1, in the first act, Niu Geng bought a plane ticket.
Niu Geng: Should I stand or buy a ticket?
Ground crew: All planes need tickets. Thank you. Take your time.
2, the second act of the airport, after the security check, Niu Geng insisted on taking milk on the plane.
Niu Geng: We'll go by train and then by plane. Why not?
Security guard: Sorry, this really can't be taken on the plane. If you want to fly, you can go down and check with a kitchen knife. Or, you can drink it now, sir. Would you please put these things in order and check them quickly? There are still a lot of passengers to go through security in the back, okay? (Niu Geng drank all the milk at once. )
Li: Talent.
3. In the third act, Niu Geng asks around where the platform is with a ticket.
Li Chenggong: Yes, young man, young man, this is the airport, and there is no platform.
Take your boarding pass and ID card. Do you see it? Before you got there, you had passed the security check. The seat number of gate 2B is 13c. Go ahead. Goodbye.
Niu Geng: Brother, how can I get to 2B?
Li Chenggong: First pass the security check, and then you will find 2B. Let's go
In the fourth act, Niu Geng talks with Li Chenggong on the plane and learns that Li Chenggong is also the boss.
Niu Geng: You are the boss too. Which farm are you from?
5. In the fifth act, the plane took off, and Niu Geng, who was flying for the first time, was airsick and depressed.
Niu Geng: You open the window to get some air.
Stewardess: Excuse me, sir. The cabin is fully enclosed.
Niu Geng: Can the plane stop flying in the air?
Li Chenggong: If there is heavy fog and snow, I will cancel my flight.
Niu Geng: If only we had a foggy day.
Announcer: The plane can't land because of the heavy snow at Changsha Airport. Now the plane is ready to return. Please forgive me.
Li Chenggong: A crow's mouth!
In the sixth act, Li Chenggong and Niu Geng meet again on the train, but later they find that their tickets are exactly the same.
Li Chenggong calls his assistant: I can't buy first class. If you let me take a green leather car, I can't stand it. You still have to buy a fake hard seat ticket!
7. In the seventh act, after Li Chenggong and Niu Geng were separated, Li Chenggong took the bus alone and suddenly met the bridge in front of him. He came back and saw Niu Geng again.
Niu Geng: Have you lost your wallet?
Li Chenggong: You must have lost it. Let's leave now.
Niu Geng: Boss, why did you come back?
Li Chenggong: Don't ask.
Niu Geng: Is the road ahead closed?
Li Chenggong: You shut up.
8. In the eighth act, Niu Geng saw a female liar on the ferry.
Niu Geng: Liar! Female liar! Don't run!
Li Chenggong: Can't you wait for the boat to dock and get closer to her? Grab the luggage and chase it.
9. In the ninth act, Niu Geng bought a lottery ticket and won a van.
Niu Geng: Boss, I'll drive! ( )
Li Chenggong: If you drive, we'll never get there!
Niu Geng: OK, don't be nervous. I'll talk to you. I have been driving a tractor for many years. It's okay.
Li Chenggong: Then can you release the handbrake?
Niu Geng fell asleep while driving.
Li Chenggong: Alas! ! Wake up! Wake up! Are you asleep?
Niu Geng: No, I didn't sleep!
Li Chenggong: You snored!
Niu Geng: I didn't hear what you said!
1 1, Act XI Niu Geng and Li Chenggong were trapped by road collapse, and they were suspected to be homosexuals when they checked into the hotel.
Attendant: You two men share a room?
Li Chenggong: Open one.
Niu Geng: Hurry up, I'm sleepy.
Niu Geng and Li Chenggong checked in at the hotel, and Niu Geng talked in his sleep.
Niu Geng: Boss, you should eat some green onions for aphrodisiac.
Li Chenggong: Eat, eat, all the green onions are yours.
Niu Geng: Still eating, what to eat?
Li Chenggong: Yes, eat chicken after eating green onions.
Niu Geng and Li Chenggong are in the same mood.
Li Chenggong: Wake up, wake up! Alas! Wake up, you wake up! Alas! What is wrong with you? Sleep with your clothes on?
Niu Geng: Sleeping naked is very comfortable.
Li Chenggong: Under what conditions do you sleep? Put it on! Put it on!
Because of Niu Geng, Li Chenggong slept outside the room all night.
Niu Geng: Hey! Boss! Why are you sleeping here? I can't see you when I say it. I thought you went to buy steamed bread to eat. When did you sleep here?
Li Chenggong: If you don't sleep naked, grind your teeth, burp or fart, can I go out? What do you do?
Niu Geng: The milkman.
Li Chenggong: Are you sent by God to punish me?
Li Chenggong: You said the plane would come down as soon as it came down. You said the train would stop when it stopped. I finally left you on the bus, but I can turn around and drive back. I found you a demon!
Li Chenggong: You are the only good person in the world, aren't you? There are real feelings in the world, right? I knocked on the door for forty minutes last night. Can't you hear me?
Niu Geng: I heard that.
Li Chenggong: I heard that you won't drive for me?
Niu Geng: I think this is a dream. It was in the dream of eating hot pot. There is a decoration team next door. Boom! Knock on the door. ! It's too noisy. It's you.
15, scene 15 Xu zhēng was raped by a beautiful woman in the hotel.
Beauty: Don't worry. I have a handsome boy hiding in this room, do you know? Handsome, chic and rich, the key is temperament.
Beauty husband: Say something angry, hehe.
Beauty: Don't be shameless! Who told you angry words! Turn on the light for you and show me your dog eyes! Come on, let's go in and have a look! Adulter, adulterer, alas, where is my adulterer? Just now, I was lying in bed with me. It's gone.
Beauty husband: Where can there be an adulterer? Calm down.
Beauty: In the cupboard, in the cupboard! Adultery! Adultery! It's in the cupboard above! Adultery!
Beauty husband: Generally, I don't climb that high!
Beauty: He is here!
Beauty husband: Don't you think? Honey, don't be angry. Hurry home. Just go home.
Beauty: Yo!
Li Chenggong: I I said I was in the wrong room. Can you believe it?
Niu Geng and Li Chenggong are walking on the mountain road.
Niu Geng: Let me help you with your luggage. Can you hold me for a while?
Li Chenggong: I'll carry you and you carry the luggage. Isn't that still on me?
Niu Geng and Li Chenggong are driving here.
Niu Geng: Boss, do you still hate me?
Li Chenggong: I'm used to it!
Niu Dan and Li Chenggong boarded the ferry. Niu Dan took the initiative to find a topic and apologized for not letting Li Chenggong sleep well at the hotel for one night.
Niu Geng: Boss, look how yellow the Yellow River is.
Li Chenggong: Brother, this is the Yangtze River!