As the saying goes: Tea becomes cold because you don’t drink it; people lose it because you don’t hesitate; you don’t know how strong wine is if you don’t drink it; you don’t know how deep it is if you don’t drink it.

In this life, people have to experience too many gatherings and separations, and face the comings and goings of people before they can clearly see who is real and who is fake around them.

Half life has passed, and my heart has become hard, not because I am getting colder and colder as I live, but because I have recognized many realities:

The relationship between people is complicated. , feelings are mutual and long-term is conditional.

No matter who you are with in the rest of your life, you must keep these 7 pieces of advice in mind.

About connections:

If you have no strength, it’s useless to know anyone

What is connections?

There is a line in "Little Joy" that explains it very profoundly:

Network does not mean how many people you know, but how many people know you;

Network It's not about how many business cards you send out, but how many business cards you can receive;

Network is not about how many things you can ask others to do, but how many things others can ask you to do.

When I was young, I always thought that having many friends would lead to many paths, and the bigger the circle, the easier it would be to travel.

I later realized that when your strength and social circle do not match, all your efforts are in vain.

Your strength is how you can obtain resources and connections. If a person is not strong enough, it is useless to know anyone.

Because the essence of social interaction is reciprocity, you have to pay as much as you want to gain.

If you want to join a pack of wolves, you can only become one of them if you become a wolf.

If you want to see further, you must first stand at a high place to experience the infinite scenery.

As long as one lives, one must eventually recognize one reality:

Knowledge does not mean friends, and knowing many people does not mean having a wide network.

Only when resources are equal can value be created. Otherwise, the connections you think will only be a joke.

As a saying goes:

When you are not good enough, don’t spend too much time at social gatherings, but spend more time reading. Improve professional skills.

Don’t chase a horse. Use the time you spend chasing horses to plant grass. When spring comes, there will be a group of horses for you to choose from.

Don’t waste energy on ineffective social interactions. Spend more time improving yourself. When the time comes, your world will be stronger.

About the circle:

A person’s achievement is the average of the five friends around him

There is a saying in psychology The famous "Principle of Means".

The general idea is: Your achievement is the average of the five friends around you.

In other words, the average of the five people you are closest to most is your value.

The kind of circle you enter will determine the kind of life you will have.

The kind of people you associate with will determine the kind of life you will lead.

Walking with outstanding people, he will share the scenery he has seen and the knowledge he has learned with you, bringing you light;

Join hands with positive people, he will Deliver more energy to you, giving you the courage to face the ups and downs of life;

With a reliable person, he will always stand firmly behind you, allowing you to move forward with peace of mind;< /p>

Stay with a kind person, he will show you love and warmth, and you will never lose your way;

Stand side by side with a sincere person, he will bring sincerity and gratitude, and give you Your most real support.

As Jia Pingwa said:

The circle of friends is actually the world of your life, and your struggle for fame and fortune is the history of the good and evil of your friends.

About the human heart:

There is no 100% empathy in the world

When people live to a certain age, they will understand:

No one will To truly understand you, there is no such thing as empathy in the world.

What you think is a thousand arrows piercing the heart is often not painful or itchy in the eyes of others; what you call too painful to live in is just pretentious in the eyes of others.

When you tell people about your pain, 20% of people don't care, and maybe 80% of people are watching your jokes.

I very much agree with the writer Mo Yan’s point of view:

Don’t think that everyone in the world is concerned about your affairs. Do you think that everyone is watching you?

Actually, everyone has their own troubles, and no one cares about yours.

Don’t be like Mrs. Xianglin, who complains to everyone. After a long time, others will become annoyed. If it happens too often, no one will want to hear it.

Speak from the bottom of your heart to the right person. If you complain, just keep it to yourself.

About propriety:

You can afford to offend 90% of the people around you

What is the most comfortable state in interpersonal communication?

This is probably true: no one has to please anyone, and no one is afraid of offending anyone.

You must know that apart from interest exchanges, you can afford to offend 90% of the people around you.

"Qi Pa Shuo" debater Dong Jing once said:

Today you go to work without makeup, and he will say you are ugly; tomorrow if you put on makeup and go to work, he will call you a little goblin.

Don’t try to please the people around you, they are really hard to please.

I deeply agree.

In life, there is no need to put yourself on the fire for the warmth of others.

Any good relationship requires knowing how to keep a sense of proportion. Only in this way can we advance and retreat in a measured way and stay together for a long time.

About distance:

Always keep at least 30% of the mystery to anyone

There are masked people everywhere in life, and Peking opera face-changing is performed every day.

Don’t drag yourself out completely, so as not to leave traces everywhere.

The old saying is very true: When you meet someone, you should only say a few words, but don’t give everything your heart.

To tell anyone the truth is not naive, but stupid.

Life is long, and the most fearful thing is not to meet someone unkind, but to stand in front of everyone without any reservation and to treat everyone with your heart.

After all, you can never know whether every intention is true or false, nor can you determine whether the person is hiding flowers or a blade.

Keep an appropriate distance when getting along with acquaintances. If you get too close, you will hurt others and yourself.

When talking to strangers, keep an appropriate scale. If you talk too much, you will lose something.

30% mystery is not only to protect yourself, but also one of the secrets to a long-lasting relationship.

About the bottom line:

Good people are rewarded, but bad people are not rewarded

I read a novel before, and there was a sentence in the book that impressed me deeply:

Cut a piece of flesh to save a person, and the person will be grateful. But the more we cut, the more people want.

In the end, even if the man is left with only a skeleton, he will not be satisfied.

Being too kind to someone is a kind of sacrifice without a bottom line.

This attitude also determines the extent to which others demand from you, and one day you will lose everything.

You keep lowering the bottom line, and they push forward every inch, but you can only retreat step by step, and finally fall into the bottomless abyss.

If you are so good that you have no reservations, the other person can be so bad that you have no scruples.

Good people are rewarded, but "bad good people" often do not have good results. People who only consider other people's feelings are destined to not feel good.

When walking in the world, don’t spoil those who only know how to take. Don’t feed those who don’t have a grateful heart.

Be kind, but what you need is a kind person who sticks to the bottom line, not a "bad good person" who compromises.

Kindness must be measured, tolerance must be measured, and sincerity must be reserved for those who deserve it.

About favors:

Except for your parents, few people really want you to live well

The darkest part of human nature is: not being nice to the people around you.

Although cruel, it is the reality.

Nobel Prize winner Russell once wrote:

A beggar will not be jealous of a millionaire, but he will certainly be jealous of a beggar with a higher income.

Most people are not jealous of strangers, but they are often jealous of relatives and friends who are close to them.

Some people are depressed not because they have experienced misfortune, but because they feel unhappy when they see the happiness of those around them.

Sometimes, your inadvertent words of showing off can become a thorn in someone else's heart.

One sentence you blurt out to show off will bring endless trouble to yourself.

We have to admit that except for your parents, few people really want you to live well.

Being low-key and calm when interacting with others is a rare wisdom.

Don’t show off your happiness, only by restraining your sharpness can you shine in ordinary days.

The famous psychologist Adler said:

"All people's troubles come from interpersonal relationships."

When people pass fifty, they gradually learn to See through all relationships and look down upon all worries.

Don’t overestimate the feelings between people, and don’t underestimate the inevitable rules of human nature.

Click to watch, stay awake in the bustling world, and gain sincerity from the complex human nature.