Reading Notes on "The Psychology of Procrastination"

I hope this book can make you more accepting of yourself and let you control your own choices, gains and losses. We hope that our readers will have a tolerant and optimistic attitude towards their lives and accept their strengths and weaknesses.

Part 1 Procrastination vs Behavior

Chapter 1 Questioning Procrastination: Is it a hateful bad habit or a deserved retribution

Procrastination originates from Latin , but there are two words in Egypt that can both be translated as procrastination. One refers to procrastination as a useful habit that can avoid unnecessary work and energy sacrifice due to impulse, thereby achieving the purpose of conserving energy (such as impulse consumption). One refers to procrastination as a harmful habit, a laziness manifested in completing a task that must be completed in order to survive.

Some data: In 2007, according to statistics, 70% of college students have procrastination problems, and 50% of them reported that procrastination has become their habit and believe that this is a problem that needs to be solved. In the general population, chronic procrastination affects 25% of adults. More than 95% of procrastinators want to reduce their procrastination habit because it makes them perform poorly and makes them unsatisfied with their life status, which makes them feel miserable.

Some manifestations of procrastination: Under the constant pressure of upgrades and other assessments, students will postpone writing papers and reviewing for exams, and then resort to rote memorization and cramming when time is running out. . A freelancer can only survive in his trade by being self-aware—but many find it easy to put things off their feet without anyone watching over them. In an increasingly competitive corporate environment, some people not only fail to keep up with the fast pace, but instead slow down their pace. At home, cleaning the basement, cleaning the range hood, etc., who hasn’t been annoyed by the unfinished tasks at home?

Procrastination is not the same as postponing things. Postponing is because we don’t have time to do everything, or because we are restrained in doing things and need a certain amount of relaxation and rest. The difference between the two is The distinction is very important. To find out if procrastination is a problem for you, look to see if it's bothering you.

The consequences of procrastination: The internal consequences are that they must endure the torment of internal emotions, ranging from anger and regret to strong self-condemnation and despair. The external consequences can be big or small, because the delay in work leads to criticism from leaders, the overall work progress slows down, and serious setbacks in work, school, family and interpersonal relationships need to be endured.

Procrastination cycle: This time I want to start early (New Year's resolution) - I have to start immediately - what if I don't start? (I should have started earlier, regretting, blaming myself; I could have done anything but this, doing other things to distract myself and keep procrastinating; I couldn't enjoy anything, trying to use other things to distract myself, but didn't The shadow of completion is always lingering; I hope no one notices, making myself look busy or avoiding) - and time - there is something wrong with me - the final decision: to do or not to do (not to do, I can't stand it) The inner pressure is overwhelming and you run away; why bother, you give up. Do it and fight against the odds. Why didn't I start earlier? Just finish it.) - I will never procrastinate again.

Chapter 2: Procrastination of Interrogation: Fear of Failure on the Judgment Seat

Fear of Failure

Sense of Self-Worth = Ability = Performance

That is, if I perform well, it means I am capable, so I like myself. Procrastination interrupts performance and ability. People use procrastination to comfort themselves. If they perform poorly, they are not trying their best, but their abilities are still excellent.

The pursuit of perfection

There are two types of perfectionists: one is adaptive and the other is maladaptive.

Perfectionistic procrastinators often have too high expectations of themselves and are not realistic enough. Example: A woman who hasn’t exercised in years wants to improve her body shape in two weeks. First-time novel writers want their first manuscript to be ready for publication. Young guys want every phone call to lead to a date. Salespeople want every customer to buy their products and services. Ask yourself: Are you setting standards to make progress, or are you setting standards to set yourself up for frustration and frustration? Perfectionists tend to think in a catastrophic way, exaggerating the consequences of small things to an unimaginable extent.

Chapter 3 Dialogue Procrastination: Hello procrastination Goodbye procrastination

Definition of success: Success is measured by social status, income stability or personal influence; some people also think that success More means gains in relationships between people. Clary Ray, a researcher on the psychology of procrastination, defines success as "following your goals in a timely manner." (You can’t reach a thousand miles without taking small steps)

Fear of success and using procrastination to avoid success: The reasons are:

1. Success requires too much effort, which discourages me.

You will become a workaholic and lose control and choice over your own life;

2. Success is dangerous, and someone will always get hurt

Hurt others with your improvised thesis Got an A, while my friends only got a B on the paper they put a lot of effort into.

I will also be hurt, and I am afraid of being criticized, jealous, and resented by others

3. Success is a forbidden area, and I feel that something is not right with me

I don’t deserve to succeed, “survivor guilt” for escaping from a chronically bad situation while others I care about continue to suffer;

I am destined not to succeed, i.e. severe low self-esteem;

Feeling that you are so perfect that you need a serious flaw to prevent jealousy.

We understand that success may pose some kind of threat to you, and we also know that these threats can be significant. When you make a big change in your life, even if the change is for the better, you will still be worried. This is a natural reaction. To achieve your own success - whether it's going back to college, exercising to lose weight, finding a new job, finding a new relationship or leaving an old relationship, it will inevitably involve changes in life. Changes can make you feel at risk. When something changes in your life, you may encounter an unknown self, an unknown relationship, or an unknown world. But we think it will put you in a better stage of life than what you think is the risk. You can change yourself to adapt to circumstances, and you can change yourself to adapt to success.

Part 2: Procrastination vs. Psychology

Chapter 4: The Struggling Procrastinator: What to do if you become a loser

Procrastination is related to success or failure, and to intelligence. Not relevant.

Those who are very sensitive to control may not like any rules, and they will resist anyone's demands on themselves. For some of them, procrastination becomes a way for them to gain a sense of control. .

How do people around you react to your procrastination: Are they irritated or upset by your delay? Feeling discouraged by your excuses? Are you angry at you for not living up to your promises? Have they finally given up on putting pressure on you and expressed their frustration with you?

Many procrastinators who are sensitive to being controlled grew up in an environment where they were not encouraged to take control of their own lives. These children may have been strictly disciplined since childhood, their personal habits were overly interfered with, they felt violated by others' strong curiosity, they lost self-confidence due to constant criticism, and too many restrictions suppressed their spontaneity and creativity—all of which hinder their path to independence.

Chapter 5 Psychological Comfort Zone: Fear of Closeness and Alienation

Fear of Alienation: Being with others can make people feel more secure, which is usually a It comes from the inner need of anxiety, because you feel that you are insecure and cannot survive in this society alone.

If you need help, you cannot take any action without the help of others; if you strive to become second, what you are looking for is a mentor, a guide, and a captain. In an urgent cry for help, the procrastinator puts himself in a pitiful and desperate situation and lets others do the work for him.

Fear of closeness: relationships will consume them; they have seen tragedies, so they don’t want to repeat them; they are afraid of losing, so they dare not love.

Chapter 6 Procrastination Clock: Do you know what time it is?

Time has objective time and subjective time. When there is a serious conflict between subjective time and objective time, procrastination occurs. The subjective sense of time is different among different personalities and different cultural backgrounds. Departing at 9 o'clock, impatient people start preparing at 8:45 and leave at 8:55; while slow people may start preparing at 9:05. In France, Spain, and Italy, being late is tolerated, whereas in the United States, being late is rude.

The evolution of subjective sense of time: During the period of infants, toddlers, children, and teenagers, the subjective sense of time becomes faster and faster. In youth and middle age, the subjective sense of time reaches its fastest speed. In old age, the sense of time slows down again. Gradually slow down. Procrastinators often have a perception of time that is inconsistent with their stage of life. For example, adult procrastinators still have an adolescent perception of time, and adolescents are indifferent to the passage of time.

Part 3 Procrastination vs. Brain

Chapter 7 Is there a "procrastination gene" in the world?

The brain can inspire new and flexible behaviors and can also be strengthened Old stubborn behavior, that is, mental inertia.

What procrastination attempts to avoid is not a certain task, but a certain feeling caused by a certain task. Consciousness is just a very limited part of the brain. Many times, you are not aware of the feeling that forces you to avoid something, but your body has already responded.

Because: 1. Once the brain establishes a connection between a stimulus and a feeling of danger or fear, this connection cannot be eliminated. 2 The channels in the brain responsible for transmitting fear are very powerful.

All procrastination is related to childhood and the status of parents.

Chapter 8 How to build the brain’s global leadership

Physical conditions related to procrastination: executive dysfunction, attention deficit disorder (the root of which is that a person has no inhibitions), Depression, anxiety (obsessive-compulsive disorder, hoarding), stress, biorhythm disorders, sleep debt.

Common characteristics of depression: When you are depressed, you will feel a lack of energy, are unwilling to participate, lose interest, have no goals, and are no longer optimistic. Winter laziness and lethargy are seasonal affective disorder, which is also a type of depression. Shortening of daylight hours and reduced light are the main reasons. (Humans are photosensitive animals and cannot sleep when the light is strong)

Chapter 9 How did you become a procrastinator

Shyness is a kind of fear and fear of novel things. Temperamental traits associated with withdrawal. If parents care for their children's shyness and provide them with safe psychological support and loving support as they explore the world, then these children will gradually overcome their shyness over time and become more enthusiastically involved. In worldly affairs. Children who are not cared for by their parents will continue to extend this shy and anxious psychology into their future lives. If your innate characteristics are not well coordinated with the way you are treated, it will be difficult to build solid self-confidence for yourself, and lack of self-confidence is a major factor in procrastination.

Examples of success and failure that will influence your procrastination. For example: You may be trying your best to be the most successful among them. Does this set some unattainable standards for yourself? Or, you may decide that you will never be as successful as them, so you give up on yourself. Or, you may have made up your mind to never follow a bad example at all costs, so you did everything you could to avoid making the same mistakes, but you lost your true direction.

Family tendencies: Pressure, doubt (withdrawal: Mathematics is a girl’s weakness, so you give up even trying and rebellious: Let them know how wrong they are, so you put a lot of pressure on yourself , falling into the trap of perfectionism), control (parents can decide everything for their children—what to do, what to wear, how to act, who to make friends with, etc.), and they want their children to implement their so-called suggestions without question. Parents often Instead of realizing that they are controlling their children, they feel that they are protecting their children or using their own wisdom in life to prevent their children from making mistakes. Some parents feel that they have the right to control their children. And they are shying away from things they need to do independently. These family tendencies can affect children's self-esteem.

Chapter 10: A forensic investigation of procrastination behavior patterns

The benefits of procrastination: it protects you from realizing the less pleasant aspects of yourself and helps you avoid them Inner worries and fears.

Disadvantages: You suppress your ambition in work and studies; you dare not take risks and are afraid of entering a new environment; you cannot express your thoughts and emotions naturally; you follow your own expectations of yourself Act with awareness of your limitations; you disappoint those you love, or even anger others. You also pay the price of negative emotions—anxiety, resentment, a sense of deception, disappointment, and self-confidence.

End the threat of procrastination: My self-delusion may collapse (What if I try my best and end up being mediocre?) Things never get done (I'll become a workaholic) My relationships may change, and not for the better (I'll lose friends if I'm too high) I'll lose control of my life (I'll have to learn new things things, I have become a new person again, I would rather be an expert) Life will seem boring (I will lose the excitement and stimulation brought by "time crunch") I have to take full responsibility for myself (I will no longer be able to do it for myself) Blaming others or blaming circumstances for things I did or didn’t do. No one helped me at the last moment. It was all on my own.) Stop procrastinating. Do I deserve it?

Face it: Biological reality is that each person has a unique trait. If you accept that your brain is weak in certain areas, you can start to compensate for it, and you won't have to resent yourself. You can improve this situation by paying more attention and continuing to exercise. In this way, over time, your brain will establish new neural connections, thereby strengthening your weak areas. Emotional reality, if you spend a lot of time and energy avoiding certain things, then you are probably also avoiding certain uncomfortable emotions related to those things. Opinion: Many people believe that feeling unwell is a great reason to procrastinate, but thinking that you can only take action when you feel comfortable is also a very limiting idea. This is a version of perfectionism, the belief that you can only take action when your emotions are just right. If everyone waited for the right feeling before taking action, there would be no such thing as adventure, because in adventure there is always some anxiety about the unknown. Even if your anxiety about an issue is overwhelming, we encourage you to give it close attention rather than wishing it away.

Part 4: Procrastination vs. Battle of Conquest

Hagro uses a four-stage model to illustrate the different mental processes at different stages when change occurs.

Stage 1: Unconscious inaction or pre-alteration, this is a stage of neglect or denial where we don’t allow ourselves to notice how much harm it will do to us if we don’t do what we should be doing.

The second stage: Consciousness without action or awakening. This is when we realize how much we will pay if we don’t do what we should do.

The third stage: conscious action or determination to change. At this stage we are committed to completing those things that we are aware of and should do.

The fourth stage: Unconscious action, what we think we should do has become a habit, and we can do it without any effort or even thinking (you can wash your face and brush your teeth when you wake up in the morning with your eyes closed).

Have a growth mindset: At first, you can expect to make small improvements and changes. For a fixed mindset, only taking a step forward is considered a sign of success, while failure to take a step forward is considered a sign of failure. For a growth mindset, every step, whether progress or regression, is a good opportunity to learn.

Find out the factors that lead to procrastination: lack of confidence in the ability required for success; aversion to completing a task, believing that there will be many difficulties in the process and the ending will be tragic; Goals and rewards are too far away to feel meaningful to me; unable to discipline myself, such as being easily impulsive and distracted.

How to use these techniques:

Try one technique at a time

Take your time

Observe your inner resistance. These techniques only work if you take action to actually apply them, and that's what procrastinators have the hardest time doing, putting into practice what they know intellectually.

Use notes or diaries

Write freely and write down your thoughts in a limited time without pausing, judging, or modifying. Dig into your fears, understand your inner resistance, find out your values, and examine your reactions to change. Freewriting works because through it you can bypass the judgment of your inner prosecutor on your thoughts. It allows your brain to develop a chain of interconnected thoughts that you usually don't realize you have until you start freewriting (remember, 80% of brain activity occurs outside of your awareness) .

Consider psychotherapy, trust in strangers, and complain.

Chapter 11 Prequel to Operation: Procrastination Inventory

Consequences of procrastination: External consequences: loss of money, job loss, performance decline, loss of opportunities, conflicts with bosses and colleagues , reduced job responsibilities, reduced credibility, etc.; internal consequences: self-blame, anxiety, inability to concentrate, inability to enjoy other activities, tension, physical pain, panic, depression, insomnia and other sleep problems, etc.

Take stock of the areas in which you procrastinate: Usually we procrastinate in one or some areas and do not procrastinate in other areas

Housework, work, studies, personal care, social interaction, and finance Areas

Think carefully, where is the most critical difference between the things you put off and the things you do on time? Do you put off small chores or the things that matter most to you? Do you procrastinate doing things for yourself or do you procrastinate doing things for others? Is the item you're procrastinating about an area you're good at, or an area you have no experience with? Do you detect any fear or anxiety in procrastinating?

What do you do when you are procrastinating? What differences will there be?

Excuses for procrastination

I have to be fully prepared first

Now I don’t have time to finish it, so there is no point in doing it

What a great day, I feel so wronged by spending time on this matter

I have worked very hard, I deserve a break

I feel It’s not good; I’m tired now; I’m not in the mood

It won’t take much time to do this, I still have a lot of time

I have to sleep, eat, and exercise first< /p>

. . . . . .

Just before you come up with a reason for procrastinating, see if you can discover what happened to motivate you to procrastinate. What are you thinking about before you find a reason to procrastinate? How do you feel? Or what are you doing? What is the surrounding environment like? What touches you? When you realize an excuse, you have the opportunity to think about the problems you have behind the appearance of procrastination, and you will have a better understanding of yourself. When you have a different perspective, you will get different results. Conclusion:

Although the time is not good enough now, I want to try it anyway

I am tired, I want to work for another 15 minutes and then go to bed

Although the result may not be perfect, I can learn a lot from it

I don’t have the right equipment to do this, but is there anything I can do first

< p> I don't have enough time to finish this right now, but I want to do it for another 15 minutes

Things are getting more and more difficult, so I'd better set aside more time to solve them problem.

Chapter 12 Combat Weapons: Clear Goals and Feasible Plans

The goals set by procrastinators are always ambiguous "what do I have to accomplish today"

p>

Actionable target characteristics: observability; specificity and specificity; it can be divided into several small steps; the first step can be completed in five minutes

Observability, It is recommended to choose some things that you will put off completing, and then use a certain behavior to define whether they have been successfully completed. "I want to read the first chapter of a book, and after reading it, I added a note or bookmark at the end of the first chapter";< /p>

One-week experiment

Choose one goal, one goal only, list the steps, take the first step, ask for opinions

Start, imagine your Make progress, maximize your opportunities (choose the right environment), stick to the time limit (Pomodoro), don’t wait until you have the will and feeling to start

Follow up, be careful with your excuses, Focus on one step for a while, and solve the problem (it's raining when you want to run, etc.). The first obstacle, any obstacle, is just an obstacle, not an indictment of your stupidity, incompetence, or uselessness. The best thing to do is to take a break. Or another way, change to indoor exercise, etc.), reward yourself after making some progress (rewards can be most effective after the expected behavior is completed. Reward is a positive incentive, which increases the likelihood that a behavior will be repeated. Possibility. Your brain also helps you repeat successful behaviors. When you achieve a goal, your brain releases dopamine, a feel-good neurotransmitter. Certain patterns of behavior can help you. Leading you to achievement, dopamine connects these neuron networks that form behavioral patterns, which greatly increases the likelihood that you will repeat this behavior in the future. This is the so-called "success attracts success"). Be flexible with your goals (have time to deal with emergencies or other matters), no need to be perfect

Review, evaluate your progress and shortcomings (expose hidden shortcomings, consider what details brought success), observe your Feeling, disappointed because you didn’t succeed? Disappointed by not being perfect? Relaxed because it's done? (People are always busy observing changes in the outside world, for fear of being outed, but they forget that the most important thing to pay attention to is themselves), think back to your choice point (what helped you make up your mind at the choice point, and what made you give up?), What did you learn?

Chapter 13 Combat Method A: Learn how to judge time

Time management consulting is a huge industry. You may have read a lot of literature in this field and also went shopping. Visit the websites of these authors, experts, and coaches. They suggest that you adopt a scheduling system, use to-do lists, set priorities, and make favorable choices. You may discover the wisdom of time management. But you will find that it is very difficult to put these seemingly reasonable suggestions into practice. Why can't you do it?

Procrastinators prefer to stay in a vague realm of potential rather than in a concrete, measurable, or limited time frame. But it’s time to think about timing. Planning ahead is a wise move, but procrastinators may make planning another way to procrastinate, so we suggest you take a moment to think about time.

Planning doesn’t mean occupying yourself every hour of every day. You have to expect the unexpected, and you also need to allow yourself time to enjoy spontaneous activities and Enjoy a relaxing experience that refreshes you

We don’t plan, we do “unplanned”. It is a weekly schedule that lists all the things you must do. Mark those times when you know something will happen and occupy your time. Add all your daily tasks, daily activities and scheduled tasks. (Remember, you are not asked to write down what you should do, but what you will definitely do.)

Those spaces are the time you can use. Take a closer look, what is missing from your life? (Study, fun, or otherwise)

As you work toward your actionable goals or any other project, use an unplanned form to record your progress. When you have worked for half an hour on the assurance of achieving your goal, cross out the corresponding half-square on the form. If you have worked for an hour, cross out one square. Or someone likes to track tasks in different colors.

Use fragmented time, it is very pragmatic, you can easily find 15 minutes, but it is not easy to find the whole time. It makes tasks more bearable, and difficult tasks become unbearable after 15 minutes.

Prevent unexpected interference

Don’t spread your energy too thin. Sign up for 8 courses at once? Learn 3 foreign languages ??at once? Sometimes being too busy itself is procrastination. You use being busy to avoid more important things and make excuses for yourself, "I'm not procrastinating, I'm just too busy to finish everything in time."

Find your best time

Enjoy your free time