When I was an undergraduate, I came home on holidays, and my relatives and friends at home asked me at most, "You study psychology, do you know what I'm thinking now?" I replied, "I don't know." At this time, they often say half jokingly, "I don't know what others are thinking when I study psychology." It means that you are not learning well. "I have to explain the definition of psychology over and over again: psychological research is a science that studies psychological phenomena and their laws.
The "mind reading" shown in many movies, books and even some magic tricks we see in the market is mostly exaggerated or the result of some tricks, which often gives viewers and readers a misunderstanding that mind reading is a compulsory course in psychology.
In fact, our thoughts never change. One second I think of a watermelon in my mind, and the next I may want to do something tomorrow. Research shows that our brains generate about 6, thoughts a day, and an average of 1.5 seconds will generate an idea. Many ideas are fleeting, and sometimes we can't even catch them ourselves, let alone others.
so we don't know anything about psychology?
That's not true. Although our thoughts are ever-changing, many psychological phenomena conform to certain laws. Whether we study psychology systematically or just read some books related to psychology, we can learn some rules more or less. For example, in developmental psychology, we will learn a person's development process from birth to death. In studying the contents of the elderly, we will find that when an old man knows that his illness is very serious and can't be cured, although we don't know what the old man is thinking, most old people will follow the following rules in the face of this situation:
Denial: I don't believe that I will be so sick, I don't believe my medical examination form, and I think that the doctor must have made a mistake.
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Anger: At this time, the elderly often lose their temper with doctors and their families. At this time, although they have accepted the fact of their own diseases, they are very angry at the thought that they pay great attention to eating and drinking on weekdays.
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Bargaining: Old people often discuss treatment plans with doctors, and they are willing to bear any way to survive, even if there are serious sequelae.
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Depression: When the old people know that the doctors can't do anything about their illness, they feel desperate.
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Acceptance: In the final stage, the elderly can accept the reality rationally, receive limited treatment, accept the fact that they are running out of time with a more peaceful mind, and make good use of their last days to do more things, including starting to prepare for their own affairs.
This is what we can learn after studying psychology. We can't know what others are thinking, but we can know many rules. We can avoid detours and help people around us better.
It is a very practical social skill to always pay attention to the information conveyed by people's body language. Some people can easily read other people's body language, and it is well known that some people turn a blind eye to it. Fortunately, with a little attention, you can learn to read other people's body language!
1. Please pay attention to the distance that others are close to you
The closer others are to you, the more interested they are in you. The farther away others are, the less attention they actually pay to the current situation or individual. In social situations, if you get a little closer to the person around you, will he move a little farther away from you? This means that he doesn't want to interact with you beyond the current level of privacy. If he doesn't walk away, then approaching you is acceptable. And if his reaction is to get closer to you, then he may really like you or he feels very comfortable around you.
It is worth noting that private space has cultural differences; Remember that what one country thinks is close may be regarded as alienation in another country.
2. Observe the orientation of his head
An excessively tilted head may show sympathy, or a tilted head when smiling may represent frolicking and even coquetry. (Note that people with poor eyesight (such as amblyopia) often look at people with their heads tilted. )
hanging your head may indicate that you have something to hide. Please pay attention to whether others look down at the ground. If someone bows his head after praising him, he may feel shy, ashamed, timid, suspicious, self-conscious or alienated from others. If, after giving an explanation, he bows his head and has no confidence in the correctness of what he said, or he may be meditating.
It should be noted that bowing one's head represents respect in some cultures. Look at people with your head tilted to show that you are confused or provocative, which depends on the movements of your eyes, eyebrows and mouth. Imagine you make a strange noise, and the watchdog will look at you with its head raised.
on the other hand, if someone has a crooked head and smiles at the same time, it means that he really likes you and is talking happily with you.
3. Observe his eyes carefully
Always look at people on both sides who are nervous, lying or distracted. However, if someone takes his eyes off the person he is talking to, squinting may indicate peace of mind or obedience, which is good. Strabismus usually means that the strabismus person is suspicious or untrustworthy.
people who always look down at the floor may be shy or timid inside. People tend to look down at the ground when they are anxious or trying to hide their emotions. People are usually thinking or feeling depressed when staring at the floor in a daze.
Some cultures think that staring into other people's eyes is disrespectful, which can explain why some people deliberately avoid touching your line of sight.
Look at others with dilated pupils to show interest. But remember, many drugs (including alcohol, cocaine, amphetamines, ecstasy, ecstasy, etc.) can cause pupils to dilate. Don't mistake people who drink a few glasses of wine for liking you. Some people's pupils are so big all their lives (this is called mydriasis).
If someone seems to look at the distance, it usually means that they are lost in thought or not listening to someone. (Note: Unfocused eyes may also have binocular vision problems. )
4. See if the other person has unintentionally imitated you
Imitation is the most common action. If someone imitates your movements or expressions, it is a very real signal that the imitator is interested in you and wants to establish a close relationship with you. Walk around and change your posture. If you find someone changing his posture in the same way, he is imitating you.
5. Check his arms
People with crossed arms tend to close themselves to avoid being influenced by society. Although some people crossing their arms is just a habit, this gesture still shows that this person is (a little) reserved, has no confidence in his appearance (that is, he is uneasy and wants to cover it up), or just has something hidden in his shirt. If your arms are crossed and your feet are wide apart (shoulder width), this gesture indicates a tough stance or authority.
If someone rubs his hands together, or touches his body with his hands to relax himself, it means that he is seeking self-comfort, and is likely to think that he will get over it soon.
If someone puts his arm on the back of his neck and head, it means that he is willing to accept the result of the discussion or is usually just tired and wants to relax.
if someone puts their hands on their hips, it may mean waiting, being upset or just being tired.
If someone's hands are close together, if someone seems to look into the distance, it usually means that they are lost in thought or are not listening. (Note: Unfocused eyes may also have binocular vision problems. )
To get to know a person, it is best to get to know their friends first, because friends are a part of their lives. In fact, it is very difficult to get to know a person, which is easier said than done. People often don't talk about their life in front of strangers they think. Everyone is good at hiding a certain part of their personality. Everyone has his own world. When people touch these, They will feel very uncomfortable. In fact, it takes a lifetime to understand a person. It takes a lifetime to interpret it, because they will also explain it to you. It's the same with loving someone. When you meet someone you want to pursue all your life, you will devote your life to her, because loving such a person is not enough. < P > Learn to read and read words. If you get along with them for a long time, you may get to know everything better ... Generally, you are extroverted, naive and have poor self-control. I can accept him, but I don't think of him as a confidant. It depends on your personality.
There are all kinds of people in society, and you will have enough confidence to judge a person after you have experienced more things and met more people. First of all, you should communicate, but the premise is sincerity.
Behavior can best reflect a person's heart.
It is also well-founded to know people from face to face. Appearance and temperament are reflected from the inside out, not faked.
American President Lincoln once said, "A person should be responsible for his appearance when he is forty years old."
A famous makeup artist once profoundly pointed out: "Makeup can change very few facts. The deeper makeup is to change temperament-if a kind-hearted and optimistic person, he can't be ugly without makeup."
This can be used as a footnote to Lincoln's famous saying. Yugu Indians believe that people should spend the time after middle age consciously and thinking to find the deepest fragrance. That is, after forty years old, I will try to see how I temper my heart and change my temperament, so that it can be transformed into the beauty of appearance.
as the ancients said, "The heart thinks, but the face shows." If you have a compassionate and cheerful mind and care for others everywhere, you will naturally have a kind and friendly face, giving people a feeling of spring breeze.
first of all, you need to observe, and the important things are said three times. The observation here means observing words and feelings, and as the name implies, it will not be explained. Let me give you an example.
At school, there was a deskmate. He usually didn't like studying in class, either sleeping or reading extracurricular books. It happened that in one class, his eyes were bright, but he occasionally scratched his head and looked up at the podium every once in a while, because he couldn't attend class and sometimes looked around. Bored to death, I looked up at the podium again. Sometimes I circle the draft.
After careful observation, I imitated these behaviors and finally saw through his thoughts.
When I looked up, I accidentally saw the clock, and my stomach was repetitive. I drew on the draft without attending class, and I didn't feel sleepy, which showed that I had something to think about. Calculate today's date again, Friday.
It's the last class. It's less than 2 minutes before class is over. The canteen has special dishes today. One truth prevails.