Mu Xin said:

It is difficult to get off a tiger, and the tiger is also resentful.

The tiger's expression changes when talking about it, and the tiger is also frightened.

The context in which this was said was in class, when Mu Xin said it to a group of international students in the United States.

Difficult. It's not good to go back, and it's not good not to go back. Even if you are riding a tiger, you cannot get off. The United States is that tiger. So many people came from China and refused to leave, and the Americans were also very resentful.

What is context?

Context is the environment in which a person speaks, the time, place and person of the conversation, as well as the context of the conversation.

"This is a nice dress."

It is conceivable that when we talk like this, we may point to the piece of clothing and nod slightly, and make related exclamations, even if it is just a low "um" sound. This talk is closely related to other gestures, behaviors, entire situations and a certain culture.

Quotations taken out of context and based on hearsay are often far from the author’s original intention.

The internal stance under contextual awareness means that the researcher walks into history and brings all his own subjective factors to perceive, touch, and listen with open ears. Only through such research can a bunch of dead things in the past be brought back to life, full of the smell of human fireworks.

To know famous quotes, you must also know the context.

Let’s look at a case that is often used to teach us not to speak.

Question: How should I deal with someone in the world who slanders me, bullies me, insults me, laughs at me, belittles me, despises me, hates me, or deceives me?

Answer: Just tolerate him, let him, let him, avoid him, be patient with him, respect him, ignore him, and wait for a few more years to see him.

This is a dialogue between the eminent monks Han Shan and Shi De in the Tang Dynasty.

Did you know? After saying this, Monk Shide then recited a long stanza:

The old man wears a mandarin coat and has a full belly with light food; he mends the wounds and keeps out the cold, and everything goes as he pleases. Some people scold him, but he only says yes; some people beat him, and he falls asleep. With tears on his face, he just lets him do what he wants; I save my energy, and he has no worries. This kind of paramita is a wonderful treasure...

If we had a quarrel with Shide, with his eloquence, would we definitely win?

Do you know why people are so calm? Because I have confidence.

Confidence comes from strength.

The confidence to calmly "not speak" comes from the strength of "if you speak, you will definitely speak well".

Why does context matter?

I suffered a big loss and said to myself afterwards:

I was so stupid, I deserved it.

This is OK.

But you just took advantage of me. You can't say to me:

You are so stupid and you deserve this.

The truth is actually very simple: the person who has been insulted and harmed can choose to regard reality as a given situation, lament that the world is cruel, people are sinister, and he is helpless. This is his right, and he has the right to choose to see the problem this way. .

However, people who insult and harm others cannot use the same words to justify their actions, and impose it on the other party, making it the other party's obligation.

How to improve your context awareness?

Confucius used high-context communication. Different people asked the same question and his answers were different.

Zigong ransomed a man from Lu, but refused to accept the compensation after returning. According to the law of Lu, Lu people who are redeemed as slaves abroad can reimburse the ransom.

Confucius said: "What you have adopted is not a good idea. From now on, the people of Lu will no longer redeem their compatriots who have become slaves.

Zilu rescued a man The man who fell into the water thanked him and gave him a cow, which Zilu accepted.

Confucius said: "Now the people of Zilu will be brave enough to save the person who fell into the water." ”

All Confucius’ answers are “one-sided”. He is a traditional Chinese medicine doctor, not a Western medicine doctor. Western medicine has a definition and a standard treatment plan for all diseases. Traditional Chinese medicine is based on differentiation of symptoms and treatment. Each person has a different recipe, and you have to change the recipe every three days, because the person you are three days from now is not the person you were three days ago.

In order to quickly get closer to the other person. If you have a relationship, you have to use the same language as them and quickly integrate into the other person's context.

If we pay enough attention, we will find that the more capable people are, the more open they are and the calmer their tone when speaking, because their ability can already see a thing from more perspectives. Therefore, their emotional ups and downs will not be great.