Statistically speaking, children who grow up in an environment where parents have low education and poor economic conditions are more likely to be spanked because their parents are not good at reasoning and their hands automatically come to help. Children who grow up in an environment where their parents are well-educated and have a good economic situation are beaten less often, but are disciplined and educated to a much higher degree. Their parents generally have relatively high IQs and can come up with many effective ways to subdue naughty bags. From a psychological point of view, hitting actually indicates the intimacy of a relationship. There has always been a saying in China that "hitting is love." ?0?2?0?2?0?2?0?2?0?2 In a family with harmonious family ties, parents’ attitude towards their children is more casual. Sometimes they will beat or criticize excessively, and the children will not care. , and understand the parents’ intentions. In families where family relationships are not harmonious, beating children or criticizing them excessively may lead to rebellion, which is not worth the gain. In severe cases, hostility may even arise within the family, and parents and children may become strangers to each other. Whether you can spank your child depends on whether you have a strong relationship with your child. This is the common sense that "the biological mother can spank, but the stepmother cannot spank". ?0?2?0?2?0?2?0?2?0?2 Beating children from an early age hurts their self-esteem?0?2?0?2?0?2?0?2?0?2 In my clinic During the consultation, there are indeed many adults who attribute their unhappiness and unhappiness throughout their lives to their parents' rude attitudes, which caused them to have no dignity and self-confidence since childhood. Many people are unwilling to accept reality when they become adults, thinking that if their parents were not good when they were young, they would be what they are now. In fact, this is an evasion of responsibility. People who hold this idea are willing to play the role of a weak member of society, immersed in complaints about the past, and give up their due efforts with "I can't do anything". ?0?2?0?2?0?2?0?2?0?2 Domestic violence destroys the baby’s future?0?2?0?2?0?2?0?2?0?2 Another situation is Domestic violence, parents with personality problems, alcoholism, marital crisis, or social frustration use their children as a punching bag. This type of beating is generally quite severe, causing damage to the skin and, in severe cases, damage to body organs. Living in such a family will leave a lot of trauma on the child's body and mind, which will distort the child's soul and make him polarized as an adult. He or she will be either timid or timid, or he will act wildly. Western society attaches great importance to parental abuse of children, including sexual abuse, physical abuse (corporal punishment, neglect), and mental abuse (swearing, blaming, indifference). There is a special committee for the protection of children's rights and interests to urge parents to exercise their custody rights. If there is confirmed abuse, the parents' qualifications for custody of their children may be revoked. ?0?2?0?2?0?2?0?2?0?2 When spanking children, do you choose "tradition" or "humanity"? ?0?2?0?2?0?2?0?2?0?2 Ancient China advocated strict education for children. “Good people come out of yellow thorn sticks,” “No one can become talented without beatings.” “A strict family produces filial sons.” "Such wise sayings are still active in the subconscious mind of Chinese people. Of course, from a human perspective, spanking children is inhumane after all. Modern society pays more and more attention to children's independent personality and free decision-making ability. The value orientation of society no longer focuses on whether you are a good person, whether you are gentle, courteous and thrifty, but on whether you are capable, competitive and creative. . Spanking a child may make the child a good person, an obedient person, or even a person willing to study hard, but it cannot make the child a creative person. Excessive spanking will damage his motivation to grow, frustrate his confidence and drown out his innate creativity. ?0?2?0?2?0?2?0?2?0?2 Indifference to children is no less harmful than "beating and scolding education"?0?2?0?2?0?2?0?2? 0?2 Is it right to never beat or scold children? In fact, this is not the case. Indifference and neglect to children are more hurtful than beating and scolding. In our clinic, there are two diseases related to childhood neglect, neglect, or even abandonment by parents. One is borderline personality. Such people have a strong sense of uncertainty, insecurity, lack of self-boundaries, and great inner pain in intimate relationships. The other type is post-traumatic adjustment disorder (PTSD). Children who have been in an environment of neglect and denial for a long time have personality withdrawal, dependence, and often dissociative emotional and physical disorders. Therefore, whether you can spank your child or whether you should spank your child cannot be answered simply with YES or NO. We need to introduce a new observation system. That is to see whether the act of hitting is effective in solving a certain problem. If it is effective, "no heavy hammer is needed to sound the drum", the child will thank you later. If it is ineffective, it will inevitably be "overcorrected", and it will cause even greater trouble. ?0?2?0?2?0?2?0?2?0?2 Some children cannot be spanked: ?0?2?0?2?0?2?0?2?0?2 1. Parents The relationship with the child is not good. The more he is beaten, the more distant he becomes, and the more he is beaten, the more rebellious he becomes. I would rather not do this kind of ineffective behavior. ?0?2?0?2?0?2?0?2?0?2 2. The child has already suffered great setbacks and grievances. The child's ability to withstand pressure is limited. Don't do anything to make matters worse. ?0?2?0?2?0?2?0?2?0?2 3. Children who are too introverted. This kind of child is naturally sensitive and has limited ability to handle stress. He keeps everything in his heart and cannot see it on the outside. , hitting will aggravate the child's depression. ?0?2?0?2?0?2?0?2?0?2 4. Don’t fight on things that belong to the child, such as hobbies, social interactions, and friendships. Respecting the child’s rights can cultivate the child’s self-confidence.

?0?2?0?2?0?2?0?2?0?2 5. Girls before and after puberty cannot be beaten. Girls need stronger self-esteem. When they grow up, they will encounter social pressure than boys. big. Girls who are beaten tend to develop a masochistic tendency, thinking that beating is a sign of being loved and cared for. As a result, they will unconsciously encourage their husbands to commit violence. ?0?2?0?2?0?2?0?2?0?2 6. Don’t ask the child to self-examine after being beaten. Children are usually angry for a long time after being beaten. You can let the child Express his dissatisfaction and give him a psychological buffer. Forcing him to admit his mistake at this time is tantamount to forcing him to lie and deceive, which will aggravate his psychological trauma. ?0?2?0?2?0?2?0?2?0?2 Of course, the last thing to remind is that you don’t need to hit for real. Hitting is just a strategy, and it is enough to act as a deterrent to the child.