What's more, I think asking for a bride price now is "selling my daughter", even if I put it another way, it is pedantic. In today's era, advocating free love and marriage should be completely abolished.
Objectively speaking, the bride price is really unnecessary, but if this marriage custom is to be completely abolished, Yan Fang thinks it is unnecessary. It's not a square face that speaks for the woman. Some truth may be true, but it is not practical and timely. What do you mean? In fact, the present bride price is very flexible. Most people don't really want to "sell their daughters". They want to get rich by getting married or by getting married. These are all prejudices. Who doesn't want his daughter to marry well? Who wants his daughter's life to be happy because of this little Qian Qian?
But why the bride price? This is just the voice of a caring parent. Although the bride price has no special material and interest meaning, it still symbolizes formality and tradition, and it is a small detail that attaches importance to marriage tradition and even marriage. In order to complete the whole wedding process and make a good marriage, there should be a bride price. But as we actually said, it is more or less flexible and can be negotiated and measured. The two sides will come together and talk about a happy result.
There is nothing wrong with wanting to completely cancel the bride price, but it is really unrealistic. You can naturally promote this correct view, but when it comes to getting married, you will still negotiate the bride price step by step and honestly. Why? In fact, this is not a compromise, but some ideas, even if they are right, need time to develop slowly and play a role in promoting the future. It can't be done overnight, nor can it be today. You should understand this truth. When it comes to Tan Wei, he can be regarded as a very stubborn person. He speaks and does things in an orderly way and is not very flexible. Of course, such men actually have a good advantage, that is, they are all honest.
Of course, Tan Wei is no exception. He is honest, but his family is actually a very well-behaved traditional family. Both parents are honest and don't like to talk. In fact, such families generally lack education for their children. Because they are taciturn, timid and indecisive, they seldom discuss things with their parents since childhood. Besides, Tan Wei's parents can't help him. Tan Wei's parents are ordinary office workers. After decades of work, my father became the workshop director. What the family can do for Tan Wei, that is, the down payment on the house, depends entirely on Tan Wei himself. Therefore, Tan Wei is also the person who decides the major events of marriage.
This year, Tan Wei finally talked about marriage with his girlfriend of four years. His girlfriend is also a local, and her family conditions are not much different from those in Tan Wei. Although they talk to themselves, the two families are close and neighbors, so they are familiar and suitable for each other. Originally, Tan Wei thought that the bride price was already out of date and was a legacy of feudalism. Nowadays, young people don't care about this. Wedding doesn't need a bride price. Even if necessary, just talk about feelings, such as blind date. Several buddies in Tan Wei got married on blind date, so they all gave bride price.
There is only one brother, and the family conditions are very bad. The girl who accompanied him all the way later didn't want to marry him for a penny. This guy once showed it off to him, which made him particularly influential.
Therefore, when he first talked with his girlfriend's parents about marriage, when the other party asked for a100000 bride price, he almost jumped up and immediately disagreed, which made his girlfriend's parents and girlfriend very dissatisfied. Actually, Tan is not that difficult. He can't even come up with100000. In fact, his work is ok, and he is diligent and enterprising. His name will be there in the personnel transfer in the first half of next year. Although my parents don't earn much, they are honest people, and they have no bad hobbies. Their only hobby is saving money. Over time, they have saved a lot of money.
It's not that he can't give it, but that he doesn't want to. The house he bought is not going to use the woman's name, and of course she doesn't need to decorate it. He is not prepared to give a bride price, and certainly does not want her to give a dowry. He thinks it makes sense. Marriage is the purest thing. What kind of bride price do you need? Just like selling a daughter. He can't accept it. That's what he thinks. He had a good meal, which was easily mentioned by the woman's parents. He suddenly got up and scolded each other angrily.
"Died early in the morning, now is what era, you also don't see, which people want such a thing as a bride price? It's pedantic. You should reflect on yourself. If you want a bride price, sell your daughter. I don't owe your family. Lulu married me and didn't sell it to our family. I won't give you a bride price anyway. "
When I said this, I was so angry with my girlfriend's father that my face turned purple. My girlfriend is staring at me, too The father and the daughter just wanted to say something to fight back, but Tan Wei's future mother-in-law stopped them. Tan Wei's future mother-in-law is an old teacher. She calmed her father and daughter with her eyes very calmly. Facing Tan Wei, she was calm, without any emotion, and began to follow suit with a smile.
"You're right, the bride price is sold to your daughter. Actually, our family doesn't have to give a bride price. As you said, Lulu married you and lived in your house, not like she couldn't go home in the past.
But have you thought about how we feel? This is our only daughter. As soon as she went out, she was doomed to be different. Tan Wei disagreed: "What's the difference? Don't say that our children will take our family name in the future, and your family will have no future. Whose last name is it? The older generation just cares about these boring things. Even if Lulu lives in our house in the future, it is only a matter of minutes before you go to see it or she is homesick. Don't worry, our family will not treat Lulu badly. "
After listening to Tan Wei's words, her mother-in-law smiled and left a malicious remark. She said generously that she not only didn't want the bride price, but also gave her a double dowry: "Since it's all the same, then in this case, our family doesn't want the bride price. On the premise that you are a son-in-law in my family, I will give you a double dowry. Our family will certainly not treat you badly. We will raise you as our new son. The child was named after our family. What do you think? "
Tan Wei wanted to say something, but he couldn't say a word. Of course, adoption is not enough. For this traditional family, being adopted is a shameful thing, and .....
So what? My mother-in-law continued to help him: "Are you thinking, how wronged and uncomfortable it is to live in someone else's house? How can it be better in your own house?" It's good for you to understand this. You think it's okay for Lulu to change her home, but if you put yourself in her shoes, you will find it completely different. We don't want anything for this bride price, but to be honest, our daughter is far more than this price.
I want this bride price just to see if you can think of our daughter. I think you silly boys are really out of your mind, thinking only of yourself and completely ignoring Lulu's mood. If it weren't for your honesty and heart, her father and I would have taken our daughter away, and we wouldn't waste our breath and time here at all. 100000 bride price, we will all return it and bring the same dowry to our daughter. We will also pay half of the down payment on the house, but we must bring Lulu's name.
You said that material things hurt feelings. The old couple told you that you must talk about material things when you get married. Not now, but after marriage. Can we still talk about them then? I'm afraid the problem will be more difficult then, and you two can't think well.
That's what I'm talking about. Think again, young man. Don't go to extremes. "It's Tan Wei's turn to suppress the red in the face. He was speechless after listening to his future mother-in-law. Tan Wei found that everything he said was from his own point of view, and he never considered the mood of his girlfriend and the woman's family. In the words of his mother-in-law, he gradually understood his mistake and felt even more ashamed. Later, after this episode, Tan Wei admitted her mistake, apologized, made up with her girlfriend, and the wedding went on as scheduled.
The mother-in-law gave Tan Wei a vivid moment, which benefited the young man a lot. This is what he said when he told his friend about it later. "Before talking about marriage, I have always vowed that I will never marry a woman who wants a bride price in the future. I didn't find out until I actually met her. In fact, it is reasonable for her to want a bride price and should be considerate.
As long as the other party's request is reasonable and does not deliberately embarrass you, then you will feel that the bride price is not a scourge, but just an ordinary bride price link. "To say that Tan Wei is also a good boy, the key is honesty. Although a little paranoid, people are still good. If he doesn't have the patience to listen to his mother-in-law, maybe her words are useless and useless at all.
Of course, the woman's family has a good temper. The incident in Tan Wei, no matter how small, was just an episode about marriage, just like what he said, but it was also big. Just talking about the bride price, many lovers will end up in discord, not to mention that he is not willing to pay a penny for such rude remarks from the beginning. If he is in someone else's house, he really won't be given a chance, he will only take advantage of it.
In the final analysis, marriage is no small matter. A little thing affects the whole body, and a small move ruins the whole family. Therefore, every little thing in marriage should be taken seriously and must not be taken lightly. In fact, Tan Wei is right, the bride price should not be given, really should not be given.
But he should also understand that it is ideal to get complete fairness in marriage. In addition to winning the lottery, the bride's family just wants to see if the other party really treats her daughter and has enough ability to bring happiness to her daughter. Of course, a reasonable bride price is what we advocate, while an unreasonable bride price is suspected of "selling a daughter". Please accept the flexibility, whether male or female. The bride price is more important than the marriage itself. If you have business and quantity, don't bite to death and give the other party room to maneuver. This is the "correct posture" for opening the bride price.
People who insist on their own opinions and refuse to do it in one step, whether it is equivalent or not, should not take it. When it comes to marriage, you should know how to care about each other. If you are paranoid and only speak the truth that is beneficial to your own side, then the other side can also importune and the argument will never be clear. That's the truth. Don't always think that you are reasonable. Marriage should be reasonable, but you should be flexible. Only when both sides make concessions and compromise can you get a good marriage. On the contrary, happiness will be farther and farther away from you, and it is a matter of time before happiness is lost.