We often find some people joking, and everyone will not feel offended while laughing heartily. And some people's jokes make people feel uncomfortable, making people feel: what the hell, what did you say?
The difference lies in whether the speaker realizes that "communication has boundaries".
Si Wen has repeatedly stressed that communication has boundaries, and humor and communication are both arts that need to be measured. We need wisdom, so that the other party can receive information comfortably and make everyone feel comfortable in this discourse field.
If we are not sensitive to the border issue, we will put our foot in our mouth and make jokes.
Behind the sensitivity to communication boundaries is a person's cultivation, emotional intelligence and wisdom. Si Wen warned us that as long as we can respect each other's boundaries and draw our own boundaries in communication, we will be more sure of what can and cannot be said.
And how to do it? Si Wen gives specific humorous communication methods for five scenes that each of us will encounter every day.
First, pay attention to pleasure in intimate relationships, and let intimate relationships constantly create an atmosphere of "the other party is interesting, you think the other party is interesting, and you are willing to accept him, and the other party is interested in you and willing to laugh at you". In this process, we should flexibly use three communication tools of intimate relationship, that is, moderate offensive interest, "internal stalk" and "local love story" between them, so as to make intimate relationship more lasting and harmonious in tolerance and humor. Si Wen said: the longer the relationship, the more careful care and management are needed. Home has never been a place for reason, but a place for tolerance and acceptance. Each of us should use wisdom, openness and softness to enhance our charm and maintain our hard-won feelings.
Second, in family relations, we should strive to establish a good family communication model, so that this most complicated communication relationship will become warmer in mutual understanding. In family communication, we should pay special attention to three elements, namely, boundary, understanding and humor. Boundary is the premise of smooth family communication. When we grow up, we will find that there are certain boundaries between us and our families, and we can't violate the boundaries of our families at will under the banner of "for your own good". By doing this, family members can realize the existence of borders and understand each other, and family conflicts can be reduced by more than half. If humor is added as a catalyst for harmonious coexistence, I believe many family conflicts and communication barriers between parents and children can be well solved.
Third, in workplace communication, as long as both managers and employees can calm down and have an equal heart and a normal heart, they can actively contribute their humorous strength, which will not only make the labor-capital relationship more harmonious, but also add hard-to-change cohesion and combat effectiveness to the team. As a boss, you should dare to laugh at yourself and be tolerant of employees. Part-time workers should not only be modest, but also laugh at themselves. More importantly, they should help leaders solve their embarrassment at critical moments. It is not easy to do this, but people in the workplace should practice their improved skills. In addition to excellent professionalism, good communication skills are also an important part of migrant workers.
Fourth, in social occasions, we should quickly open up the situation in unfamiliar situations, increase our recognition and goodwill, design an impressive self-introduction for ourselves, and learn to adjust the atmosphere. In the aspect of self-introduction, Si Wen took the name introduction as an example and shared three small methods: finding homophones, contacting famous poems and contacting celebrities. In terms of adjusting the atmosphere, Si Wen suggested that everyone learn to laugh at themselves to relax the conversation atmosphere, and find the same topic to make the communication smooth and show themselves better.
Fifth, when you need to make a public speech, you should grasp the humorous motto of "extra accuracy, no need for more". Put limited humor at the beginning and end. How to operate? As an excellent talk show actor, the sharing of thinking and writing is particularly meaningful. That is, three opening methods+two ending techniques. Three ways to make the opening remarks more humorous are: mention a guest at the scene, say something that everyone cares about, and tell a humorous story related to the theme. The two ending skills are similar to writing, that is, one is echo, the other is to convey value and then humor.
In my opinion, a good public speech is a good article first. In other words, writing is of great help to the improvement of thinking and expression ability. Speaking and writing are essentially the same. They are all carriers of our thoughts, but the export is different and the carrier form is different. The source behind these two expressions is us, our thoughts and the three views as expressors.
This also coincides with Si Wen's point of view. In her book, she repeatedly emphasized that skill is skill, and being a man is the Tao. The detailed analysis of this point is expounded in the fourth chapter. Looking forward to her point of view.
Just kidding. Watch it tomorrow.
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