Li Jie was late for three times a week and was criticized by the leader. Li Jie is not a lazy person, but also an impatient person, but she happened to meet the daughter of a "slow doctor". Sister Li's husband is away on business all the year round, so the task of taking care of her daughter falls to Sister Li alone.
Every morning, Sister Li tidies up her daughter and sends her to kindergarten before she can go to work. But recently, my daughter is not obedient and doesn't want to get up every morning. No matter how hurried Li Jie is, the little guy is slow. Sister Li was in a hurry, and her daughter responded unhurriedly: "What's the hurry? I can't eat hot tofu in a hurry. "
"The somebody else all say I am a nasty wind, I don't understand, I this character how to give birth to a' slow doctor'? Every morning, I shout my voice out, but she is still as slow as a snail. "Sister Li was particularly sad when she talked about her daughter.
In order not to be late for work, and to change her daughter's dawdle, Sister Li's attitude towards her daughter has changed, from previous reprimand to beating and cursing. I thought her daughter would change under her shock. Unexpectedly, the problem of children muddling along has not been solved, but also added new problems, such as timidity.
When it comes to children's dawdling, parents really have endless bitterness, and there are also such doubts: Why don't children work? There are many reasons for procrastination in children, but no reason can be found. Blaming and beating alone can't solve the problem, but it may make it more and more serious. Often old diseases are not removed, and new diseases are added.
Let's analyze the common causes of procrastination and procrastination in children, and then make targeted solutions after understanding the reasons.
First, lack of time concept.
Children love to procrastinate, usually because they have a vague concept of time and have no sense of urgency like adults. Children don't know what will be better after finishing something as soon as possible, and they don't think there is anything wrong with being slow. Children often only think about what is in front of them, which is determined by their physical and psychological characteristics.
Second, attention is easily diverted.
A child's attention is easily influenced by the surrounding environment, and anything interesting next to him will make him forget his original intention. When eating, a sentence on TV can make him put down his bowl and stare at the screen with rapt attention. He was going to brush his teeth, but he might touch something to play with when he went to the toilet.
Third, not interested.
Usually, what children like to do is fast and what they don't like to do is slow. The child wants to play outdoors, but his mother insists that he tidy up his toys. Children who are unhappy but have to do it will naturally grind up migrant workers. It's time to eat, but the children drank a lot of drinks and ate a lot of snacks before meals. He doesn't feel hungry at all, nor is he interested in eating. Of course, he will stay. Children are not enthusiastic about learning and have low interest in learning. Every day, they deal with their parents. If you ask him to do his homework, he can procrastinate.
Fourth, the action is not skilled.
Sometimes children's procrastination is not intentional, but because they are not skilled in doing something and lack operational skills. Children are children, and their thinking ability and physical coordination ability are still developing. When doing things, he may not know how to arrange the order of doing things and how to do more things with less time. You may not even have mastered the basic skills of dressing and washing, which is "clumsy"; You may not have a solid grasp of knowledge when doing your homework, and many topics are difficult to do.
Fifth, lack of self-confidence.
Some children lack enough self-confidence, are afraid that they can't do well, are afraid that they will make mistakes, and want to ask others for help when they encounter problems, so they are hesitant and timid. However, the more worried and scared they are, the slower they will move. If the adults continue to blame and urge at this time, the child's self-confidence will be affected again, and the action will not be faster, but will be slower.
Sixth, the role model of parents.
Parents' behavior has a great influence on their children. Some parents often procrastinate and don't talk about efficiency when they do things by themselves. Things that could have been done quickly take a long time, and things that should have been done ahead of time should be put off until the last minute. Parents' procrastination will subtly affect their children. After a long time, children will also develop the bad habit of procrastination and dawdling.
Seven, parents arranged.
Some parents' arrangements for their children have also caused their children to "muddle along": mothers will help their children wash their faces because they have no time to wash their faces; Because it takes too much time to tidy up the children's schoolbags, the mother helps the children tidy up every day. As we all know, after such a long time, children will gradually form the habit of muddling along, and their inertia will become stronger and stronger, and their dependence will become greater and greater, because children know what they want to eat, wear, wash and tidy up, and their parents will help him anyway.
Eight, the purpose of doing things with adults is different.
Adults do things in order to get more and better results, so adults usually consciously take the time to finish their work as soon as possible. But children are different. Children often do things to enjoy the process of doing things, not to experience the process of doing things. Their main motivation for doing things is "fun". They are often more interested in the process of activities than the results, so they usually spend a long time in the process of doing things. Therefore, children can't do what adults think can be done quickly.
Nine, negative confrontation with parents
Nowadays, some parents are eager to "make their children prosperous" and rarely give their children free time. After the child finished one task, the parents arranged another task. The homework is finished, and there are extra homework. After the extra homework is finished, they have to practice the piano and draw pictures. Anyway, they can't be idle or play. So the child came up with the trick of muddling along, and it was better to do things slowly. Anyway, the faster you do it, the more tasks you have.
Next, I will summarize and share some solutions for your child's procrastination:
First, stimulate children's competitive psychology and improve their sensitivity.
Create opportunities for children to compete with their friends in a healthy way. Parents have a calm mind, and children focus on participation. By comparing the speed, courage and carefulness between their friends. Let children gradually realize their abilities in the competition, and develop their thinking and action abilities to capture information and react sharply.
Second, eliminate irrelevant incentives and let children concentrate on their work.
Keep a quiet environment so that children can concentrate on what they are doing, that is, speed up and ensure quality.
Third, help children build a sense of time.
Help children realize that time is the most precious wealth in the world by telling stories. The longest and shortest, the most and the least, the fastest and the slowest, the easiest to lose but irreparable. If you delay it, it will slip away quietly. Only by cherishing it and grasping it will it be "enduring". Encourage children by telling stories that cherish time and success. You can put famous sayings on the wall to remind children of the value of time and let them know that procrastination will waste a lot of time.
Fourth, change the evaluation angle and say less "slow"
The evaluation of slow action will make children ignore the use of time. After a long time, they will be said to be slow, and children will think that they are slow in everything. Parents need to consciously praise her and tell her that, for example, today's progress is faster than yesterday; For example, tell her that she can get up quickly as long as she doesn't do anything else while eating.
Fifth, use the speed measurement method to feel that you can be fast.
Before you do something, set in advance how long it will take to finish it. When the child was doing something, the parents timed her, told her and praised her for being a few minutes faster than last time, which improved the child's enthusiasm.
Sixth, let the child feel that it is worthwhile to be fast, and she will be fast.
When the expected task is completed quickly, how to deal with the extra time is the child's own arrangement, otherwise the child will feel that the faster the task is, the slower it will be. As long as they are free, parents will assign tasks, and children's countermeasures are to dismantle parts and play while doing. Therefore, parents should never arrange too much for their children.
Seven, stop urging and insist on praise.
The more the child dawdles, the more the parents shout and urge, and the slower the child moves, the more angry the parents are. On the contrary, if a child does something a little faster, parents will praise it, which will stimulate the child's inner motivation.
It is unrealistic to change the procrastination habit of such children from the root. In the face of such children, it is useless to be angry, let alone laugh at their dullness. Instead, we should give the greatest praise to his every little progress to stimulate the speed of children's work.