Article/Fengyuxian ? Time/July 29, 2017

I have to admit that I feel that I can hardly read modern poetry.

When I was a student, if I couldn’t understand something, the teacher would teach us, take us to read it, and analyze it for us. At that time, I seemed to understand it, but I never seemed to understand it.

Now that I am a Chinese teacher, I still don’t seem to be able to read or understand. I am reading it three or five times, I am referring to various materials, and I am paying great attention to it, but it seems that I am always following it. If you don't keep up with the rhythm, you can't always read it. Although saying this may seem like a slap in the face, it is a fact and must be admitted!

—1—

In the beginning, I didn’t know Gu Cheng because of "Far and Near".

In the past, when I was in middle school, there was no library in the school, and there were no books to read at home. On weekdays, most of the things I bought were magazines. At that time, I didn’t seem to know how to buy books. The teacher and Parents have never taught them how to buy books. Therefore, at that time, the probability of hearing Gu Cheng was very slim.

Perhaps it was an accident. When I was accumulating good words, sentences, and famous quotes, I came across the sentence "The night gave me black eyes, but I used them to find light." I liked it after reading it. Excerpted. But, at that time, I didn't really remember Gu Cheng.

Many times, our memory of a person must be based on a certain understanding, especially this kind of poet who is far away from our real life.

—2—

When I got to college, I gradually became able to buy some books. Teachers will recommend reading books after each class, and they will also popularize common sense about buying books in class. As I slowly got in touch with it, I realized that there is a lot of knowledge involved in buying books, and the process of identifying a good book is complicated. But, in order to get a good book, I am willing to do so.

Slowly, Gu Cheng became active in front of his eyes, especially when "Far and Near" appeared in front of his eyes.

As he read it and read it into his heart, he felt so much about Gu Cheng. I have sincere admiration for a person who can describe the mood between "you" and "me" with such simple words. Sometimes, the more I read, the more I feel that the state he depicts is not much at all, not even a bit. Less, just right. Sometimes, while reading, I feel a bit sad, which is different from the loss of "I am in front of you, but you are playing with your mobile phone", and also different from "the farthest distance in the world is not life and death, but me" I'm standing in front of you, but you don't know that I love you." It's the helplessness of the person who once had a close heart, and now you also have me in your eyes, but the me in your eyes is no longer the me before.

—3—

A few days ago, I suddenly wanted to buy "The Complete Works of Gu Cheng", because I had piled up several books before but had not finished them, so I randomly found them for myself. I made an excuse and bought it.

When reading every morning, I read a few songs without deliberately turning to "Far and Near". I don't know why, but it's always like this. Sometimes I don't want to touch the things I particularly like directly, and I want them to be touched. Keep a small distance.

However, when I read Gu Cheng’s other poems, I am always at a loss to understand them, and I am always unsure. However, I still want to read on...

—4—

Last night, I watched "Seeing Words Like Faces" and listened to Gu Cheng's suicide note, for his parents and his sister. Yes, for the child, tears rolled out of his eyes drop by drop and stayed down his cheeks. At that moment, I hoped even more that if I hadn’t seen the words as if they were face-to-face, and without these suicide notes, Gu Cheng would still be the same Gu Cheng, that fairy tale-like beautiful poet, who could still pretend not to care about his sadness and pain. However, once you see it, you see it, his helplessness, his despair, his inability to live, his having to leave, what he finally did, I don’t want to say too much... After listening to him and his wife Xie Ye The letters exchanged between them, and the words in the suicide note, "Things in the world are always changeable," make people sigh.

I don’t want to explore Gu Cheng too much, I just want to read his poems, read the words he left, and retain the original fairy tale beauty!