was very good.

03 Reading experience

I compared a book I bought with the book given by Mr. Pig. I felt that the quality of the book I bought was inferior. The whole book was very light and the paper was relatively small. Rough, I later felt that maybe the first book gave me a bad reading experience, haha.

Therefore, some things are still worth spending more money to get a better experience. As for what better things will bring to you, you will know by comparing them yourself.

Let’s talk about the book “Don’t Eat Alone”.

This book is mainly divided into 5 parts:

001 Thoughts: This is to help us improve our cognition. Only by recognizing why the circle is important can we really take action. .

002 Skills: This is the author’s decades of experience. By mastering these skills, we are standing on the shoulders of giants.

003 Turn friendship from shallow to deep: The skills section teaches you more about how to break the ice and how to build relationships. This part talks about how to maintain relationships. This is a required course.

004 Connection in the digital age: This part is very consistent with our social interaction in the WeChat era. Once you learn it, you may be able to stand out among the thousands of friends of the other party.

005 If you give, you will be rewarded: Isn’t this our “altruistic” concept? This part involves building a personal brand, and everyone has their own personal brand, and it’s expensive.

After reading this book again, I thought of Fan Deng’s words. In each field, you only need to find 1-2 classic books in the field and treat them as your "serious classics" to read slowly, that's enough.

I think "Don't Eat Alone" may also become a serious book in your social field.

Here are 10 golden quotes from the book:

1. Networks exist because everyone can get what they need. Because everyone tacitly believes that spending time and energy building relationships can benefit themselves. The reason why there are 1% of people at the top of society in the world is because they understand this law.

2. He believes that relationships are like pancakes cut into many pieces. If you eat one piece, you will lose one piece. However, I feel that it is more like a muscle and the more frequently it is used, the stronger it gets.

PS: The former believes that I only have one chance to ask my friends for help, and I want to keep it to myself. Therefore, he hid many personal resources. But the stock will eventually be exhausted.

3. Once some people are unemployed, they often take business cards whenever they see them, and rush to various business meetings and job fairs feverishly. They only start to make friends with people when they need a job or other things. In fact, the most well-connected people start visiting people when they don't need to ask for help.

4. As William James said: "The deepest nature of man is to be admired."

5. Do you want to stand out from the crowd? Being smart about your follow-up after contact can help you stay miles away from people who are struggling to get attention. And the reality is that a lot of people do a poor job of following up. Learning to follow up can help you improve quickly and leave behind 95% of your competitors.

6. Becoming an expert is quite simple: I just did what other experts would do: impart experience, turn experience into words, and discuss with others.

7. The real winners who are successful in their careers, friendly with others, and irresistibly charming are usually willing to speak frankly about their goals and never waste any time or energy pretending to be who they are. There is a charm in being true to yourself. Your uniqueness is your strength.

8. Stop frantically forcing yourself and others to think about how to succeed. Think about how you can make those around you successful.

9. The truth is, those who can step out of their cubicles are extremely valuable. It’s easier for them to find jobs, they get promoted faster, and their network of connections is growing, and they don’t even need to put much thought into it.

10. What you see determines how you change. Just like in real life, I would add to the world of social media: where you focus determines what you see.