In fact, you are not that important, and others will not pay attention to you at all.

Most of us have had many embarrassing times since we were young. I always thought that those ugly looks would always be the laughing stock of others. In fact, not many people noticed it, and no one paid attention to it for a long time, except yourself.

These things all point to a psychological phenomenon: spotlight effect, also known as spotlight effect, which shows that we generally overestimate the attention of others, that is, we are so concerned about what impression we have left on others that we tend to think that others are very concerned about us, but this is not the case.

First, the reasons for the spotlight effect

1, we have subjective prejudice when evaluating our own behavior: we look at the world with people as the center and attach great importance to ourselves, so when evaluating our own behavior, it is easy to have prejudice and amplify the severity of our behavior in the eyes of others.

2. The illusion of psychological transparency: In short, people think that their worries and psychological state will be exposed on the surface and seen by others. When others can see their reactions, they can feel their feelings. In fact, except for very obvious features, others will not notice it.

3. Physiological conditioned response formed in the process of human evolution: sensitivity is the instinct of our ancestors, because as long as you make mistakes, you will be expelled. Without the protection of social groups, it means that you can't survive, so it is very important to be recognized and remain sensitive.

Second, the spotlight effect experiment

From 65438 to 0999, the psychology professor of Cornell University published the experiment of "spotlight effect" in a magazine, which proved that people always think that they are the center of everything and the focus of all situations: they asked the subjects to wear a T-shirt with the head of an angry singer and walk into the room of five people. The researchers first asked the subjects wearing T-shirts. How many people do you think have noticed this embarrassing T-shirt? Ask five other people if they have noticed the picture on the T-shirt. The results show that [the student wearing a T-shirt] thinks that more than 50% people have noticed his clothes, but only 1% of the other five people have seen any patterns on the T-shirt. It can be inferred that people care too much about things related to themselves and think that others' eyes are focused on themselves, which is the spotlight effect.

Don't cling to what others think of you, because others only care about what others think of themselves, worry about themselves, and have no time to pay attention to you. Don't take yourself too seriously People don't care about you at all. Everyone is paying attention to themselves. If you don't take yourself too seriously, you will live a relaxed life.