Psychological guidance: Freud once said that human conceit has suffered three major blows from science. One is Copernicus's? Heliocentrism? Let us know that the earth is not the center of the universe. The second one is Darwin's? Evolution? Proves that human beings are only one species in the animal kingdom. The third is psychoanalysis, which tells us that even ourselves sometimes can't be our own masters.

1. There is always something we don't know about the world, others and ourselves.

Needless to say, we understand other people's difficulties. Even our own affairs are not easy for us to know. People are often willing to believe that they know why they think, feel and act like this, but psychoanalysis insists that our thinking, feeling and behavior are often unknown and incomprehensible, and they are under the command and control of the subconscious mind.

For example, in a case, parents desperately urged their children to study hard and told them that they would not have a job in the future, which led to children's rebellious mentality, worse study and compulsion. On the surface, parents want their children to be good, but the real idea is that they are afraid that their children will not learn well in the future, be admitted to a good university, lose face and satisfy vanity. Parents are unwilling to bear the anxiety of failure, so by urging their children to study, they shirk this anxiety to their children. This is? Although you love it, it is actually harmful? One of the typical examples.

It is very difficult to understand our inner feelings, because under the requirements of civilization and society, we must abide by certain rules. When our inner thoughts conflict with these rules, we are used to suppressing them, so that we don't even know or admit it later.

A person blushes and feels uncomfortable when he sees the opposite sex. He (she) doesn't know that he (she) has a good impression on the opposite sex.

Women always suspect that their husbands have ulterior motives. Although there is no evidence through observation and experiment, she can't get rid of this idea. In fact, she has a strong admiration for men other than her husband. She accepts and resists the conflict between the two emotions and projects it on her husband.

An obsessive-compulsive disorder patient can't get rid of his guilt about childhood sex games.

Young couples with disharmony in marriage, subconsciously, women always have in-laws and other conditions inferior to their own, and husbands always have a strong sense of inferiority. He subconsciously tried to get rid of his inferiority by conquering his wife. So they always quarrel.

A young girl has a fear of death and can't get rid of it. She is afraid of her own ideas and finds it incredible. She doesn't know that this is a symbolic expression of her desire to escape from the stress in life.

Every professional engaged in psychological counseling and psychotherapy (especially psychoanalytic counselors) has many cases, which fully illustrate this point. Even the psychological counselors themselves sometimes fall into the mud of the subconscious. We must always be on our guard against ourselves. When we have too strong feelings about visitors, such as love, hate and hatred, do we project our past impressions of someone in our lives on the visitors?

Freud once said that human conceit suffered three major blows from science. Was once put forward by Copernicus and Heliocentrism? Let us know that the earth is not the center of the universe. The second time was founded by Darwin? Evolution? It proves that we humans are only a species in the animal kingdom and evolved from lower organisms. The third is psychoanalysis, which tells us that even ourselves sometimes can't be our own masters.

Second, the quality of our inner spiritual life determines our achievements and happiness in life.

Let's talk about motive first. The purpose of life is to pursue both material and spiritual aspects. But everyone has a different understanding of which is the first and which is the most important. But one thing is certain, that is, people's pursuit of material things (except spiritual things, including power and status). ) endless. It is impossible to find happiness in life along this road. Only by putting spiritual pursuit above material and taking the road of continuous improvement and perfection of spirit and morality can we understand the true meaning of life. No matter your fate or success, you will. Is this life worthy of heaven and not worthy of people in the next life? You will live a full and happy life.

Although psychological counseling and psychotherapy are different from ideological and political work devoted to improving people's ideological and moral level, they do not take preaching as their working purpose and method. But it's not that I don't care about people's outlook on life. It is through the words and deeds of psychological counselors that visitors are subtly influenced by a healthy outlook on life. In this regard, psychological counselors play an ultimate role in treatment with their broad love for others.

Freud, the founder of psychoanalysis, said that psychotherapy is? Education of love? That's what it means. I personally prefer to use it? Humanism? Clarify the counselor's professional ethics and attitude towards visitors. No matter what kind of world outlook you hold, as long as you respect life (your own and others'), respect the value of life, and always maintain an interest and modest attitude towards everything in the world, life will be happy.

Throughout one's life, one can't get rid of the conflict between personal desires and social requirements and moral standards. As far as psychoanalytic personality theory is concerned, it is a question of how to keep a balance among ID, ego and superego. Id represents human instinct, ego represents reality, and superego represents our inner conscience and morality. Of these three things, ego is the most difficult. It should properly meet the requirements of the id, accept the strict supervision of the superego, measure the situation in the real world, and then decide what action to take.

The object of psychological counseling is often that there is something wrong with the self, which is not firm enough and broad enough, so that under the action of ID or superego, or a combination of the two, it loses the ability to work and can no longer fully perform its duties. The job of psychological counselors is to help themselves, to strengthen themselves through adjustment, to have initiative and adaptability in the face of various requirements and difficulties, and to choose the most suitable path among various choices in life.

Mental health is the real health. And then what? Sadness is greater than heart death? With the improvement of people's living standards and scientific and cultural quality, people will be more aware of the status and role of spiritual enrichment and mental health in people's happiness.

Third, our attitude towards others is a projection of our own attitude towards ourselves.

China ancient times. Confucius said? Don't do to others what you don't want them to do to you? In that case. But it is not easy to do this, because people often don't know why they often put their ideas. Projection? For others.

Psychological defense mechanism is an important part of psychoanalytic theory, which refers to the measures that each of us has to protect ourselves from excessive psychological harm, and it automatically plays a role in people's subconscious.

? Projection? It is a psychological defense mechanism. Divide? External projection? And then what? Internal projection? Two kinds. ? External projection? It means that when you can't accept a desire, impulse or idea in your heart, you project it on others and think that others also have this desire, impulse or idea. For example, a person is infatuated with other people's wives, but can't accept such an unwarranted lust. In his mind, he changed the reality that a colleague had such an incredible situation and scolded and condemned his colleague. In fact, he is resisting his unacceptable desires through such actions.

If your superego is too strong, it is often impossible to tolerate others. Obviously, he always has a strong desire to attack others, so he (she) always feels that others are attacking him. On the contrary, when a person is kind to colleagues and friends, he or she always gets the same return.

? External projection? What is serious is delusion, which belongs to the category of mental illness. When it is relatively minor, it is easy to form prejudice against others without realizing it. Understand this truth, then when we make emotional judgments about a person, we should always think about whether this is the projection of our inner thoughts, rather than being confused by illusions.

Fourth, only by keeping a proper interpersonal distance can we have and enjoy high-quality interpersonal relationships. No one wants to be an island, and no one wants to be a member of the crowd.

This article is about interacting with people. Including relations with relatives, friends, colleagues, etc. In the interaction with others, each of us will find and adjust ourselves only by taking others as a reference. So, there are two key points. One is that a person can't live alone if he is not mentally ill. Second, keep a proper distance from others and don't lose your independence. If you are at arm's length, you can say that this is the golden mean.

In psychological counseling, it is often found that some young people are distressed because of lack of friends and love, and feel very lonely and lonely, but they don't know how to get rid of this situation.

The reason why I am not good at communicating with people is more because I didn't learn this skill from people around me in my previous life. For example, it is very likely that their parents don't like making friends. They are too introverted and withdrawn, and it is easy to see the competition between people, and there is little or no cooperation between people. Children who grow up in such a family will naturally not learn to be hospitable and make friends. They don't know how to speak when they meet people, and they can't adapt to the differences between others and themselves in personality, way of doing things and living habits. They have a strong rejection of others and are unwilling to accept other people's thoughts and behaviors. In this way, there will be fewer and fewer friends.

This also needs a piece of advice. The attitude towards others is a projection of your own attitude. They are closed, not open to others, and not open to themselves. They also don't admit their weaknesses and shortcomings, try their best to cover up their real thoughts and shortcomings, anesthetize themselves in fantasy and deceive themselves, instead of exercising and growing up in real life.

The advice to such friends is to have the determination to break away from the past, learn the skills of interacting with others again, endure the failure and pain in the learning process, and grow up step by step. If you want others to understand, help and accept yourself, you must first understand and accept others, so that you can integrate into the group as soon as possible.

On the other hand, people should also have proper self-confidence and self-knowledge. On the issue of principle, don't go with the flow or follow the trend. It could be a different person. ? Conformity? This is an important phenomenon in social psychology research. The more independent people are, the more independent they can judge conformity. Follow where you should, not where you shouldn't. Politicians need this quality most. Their firmness comes from their forward-looking judgment of the current situation. They can stand higher and see farther than the average person. Comrade Deng Xiaoping, the chief architect of China's reform and opening up, often exceeds ordinary people's judgment and makes major decisions at every critical moment of reform and opening up. At that time, there were not many people who might agree, but as time went on, the correctness of his decision emerged. Although this is a different category from interpersonal communication, it is still suitable for explaining a person's independent judgment and self-determination.

Great men are often lonely at heart. Therefore, to some extent, being able to withstand loneliness is also a sign of a person's maturity and inner firmness. Loneliness can make people sad, but it also provides a suitable situation for independent thinking. He keeps people away from the hubbub and pays more attention to the spiritual world of themselves and others. Only in this way can we see the world more clearly and deeply.

Fifth, cultivate delicate emotions. Any simple emotion can be violence against yourself and others.

Emotion is a psychological process that originates from the middle and forms from the outside. This is very complicated. Psychologically, no emotion is pure. A variety of feelings often cross, blend, penetrate and transform each other. Make a complex estimate of the feelings of individuals and others to avoid falling into a simplistic view. In Ceng Laoshi's words, emotion should be a pedigree. Not only the two ends, but also the middle part.

Like the feelings of love. When we talk about love and produce love. First of all, there is a kind of excitement or strength that is mobilized inside, eager to be released and guaranteed. It must point to an object. We project this energy to each other, and we expect to lose all our selves in mutual recognition and unity. At this time, we may lose ourselves. The rest may be emptiness and helplessness. At this time, it is hard to say whether our ego is strong or weak. And when we project love to others, we may also have a desire to try to control and dominate each other. ? I love you? What's the subtext behind it? I want to control you. You must belong to me? . Listen to others? I love you? When we are busy, we will undoubtedly feel a strong pressure. This is why love often or easily turns into hate.

When we can subtly grasp and understand a feeling, we no longer treat it simply. Look at a set of words about love created by human beings to know its richness and complexity. Love, affection, envy, love, nostalgia, love, sex, friendship, friendship, attraction, yearning, lovesickness, sadness, pain, regret, etc.

We need to think, recognize, appreciate, understand, accept or change in front of these emotions.

A person without delicate feelings is like a stone statue with only an outline carved, without spirit, luster and life. On the contrary, a person who can generate, feel, understand and properly respond to other people's emotions is a living person, a person full of vigor and vitality, and a charming person.

From this perspective, there is nothing wrong with sentimentality. Of course, feeling is one thing, and what action to take is another.

Sixth, live in the present. In the coordinates of time, there is no past and no future. Living well in the present can not only repair the past, but also achieve a better future.

Some people say that psychoanalysis is a process of mourning. There is also some truth. Because psychoanalysis focuses on? Is the present a representation of the past? . It believes that a person's current mode of thinking, behavior habits, and even mental illness can be found in past trauma.

But the purpose of psychoanalysis is not to immerse a person in the glory or pain of the past forever. It is to lead people to complete the incomplete mourning in the past, bid farewell to past emotions and turn over a new page in life.

Many people think that the wounds of the past have long been forgotten, and the past life has long since become the past. However, they often don't know that the event has passed, and perhaps their emotions have not disappeared. They still cling to recent events or people from time to time, making people unconsciously repeat the drama that has become the past.

Psychoanalysis counseling is to guide people how to distinguish what is the past and what is the present in psychological content. It is in this sense that Freud said: psychoanalysis is a kind of re-education for people.

You will change as long as you work hard. What is the term of psychoanalysis? See the action? . Longing, sadness, guilt, condemnation and regret can't solve the problem. Only by taking action to change yourself and others can we achieve inner peace and happiness. Psychological counseling and therapy encourage everyone who asks for help from it, hoping that everything can change, and it is not too late to change.

Friends, think about these six suggestions to make your spiritual life full of health forever.

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