(a), study hard, improve their own quality, be a role model for children.
Parents should be good at learning.
As the saying goes: teacher, to give students a glass of water, you must have a bucket of water, even tap water. Nowadays, culture and technology are increasingly developed, and knowledge is constantly updated. Even people with high academic qualifications will not keep up with the requirements of the times if they don't continue to study, and their knowledge is aging. Children are very curious about knowledge. They often ask adults some strange questions to get satisfactory answers. If parents can't answer, their prestige in their children's minds will be invisibly reduced. Therefore, parents should be good at learning and make themselves a good teacher for their children, which not only sets a good example for their children, but also protects their enthusiasm for learning and improves themselves. Parents are advised to know the following:
(1) Learn about family education and subscribe to publications such as Family Education in China, Required Reading for Parents, Family Education, and Children's Education. We must make good use of our parents' newspapers. (2) learning scientific knowledge (planting, breeding, repair, management, etc.). (3) Learn legal knowledge. (4) Learning textbook knowledge with children.
2. Parents should improve their own quality.
Parents should improve the following qualities:
(1) Ideological and moral quality. Parents first require themselves to have noble morality, ideals and a positive outlook on life; Have a high sense of responsibility for work; Abide by laws and social ethics in society; Be polite, upright, upright, distinguish right from wrong, open-minded, ready to help others and so on.
(2) the level of cultural and scientific knowledge.
(3) Psychological quality. Psychological quality mainly refers to personality characteristics such as personality, emotion, will and interest. A parents should be cheerful, (be kind, compassionate and amiable to people and maintain normal and stable emotions. For children, parents are the closest people, and parents' emotions are very infectious to children. Some children are stubborn, some are docile, some are impatient, some are sensitive, and so on, all of which are related to parents' emotions. It is very beneficial for children to form healthy emotions from an early age. ) b has patient and meticulous psychological quality. In the implementation of family education, it is often seen that some parents lack patience and care when educating their children. They often scold children and beat and scold them because they can't understand adults' intentions. The voices of "stupid pig" and "idiot" are endless, and children's inferiority complex and rebellious psychology are produced under this educational method. Parents should also have a strong personality. It is necessary for children to have a strong personality and the courage to overcome setbacks. Parents should also have various legitimate interests. Interest here refers to parents' participation in various activities that are beneficial to physical and mental health after work, such as piano, chess, books, paintings, photos, etc. Making family life colorful and full of vitality is not only conducive to mental health, but also to physical health, which is more conducive to cultivating children's positive outlook on life and interpersonal skills. )
(4) the ability to educate children. Family education is a multidisciplinary comprehensive pedagogy, involving a wide range of contents, including psychology, pedagogy, ethics, aesthetics, hygiene, nutrition and so on. For parents, everyone is not required to be an expert in education, but they need to know the law of children's growth and development, otherwise they will do things that violate the law of education and cause adverse effects. For example, some children like to take apart the electric toys or tape recorders at home, which is out of curiosity. Parents who understand this feature will correctly guide and stimulate their children's curiosity, cultivate their children's interest in exploring knowledge from an early age, and lay the foundation for their love of learning in the future. And some parents, because they don't understand their children's psychology, often take the form of reprimanding and beating and cursing, which stifles the bud of their children's creative personality. I remember a famous person once said: In your snoring, there is no Edison, no Einstein, no Witt. )
3. Be a role model for children
When children grow up, every move, word and deed of parents have a subtle influence on their character and moral development. Family is the cradle of human life and the earliest and most important educational institution. Parents are children's first teachers and the first and most powerful shapers of personality growth. Parents should pay attention to their personal words and deeds, and be good examples and guides for their children.
(1) Parents are elegant and generous, and so are their children. Parents' vulgar manners are bound to have a bad influence on their children. It happened at school. For example, a little boy likes to hug and kiss little girls. When the teacher corrected his behavior, the little boy inexplicably said to the teacher, "My father kissed his mother like this." From the behavior of the little boy, we can see that the parents' behavior is too intimate in front of the children regardless of the occasion, and the result is imitated by the children. (2) Parents can consciously abide by social morality and maintain public health. After eating fruits and vegetables, put the peels in a sanitary box, and children will also develop this habit of maintaining public health. And some adults spit and throw dirt everywhere, and so do children. Parents honor their parents, and children will honor their parents.
(2) Renew the concept of success, clarify the training objectives, and let the children develop in an all-round way.
1, update the concept of success
What is success? What kind of people should we train our children to be? This is a concern of every parent. The answer is: when I grow up, I can make contributions to society and become a person who can stand on my own feet and make a difference. We should train our children to make contributions to society when they grow up and become people who can stand on their own feet and make a difference. Contribution determines the degree of success.
2, clear training objectives
We hope that the higher the degree of success, the better. But we should set specific goals according to the characteristics of children. The goal should be moderate and constantly adjusted. We should set both short-term and long-term goals. First, strive to achieve short-term goals.
At present, parents expect too much from their children and always want them to get the first place in the exam. I want my children to be outstanding. Because of this expectation, parents live very tired and children are even more tired. Many parents designed a brilliant road for their children before their birth, attending key kindergartens, key primary schools, key middle schools and famous universities, and studying abroad until they became famous. After the child was born, parents began to run around in various classes. They sometimes let their children learn piano and electronic organ, sometimes let their children learn painting, and sometimes let their children learn calligraphy ... Some parents regard their children as private property, and their children are proud of their ancestors. In order to achieve this goal, they may be stimulated by materials or educated with sticks, so that young children can hope to retire like their grandparents, so that they can stop studying. Knowing what children can do and letting them study hard are the basic conditions for building children's self-confidence. Some parents let their children go to school in the morning and let them learn textbook knowledge in advance. We should understand the truth that "we will lose our future if we are eager for success". Understand your child's "ability" and "inability" with love, don't force your child to undertake too much study in advance, and let your child have a carefree reserve of his basic ability, so as to meet all the challenges of growth easily and happily.
? Psychological research shows that moderate expectations can lead to children's healthy growth and normal development, while excessive expectations are not conducive to children's growth and even lead to tragedy. A worker surnamed Hu in Nanjing kicked his three-year-old son to death because he couldn't recite Tang poetry. Children sometimes hurt their fingers to avoid practicing the piano. These lessons should arouse parents' deep thinking. Parents should renew their concept of success. Everyone's innate quality and acquired influence are different. Some people are suitable to develop in high-tech fields, while others are suitable to play their own characteristics in ordinary jobs. Parents should adapt to the needs of society and design a practical future for their children according to their own conditions. As the old saying goes: seventy-two lines, each doing its own thing. Even in the ordinary service industry, we can still cultivate skilled craftsmen with extraordinary hands. (such as famous chefs in the catering industry; A famous teacher in the beauty and hairdressing industry; Senior fashion designers in the clothing industry are not necessarily from famous universities, but are often self-taught.
3. Make children develop in an all-round way. All-round development refers to the all-round and harmonious development of morality, intelligence, physique and beauty. Don't just pay attention to children's academic performance, but also pay attention to the cultivation of children's good moral character. Pay attention to filial piety education for parents and let children know what is beautiful and what is ugly. Have a healthy body and let children take part in labor. Only when the five educations are integrated can children become talents.
(3) Establish a good family, cultivate good habits and form a harmonious atmosphere.
Family is a basically fixed place for people to live, and most of their life is spent in the family. Children can't live without families. First of all, parents should create a good living environment for their children.
1, the bedroom layout is neat and harmonious, and there are many healthy and inspirational pictures (maps, pictures, famous sayings and aphorisms, etc. ) It should be posted so that children can live in a comfortable, quiet and warm family.
2. Don't impose too many restrictions on children. Some parents emphasize cleanliness and everything is spotless. It is not allowed to play here or sit there, which greatly limits the activities of children. This is not desirable.
3. Actively cultivate children's basic life skills, such as good habits of dealing with people, eating and living, and often arrange leisure activities for the whole family, such as cleaning, sports and traveling together.
? 4, the family should form a relatively fixed life schedule, including rest, eating, entertainment, work, study, etc. Every family member should consciously abide by it. In the long run, it will promote the formation of the concept of time, and lay the foundation for the formation of good conduct in entering schools and society, consciously observing collective discipline, maintaining social order and paying attention to social morality. Although some families have made schedules for their children, parents regard themselves as outsiders, some even play mahjong and drink cards all night, some indulge in watching TV and forget their normal schedules, and some indulge in ballroom music, making it difficult to restrain their children.
5, every member of the family should also pay attention to hygiene habits, such as washing hands before and after meals, changing clothes regularly, not spitting, not littering, always keeping clean and tidy, and cleaning the room on time.
6. Reasonable training for children can cultivate their independent and sound personality. As the saying goes, "sweaty money won't run away, and sweaty children won't fall." It shows that diligent and optimistic children are the pillars of the future society. Modern children live in the richest age in China history. While enjoying material civilization, most children also have many worrying phenomena, such as laziness, waste, arrogance and deep pockets. The reason is mostly caused by parents' excessive doting and protection in childhood.
7. Induce children to know how to be grateful, cherish things, and cultivate caring spirit such as compassion and compassion.
8. Parents should also create a harmonious psychological atmosphere for their children in the family. Family members live in harmony, treat each other as equals, care for each other, trust each other and understand each other, even if conflicts occur, they can be solved smoothly. In the family, let children feel love and respect, and let children grow up in a democratic and harmonious atmosphere. Parents should treat their children as the main members of the family, treat them equally in personality, and don't impose the opinions of adults on their children. Children like to play, so parents should take time to play games with their children and cultivate their independent personality in the games. Games are the focus of children's lives. Smart parents should not say that children can only play, but play with their children with wisdom and creativity, giving them a sense of success at any time and giving them more courage to try new things. Give timely affirmation and encouragement to children's appropriate behavior, and explain the reasons to stop bad behavior, rather than simply being rude. In this way, children regard their parents as big friends, thus making parents more effective in family education.
? 9. Prevent excessive respect. Excessive respect for democracy leads to children's outlook on life being clear from right and wrong, arrogant and conceited, resulting in minor setbacks, namely impetuousness and lack of tolerance. Of course, interpersonal relationships are irreconcilable.
? 10, to prevent yelling. Parents discipline their children. If they are used to using authoritative norms or beating, cursing and scolding to vent their personal emotions, they will have a long-term dislike and distrust of their parents, lack confidence in themselves, be indifferent to the crowd and shrink back. Therefore, parents should give their children a chance to defend themselves. They should not neglect their rights and self-esteem because their children are at fault or behave worse than other children, which will hinder their upward determination. Many misguided children were forced to leave.
? 1 1, prevent nagging and expose shortcomings in public. "You are so stupid!" "You are so bad!" Complaints caused by parents' excessive anxiety will make children painfully infected with "I just can't!" Despair caused by hurt self-esteem will make behavior worse and worse.
12, establish a stable family. Husband and wife should live in harmony and grow old together. When there is a conflict between husband and wife, the interests of the children should be considered first, and divorce should not be rash. After divorce, children are the first victims.
? (4) Support teachers' work, establish teachers' prestige and maintain the consistency of education.
1. Parents should often go to school, call to learn about their children's progress, and listen to teachers' opinions with an open mind.
2. Parents should respect teachers and establish their prestige in front of their children. When you have different opinions about the teacher, you should communicate directly with the teacher and don't show your dissatisfaction in front of the children.
3. Parents should actively support and cooperate with teachers' work and help children complete the tasks assigned by schools and teachers.