Advantages: the sentences are fluent, the main line is clear, and the content is posted.

Disadvantages:

The topic is too dull. "Find out the problem to make progress", this topic feels like the topic of primary school students' composition. If it is changed to "the writing level stops because you don't know how to find problems" or "those invisible problems are the biggest reason to hinder your progress", then readers should want to click on this article.

The title of the article is very important, because before the reader knows your content, the first thing she sees is your title, just like we usually look at people, we must first look at the outside of them. If this person looks sloppy, then others are definitely not interested in him. Therefore, if the title is not good, even if your content is good, it is difficult to show it, because others will not come in at all.

This article is a bit complacent. High fact, we are ashamed to write articles, because the articles we write are for readers to read, so we can't simply keep a diary.

The sentence is too colloquial. The expression "with the help of grandparents" is too heavy, so I think it can be expressed in another way.

When we write a theme, it is absolutely icing on the cake if we can sublimate it with golden sentences or famous sayings. For example, when you sum up (in the red box), you can borrow some famous sayings, or you can write your own ideas more forcefully and leave a deep impression on readers.

⑤ Through observation and comparison, find out the reasons for the gap between yourself and your friends in writing. I think, in this process, the author can completely expand the theme and make progress with one or two examples. Let's write it like this: First, write about finding problems, that is, you find out what problems you have; Second, writing should understand yourself through analysis and make progress, so that the article will be sublimated.

When we write articles, we don't just write whatever we want. Firstly, the article should be fluent, and secondly, you should have your own opinions and ideas.

Second, "Mom, I won't disturb your work, I'll kiss you and leave": Have you ever experienced the desire behind children's understanding? 》

Advantages: This article is actually a typical hot article of new media. The topic is quite good, and the overall structure is well grasped.

Disadvantages: Don't write unnecessary sentences in new media. Take the following figure as an example. The sentence in the little red box is completely unnecessary, and the two sentences in the big red box are too cumbersome, which can be distilled into one sentence, that is, the child is very happy to know that he can meet his mother at the airport, and even carefully prepared a gift.

Every sentence of new media articles should be useful, and it is not necessary to be very clear about the details. The conclusion at the end of the article should be strong, and the standpoint must be clear, so that readers can feel something and bring shock to their hearts!

Third, "all roads have snakes"

Advantages: the main idea is expressed in place and the structure is good. We can solve the problem from the beginning.

Disadvantages:

Although the beginning of the article is broken, it lacks skill and strength. For example, the first sentence of the original text "From the appearance, there is a good work that is the work of others" was replaced by "The best in this world is always the children of others, and the easiest is always the work of others". The same meaning, different expressions, does it feel different?

The examples are too short, too many and too complicated. This article is not a factual record. We use examples to demonstrate our views, so the expression of examples, the interpenetration of views and the sublimation of the tail should be done properly.

We use examples to lead out or demonstrate our own views, which play a supporting and promoting role in the article, and at the same time make readers read more interesting and relaxed, rather than simply trying to gather words.

Whether examples and opinions can be well combined is a difference between good and bad articles.

So I suggest that before you write an article, list the structure, what to express in the first paragraph, what to express in the second paragraph, and what is the main line of the full text, so that you won't be confused when you write. Don't be too wordy about the same meaning. If you can make it clear in one sentence, don't say it in two sentences.

Fourth, "Everyone needs a Walden Lake in his heart."

Advantages: the idea of expression is clear and the ending is well handled.

Disadvantages:

The title of this article is "Everyone Needs a Walden Lake", and the word "Germany" is missing. Perhaps the author thinks these small mistakes are nothing, but strictly speaking, "morality, morality, morality" is often very particular. In my opinion, these details represent the author's attitude towards the article and prove whether you really care.

(2) The cohesion of the sentences before and after and the transition of the upper and lower paragraphs in the article are not rigorous and natural. What "Walden Lake" stands for, the author doesn't make it clear, which makes readers confused and can only guess at random.

③ The expression is not clear enough. It is a high-quality article, which can not only make readers read easily and happily, but also make readers gain something.

The author writes at the beginning that life is very busy, but the following paragraphs feel particularly awkward to read (see the picture below). I'll make a slight modification here-we are very busy every day, and it's never easy to work or live; Just no matter how busy you are, you should keep a peaceful mind and give yourself some breathing space. The writer Thoreau is like this. He stayed away from the noise, lived in a cabin by Walden Lake, and devoted himself to writing, thus writing the famous Walden Lake.

Let's have a look. When you write in another way, does the same meaning give people a very different feeling? It wouldn't be so messy. Of course, you have to sublimate and summarize later, and you have to write clearly what you want to express.

5. Sister, the person who warms my life.

Advantages: full of warmth and emotion!

Disadvantages:

The fifth and sixth paragraphs are abrupt and the transition is natural.

Throughout the whole article, it is found that the word "sister" appears too frequently. Some sentences can try to change rhetoric, replace them with other words or set them off with other sentences. The outline description is not necessarily so simple.

Finally, to reiterate, before writing, make clear the theme, and then analyze what kind of views you want to express. You should write through several sections, list the topics first, and then fill in the contents.