1 The boy is so crazy, his breath is louder than athlete’s foot.

2. Go out of your way to protect your friends, and go out of your way to protect your friends from women.

3 When you rob a bank, come quickly and remember to put socks on your head. It is best to buy Langsha brand

4 You hate me. It's okay I don't mind. I don't live to please you.

5 You laugh that I am different from you, but I laugh that you are all the same.

6 The sweat and tears you shed today are all because your brain was filled with water.

7 Don’t hang yourself on one tree, find a few more trees and try.

8 Your shameless look has the charm of my youth.

9 You are as beautiful as a tree in the wind, handsome and unrestrained, loved by everyone, and blooming like flowers. You must be the best among scum, a beast among beasts, and a fighter among garbage. Oh too!

10 I like it when you take the initiative to find me, so that I can be sure that you won’t find me annoying.

11 Which school did you graduate from? All your annoying degrees have gone up to postdoctoral level! !

12 I am not Super Mario and cannot pay for the RMB you want.

13. Some students should not turn their heads beyond the yellow-red angle when taking exams.

14 After the first kiss, a woman will regard the kiss as an investment put out, but a man will regard it as a loan withdrawn.

15 God created the virgin, and I created the woman.

16 Some people always want God to know when they do good deeds, and they always want even ghosts to know about bad deeds.

17 For a better divorce, let’s get married!

18. The bedside conversation between husband and wife is actually a kind of spice of life, which is especially important for women.

But sometimes, it’s not that I don’t want to say it, I’m just a little sleepy...

19. Everyone says that being a human being is tiring, and I feel the same way.

Wear a wig, a mask, glasses, and a smile.

Put on underwear, put on outer clothes, then put on coat, put on underwear, put on outer pants, then put on belt,

Put on socks, put on shoes, then put on Tie your shoelaces and do this every day until you go to heaven.

20 Go your own way and let cats and dogs talk.

21 I want to serve the people, but it is impossible to serve everyone and all the people;

I want to serve people like my relatives, friends, acquaintances, and beauties. Service,

This alone is enough to keep me busy, how can I still have the energy to serve other people and other people?

22 It is difficult for a rich man to be a man without money.

23 It is a blessing for a woman to kiss a man, and it is a blessing for a man to kiss a woman.

24 The way of this world is the way of another world. As long as you are an official, you will have the way.

25 I am not a casual person; but once I become casual, I am no longer a human being.

26 Zhu Yuanzhang is my uncle, if you don’t believe me, call him out and ask!

27 The garden is full of spring scenery and I can’t keep it in, so I pulled Hongxing out of the wall.

28 In this life, are you here to lend money or to repay debts?

29 When asked what love is in the world, the sage said: trash.

30 As long as a man has money, he can have a relationship with whomever he wants.

31 Today he is a majestic rooster, but tomorrow he may become a dishonored feather duster.

32 You are not afraid of drinking dichlorvos, but you are afraid of surprises when you open the lid and enjoy one more bottle.

33. Money can make ghosts push millstones, and money can make millstones push ghosts.

34 Sorry is a kind of sincerity, and it doesn’t matter is a kind of demeanor.

If you pay sincerity but don’t get grace, it only shows the ignorance and vulgarity of the other party!

35 Think about the salary comparison, forget it, I don’t want to live anymore.

36 College students = eating + sleeping + falling in love. Pigs = eating + sleeping. Therefore, college students = pigs + falling in love. From the above, college students - falling in love = pigs, that is, college students who do not fall in love are pigs.

37 Hello: Today is International Women's Day. On behalf of the International Women's Federation, I officially inform you that all women's toilets and women's baths are open to you free of charge. Please come.

38 The motto of non-drinkers: Eat your own food and let others spit it out.

39 In real society, low-key people are the most charming.

40 I am young and need your guidance, but I don’t need your pointing.

41 Thanks to my figure, even if I am bloated, I can travel around the world.

42 Don’t be afraid of opponents who are like gods, but be afraid of teammates who are like rogue rabbits.

43 You have a big chest and no brains.

Reply: It’s better than you being small-chested and brainless.

44 It takes ten thousand years from a monkey to a human, but only a bottle of wine from a human to a monkey~

45 Let’s go! The further you go, the better, please don’t stop Hang on to me, I really can’t stand you anymore,

You will only bring me harm, the more kind you are to me, the more painful I will be

Fly away, damn mosquitoes !

46 Everyone says I am an actor because my eyes widen when I see a beautiful girl.

47 I am very poor, my servants are also very poor, and my gardener is also very poor. Poor, my driver is also very poor.

48 When work and love are unsatisfactory, you can take out your little brother, stare at it, and meditate on the spirit it contains:

It can be long or short, thick or thin, and can stretch. Music can be soft or hard, if you learn it, the difficulties you face will be nothing!

49 A woman chooses a posture that makes her life irreplaceable.

50 As long as your feet are still on the ground, don’t take yourself too lightly; as long as you are still living on the earth, don’t take yourself too seriously.

51 When I give birth to a son in the future, I want him to be named So Handsome. Then when others see me, they will say He is a handsome dad.

52 People should not be judged by their appearance, and mistresses should not be judged by their judgment.

54 In love, some people regard death as home; in marriage, some people regard home as death.

55 It’s not that I look down on you, but I just don’t care about you at all.

56 It is not necessarily a good thing for all people to stand on one side, for example, they all stand on one side of a boat.

57 Men are there to rely on, so they must be reliable; women are there to love, so they must be cute.

58 Many people fall in love with the wrong person because of loneliness, but more people fall in love with the wrong person and remain lonely all their lives.

59. Smart people are all unmarried. It is difficult for married people to become smart again.

60 I am in the world, but there are no legends about me in the world.

61 True love is like a UFO - you have only heard of it but never seen it. Even if you see it, 99.9% of it is fake. , if you really meet that 0.1%, congratulations, you have found aliens!

62 The highest level of eating at a buffet: support the wall to enter and support the wall to exit.

63 A man who has a one-night stand is a romantic, and a woman who has a one-night stand is a slut.

64 The next time I meet you, I will definitely pull you to the bedroom, lock the door,

quickly push you down on the bed, cover your head with the quilt, and stretch out my big hand< /p>

Look, my phone has a blue screen.

65 Behind a man who socializes a lot, there is a resentful woman. Behind a man who does not socialize at all, there is a super resentful woman.

66 Corrupt officials are everywhere, squandering money and drinking and drinking.

67 Don’t fall in love with me, hypocritical! If we can, let's get married!

68 God gave you a pair of wings, so you should be braised. Funny and teasing quotes

1. Don’t be obsessed with your brother, your sister-in-law is the legend.

2. If you were a flower, no cow would dare to poop in the future.

3. Drive an Audi, wear Dior, and eat Oreos when you have nothing to do.

4. My destiny is determined by me and not by Heaven. If Heaven wants to destroy me, I will destroy Heaven.

5. It’s not that I’m obsessed with legends, it’s just that legends are so beautiful.

6. The minimum goal: the peasant woman has some fields in the mountain spring.

7. Brother, let me throw a brick first. If there is jade, just throw it over.

8. You play with your customization, and I play with my formatting.

9. Cover your own crotch and respect the crotch of others.

10. A low-key and boring high-profile is a sign of being beaten.

11. Rain in the middle of the night, clouds in the middle of the night, and shouting in the middle of the night are even scarier.

12. Love is like fart! Hear, smell, see.

13. Dogs are dogs, but sometimes people are not people.

14. You can watch in Minecraft, but you cannot speak.

15. What you earn is the money from selling cabbage, but what you earn is the heart from selling white powder.

16. Only when your pants lose their belts do you understand what dependence is.

17. Don’t be afraid of enemies who are like tigers, but be afraid of teammates who are like pigs!

18. A woman pretending to be better than that is called capital, and a man pretending to be better than that is called perversion.

19. Don’t use your video playing speed to challenge Gola Hei’s skills.

20. Women are kind because they are stupid, and men are stupid because they are kind.

21. Loneliness is the carnival of one person, and carnival is the loneliness of a group of people.

22. In work, if you take a step back, the sky will be brighter; in love, if you take a step back, the sky will be empty.

23. Don’t force me. If you force me, I will pretend to be dead!

24. A woman kissing a man is a blessing, and a man kissing a woman is a blessing.

25. My grandfather has been dead for almost two years, why am I still like a grandson?

26. Some people are destined to wait for others, and some people are destined to be waited for.

27. Goods have expiration dates, and people sometimes get tired of them. How long can you be awesome in my heart?

28. Steamed buns are expensive, while steamed buns are more expensive. If you have roasted pork ribs, you can throw away both.

29. The man women hate most is Chen Shimei; the woman men like most is Pan Jinlian.

30. Chatting is valuable, and Internet fees are higher. If you are sleeping, you can throw away both.

31. A fashionable dad is avant-garde, an avant-garde dad is alternative, and an alternative dad is indifferent.

32. Brothers are like hands and feet, and women are like clothes. If anyone touches my hands or feet, I will take off his clothes!

33. Primary school students are in teams; middle school students are in piles; college students are in pairs.

34. Life is like a green spider crawling forward slowly, but bleeding red blood.

35. No story can be trusted. Let us look at each other and listen to a few words.

36. The poorest men don’t bargain when buying groceries, while the richest women also have to bargain when buying groceries.

37. A grievance that can be expressed is not a grievance; a lover that can be snatched away is not a lover.

38. Men are there to rely on, so they must be reliable; women are there to love, so they must be cute.

39. The difference between a lie and an oath is: one is taken seriously by the listener, and the other is taken seriously by the teller.

40. There should be a better way to start the day than waking up every morning.

41. Even if happiness only exposes a thread, she has the ability to pull it out and knit it into a sweater.

42. Dapeng wandered in the sky after falling out of love. He couldn't find a second nest before he started his journey of thousands of miles.

43. The division of labor is different: before a man goes to work, his wife ties his tie, and before going to bed, his lover untie his pants.

44. There is no grass anywhere in the world, so why should we have unrequited love for a grass? As long as you search carefully, there will always be one better than her.

45. Sincerity is a kind of beauty, persistence is a kind of loyalty; beauty does not necessarily mean happiness, and loyalty does not necessarily mean happiness.

46. Falling in love with only one is a bit silly, but falling in love with two is the minimum. Three or five is just right, and ten or eight is chic.

47. No matter how beautiful a woman is, she will be pinned down by a man, and no matter how handsome a man is, he will kneel between a woman’s legs.

48. Love that cannot feel pain is not true love, and a marriage that cannot feel happiness must be a sad marriage.

49. These days, my son has to do his homework until 11 o'clock before going to bed. This is how the flowers of the motherland are crippled!

50. Women like to hear men say that another woman is ugly; men like to hear women say that another man is a failure.

51. A life without memories is not a perfect life. Just like a woman without children is not a perfect woman.

52. The man who is least afraid of his wife at home does not dare to contradict his mother-in-law; the woman who is most afraid of her husband at home also dares to contradict her mother-in-law.

53. Let them go and climb the new peak of fashion. You stay here, daze, smile, or take a walk.

54. No matter how smart a woman is, she is confused about her appearance, and no matter how stupid a man is, he is sober when it comes to a woman’s appearance.

55. There are some girls in this world that always make people think about them, and there are some girls, including her own existence, that people have to think about.

56. In fact, there is no definite pursuit in life. Whatever you lack most will be what you want most. From this point of view, being shameless is glorious.

57. There is no money for children to go to school, but there is money for building temples to worship gods; there is no money for honoring the living, but there is money for burying the dead; there is no money on the company's account, but the boss's family has money. .

58. Say nice things to your boss, say ugly things to your subordinates, lie to your wife, tell lies to your lover, tell jokes to acquaintances, and tell lies to strangers.

59. The career belongs to the country, the honor belongs to the unit, the achievements belong to the leader, the salary belongs to the wife, the property belongs to the children, and the mistakes belong to oneself.

60. The most embarrassing thing for a man is when his wife gets drunk and pesters his friends; the most embarrassing thing for a woman is when her husband’s friends get drunk and pester her.

61. The attitude towards intellectuals marks the degree of civilization of a nation; the attitude towards workers and farmers tests the conscience of the nation.

62. Holding the boss’s hand, he nodded and bowed without letting go; holding the disciplinary inspector’s hand, his whole body was shaking; holding the financial officer’s hand, he picked it up and walked to the restaurant.

63. No matter how bad the relationship between a man and his wife is, his relationship with his mother-in-law is still good; no matter how good the relationship between a woman and her husband is, her relationship with her mother-in-law is also bad.

64. The four symptoms of the hospital: waiting in line to register, making you dizzy; doctors diagnosing, but the goddess scatters flowers; charging for medicines, it is a fog; long-term treatment, medicines are wasted.

65. Wear a hat without a brim and pretend to be a cook; stand on the house to urinate and pretend to be a whistle; ride a bike and fart, pretending to be a slow breather!

66. The more places I go, the more I feel that this world is very small. This is my life experience. Listen to it, it’s actually nothing new.

67. If you have level but no temper, you are a saint; if you have level but have temper, you are a wise person; if you have no level but have temper, you are a mediocre person; if you have no level but have temper, you are a bad person.

68. Humans are really lazy and vulgar animals, cruel and ignorant. Many people know this fact, but we are just such animals and such people!

69. You eat very fat, pretend to be pretty, have a fat head and big ears, strong limbs, carry a pen, don’t know how to do accounts, buy a computer, don’t know how to surf the Internet, sleep at night, be sure Urine puddle.

70. Ignorance and little knowledge are terrible things and situations. It makes people self-righteous and self-knowledge, and the result is clumsiness and mistakes; what is even more terrible is ignorance and little knowledge.

71. With you, I forget about food and sleep. Without you, I don’t think about food and drink. With you, my heart is concerned. Without you, I worry about gains and losses.

72. Along the way, I gradually began to believe in a sentence. Some people in this world are destined to be lonely. It's not your fault or mine. Who told the man who suffered a thousand cuts to have such a serious imbalance in the male-to-female ratio?

73. The beauty of knowledge lies in making people confused; the beauty of poetry lies in inciting men and women to cheat; the beauty of women lies in being so stupid that they have no regrets; the beauty of men lies in talking so much that they can see ghosts in daylight.

74. I can’t resist my longing for you. I can only use images to convey my love. Don’t laugh at my obsession with you, just because of the wise saying - Who has no shit in life since ancient times, keep a photo Make toilet paper!

75. Occasional forgetfulness does not mean eternity. During the busy period, a faint longing lingers in my heart; during the lonely journey, please accept my sincere care and sincere blessings; I miss you, please let me Let’s eat!

76. If being beautiful is a mistake, I have made a big mistake; if being smart is a sin, I have committed a heinous crime. Being a human being is really difficult. But you are fine, you are right and not guilty, I really envy you!

77. The paratroopers were practicing skydiving. The instructor told him to open the parachute immediately after jumping out of the plane and counting to 10. Dean followed it and fell and was injured. The instructor called him a fool. A soldier said: Coach, Dean It's a stutter!

78. The Seven Fairies were bathing in the lake. Zhu Bajie wanted to take a peek, but he was afraid that Sun Wukong would find out and pull his ears. So he pretended to read text messages while peeking at the Seven Fairies. Look, look. , he is pretending!

79. Boss: Hello, comrades! Employee: The boss is the best! Boss: Good job, comrades! Employee: The boss works the hardest! Boss: The sun is so strong this summer that all the comrades are tanned! Employee: The boss is the most evil!

80. Without Pangu, there would be no chance of ape evolution; without oracle bones as stationery, history would be lifeless; without Daiyu and Baoyu, how could the Red Mansion be passed down for centuries? Without me sending you a message, who knew a pig could look at a cell phone?

81. It takes one day for the sun to rise and set, one month for the full moon and one month for its waning, one season for flowers to bloom and fall, one year for the reincarnation of the four seasons, a lifetime to love someone, and only one sentence to care for someone: It’s getting cold, so don’t forget to put some extra grass in your nest!

82. You and I are both single-winged angels. Only by embracing each other can we spread our wings and fly. It is said that people come to the world to find their other half. I finally found you after all the hard work, but I found that Our wings are parallel to each other.

83. When you were a child, your thoughts were very simple. You ate, slept, and ate. When you grow up, your thoughts are still very simple. You slept, ate, ate, and slept. I wish you Bajie, good food, sound sleep, sweet dreams, and a round belly!

84. The weather is hot and cold. In this season, I feel calm and always miss you in the distance. I am willing to raise a homing pigeon and let it fly to you every day, even if it can only do A simple action: shit on your head!

85. I want to give you clothes, but you are not in good shape; I want to give you drinks, but your wife is nagging; I want to give you candies, but your blood sugar rises; I want to give you RMB, but I am not well-off; I can only send you a text message, but it’s a pity that you are not well-educated and can’t understand it!

86. Someone told me: sending text messages to the most talented, healthy, honest, and kind person is the most noble thing; after thinking about it, I think this person must be you! If you feel the same way, please send me a reply!

87. A man entrusts his girlfriend to take care of his buddies, and in the end the girlfriend becomes his buddies’ wife, and the buddies take care of them; a woman entrusts her boyfriend to her sisters to take care of, and the sisters become her boyfriends. My sisters can’t be my wives.

88. One monk has to carry water to drink, and two monks have to carry water to drink. This classic story is unforgettable and deeply imprinted in my heart. Now, there is also a temple in the mountain, and there is also an old Taoist in the temple, but the old Taoist is holding a mobile phone and giggling.

89. The most romantic thing is to walk slowly with you and watch the 80-year-old man being gentle with the old lady on the roadside; the happiest thing is to walk slowly with you and watch Your cheerful gait is my enjoyment! My pet dog is running around again! Words to tease men_Words to tease girls

Selected words to tease men:

1. I want to bite you, but unfortunately I am a Muslim.

2. I really want to put my size 41 shoes on your size 42 face right away

3. On the morning of April Fool’s Day, you wake up and there is a flea lying on your pillow. , and a suicide note, which read: I struggled all night, but I couldn't bite your face. Your face is so thick that I can't survive! Hahaha!

4. Boy, today What happened? Did you take the wrong medicine when you went out? Or did you forget to take the medicine?

5. I dare not say that I love you. I am afraid that if I do, I will die soon. I am not afraid of death, I am afraid of me. Even after you die, no one will love you as much as I do!

6. The world is as big as the heart you lack.

7. The height of the sky is known by the clouds, the depth of the water is known by the fish, the fragrance of the flowers is known by the earth, and I understand your IQ. April Fool’s Day is a holiday tailor-made for you, haha, I wish You have infinite joy on April Fool's Day and boundless happiness!

8. As far as your thoughts go, roll away; as fast as the speed of light, roll away as fast as you can.

9. God created you because of his creativity, and it is your courage that you can live in this world.

10. Silly said he was going to buy chickens today, but his wife didn’t agree, so his father bought chickens to hunt, but his mother refused to let him go. Silly let him cry and scream, and took off his socks and threw them on the ground. I want you to play fool again! Read the second word of each sentence to understand the meaning. Happy April Fool's Day

Happy!

11. When people are in the classroom, their hearts are out of their minds. Reading is not as good as falling in love. The teacher asked why? For the next generation.

12. As soon as you go out, thousands of birds will fly away, and thousands of people will disappear.

13. You accidentally traveled to the Song Dynasty, and your martial arts are very powerful. The Huashan Sword Discuss proved that your martial arts surpassed the Eastern Evil and Western Poison, and defeated the Southern Emperor and Northern Beggar. Everyone thinks that you must be Dongfang Invincible, I actually don’t know where you come from. You could have been

carefree and at ease, but you didn't expect that a cry would make it difficult for you to have a good dream: Bajie, if you don't go to explore the mountains, you will hide and sleep again.

14. Have you drunk too much in Sanlu?

15. Which school did you graduate from? Your disgusting degree has been completed to the postdoctoral level!!

p>

16. You waste air when you are alive, you waste land when you are dead, and you waste RMB half-dead.

17. Your appearance is really unflattering, and you are slowing down the Internet speed

18. Your teeth are like the stars in the sky, bright in color and far apart.

19. Your life can be summed up in eight words: absurd in life and useless in death

20 , Were you thrown up 100 times but only caught 2 times when you were born?

21. I have been thinking hard to write a poem. Only two people in the world know it. Now I am secretly enjoying it, and the fool is reading it. This poem.

22. Aim for the innocent and avoid the profound; grasp the honest and be wary of the cunning; keep an eye on the lone and pay attention to the gang; unfortunately, if you are fooled, you will be charming with a smile. On April Fool's Day, everyone is responsible for playing tricks!

23. In the days without you, I can cherish myself! In the days without me, you can slowly torture yourself! < /p>

24. Lu Bu fell in love with Zhu Yingtai, Diao Chan intervened in Liang Shanbai, happiness hijacked the lonely bird, I am the best among friends, I send blessing messages to me, just to make you feel good, I don’t understand, take a deep breath, fool Happy holidays are a must. Happy April Fool's Day.

25. A wife is valuable, but a son is more valuable; if it is a lover, both can be thrown away.

26. The boss gives you a salary increase of 2,000, and informs the finance department to handle it immediately. I will come to the company to withdraw the money immediately. The time will be at 8 o'clock in the evening. If it is overdue, it will be deducted as absenteeism. Look, I'm just teasing you. Play.

27. Look at your ranking to know how many people are in your class.

28. The country is beautiful and fragrant, the country is beautiful, the fish is falling, the geese are falling, the moon is shy, the flowers are shy, the beauty is beautiful, the beauty is beautiful, the color and art are excellent, don’t be embarrassed to admit it, I know my image in your mind must be like this!

29. A rooster and a hen are husband and wife, and they are busy hatching chicks all day long. The chick has a mental problem and does not eat, drink or rest. The rooster and hen are anxious and hide aside to watch the chicks. They are stupid. The chick didn't pay attention and was secretly looking at the phone.

30. Dude, you dance the Gangnam style very well and happily, but don’t swing your head too much, okay? It's all filled with water. I'm afraid if you can't control it well, the water will burst. Hehe.

31. A plum blossom on a high mountain, who do you love?

I want to have sex with you, and no one can stop me. When I get married, I become obscene, and I am so crazy. I'm so cool when I'm gay.

32. Baby, baby, I love you, just like a mouse loves rice. You are a phoenix flying in the sky, and I am a jackal chasing you on the ground. I will neither beat you nor scold you. I will use Emotions torture you.

33. 4.1 April Fool’s Day is here. I know this is your favorite holiday, but don’t just enjoy yourself. If you ignore me, I will change. Ignore you now!

34. Article 1 of "The Complete Handbook of the Model Husband": The wife is always right. Rule 2: If your wife is wrong, please refer to Rule 1.

Selected quotes to tease girls:

1. If you knew who you married in the end, would you still sleep with someone else?

2. Eat porridge every day , unwilling to give in, I went to the vegetable market for a walk yesterday, and I thought I’d better continue eating porridge.

3. I was also an infatuated person, but it rained and I drowned.

4. Old advice: Girl, you must eat appropriately to lose weight effectively.

5. Although the famous flower has an owner, I am here to loosen the soil!

6. I searched for her thousands of times, but suddenly looking back, that person still dismissed me.

7. Whenever I miss a girl, I put a brick on the ground, so there is the Great Wall.

8. What is love? Love means not sleeping well; what is being an official? Being an official means not being a good person.

9. In the 1950s: As a big brother of workers, you have nothing to say when a girl marries you; in the 1960s: Your loved ones are the People’s Liberation Army, and I feel especially close to you when I meet you; in the 1980s: Who are the contemporary college students? Determined to spend a lifetime with you ; 1990s: Rich, rich, I love you, the age gap does not matter; New Century: There is no need to explain the conditions clearly, anyway, goodbye at dawn.

10. What is a friend of the opposite sex: you dare not say what you want to say, and dare not do what you want to do; what is a confidante: you can say what you want to say, but dare not do what you want to do; what is a lover: There is nothing to say and nothing to do; what is a wife? She is too lazy to say things and too lazy to do things.

Ridiculous words

1. Top-secret documents of the 16th National Congress: In order to improve the quality of the people, the State Council decided to eliminate a group of ugly and imbecile young people. You should immediately pack your things and go out to avoid them. Don’t thank me. Leave quickly and pay attention to your safety. !

2. The old saying goes: The kindness of a drop of water is repaid by a spring. This is such a heroic and poetic saying! But most people only want to be that drop of water, and few people are willing to do that. This is the hypocritical side of Chinese culture. Just like: We praise what no one wants to do, and we condemn what we yearn for. For example: People who curse the second generation of rich people wish they were the second generation of rich people. , even wild ones!

3. Don’t let wealth tempt you, let wealth succumb to you. Don’t let jealousy destroy you, jealousy destroys you. Don’t let other people’s success torture you. , let other people’s success inspire you.

4. Everyone can tell a story, whether it will happen or not is another matter! Everyone can change the trick, and whether it will be exposed depends on the person. !

5. In the early morning, you gently approached my bed and kissed my face affectionately. Your deep eyes were always staring at me. I really couldn’t refuse you - "Dog Good dog, let me take you for a walk."

6. There are two concepts of level. The former is related to economics, and the latter is related to humanities and history. Facing them, we must learn to appreciate them and abandon imposition and ignorance. Critical behavior.

7. If being beautiful is a mistake, I have made a big mistake; if being smart is a sin, I have committed a heinous crime. Being a human being is really difficult. But you can Okay, you are both right and not guilty, I really envy you!

8. The big stage! You think I am here blindly (ah, no stage)!

9. Still I don’t know who came up with this sentence: Ah, don’t let your child lose at the starting line! Bah! (Shakes head)

10. Advertising has come in, and I will show it to you every day. , can’t be bought.

11. Remember! Marriage is a set meal, you have to eat it together, marriage is currency, you have to go together.

12. I met God that day, and he said yes I have a wish. I said I wanted world peace, but he said it was too difficult to do. I took out your photo and hoped that he would make you more beautiful. God took your photo and said, "Take the globe and let me take a look."

13. In ancient times, women did not dare to set off fireworks ~ for fear of becoming a "fireworks woman"

14. If you want to have a beautiful mixed-race child, you must live far away, the farther away the better. < /p>

15. It is said that those who are barefoot are not afraid of those who wear shoes! This sentence is very harmful! Think about it: if those who wear shoes become barefoot, then what will become of the barefoot?

16. A cricket made a bet with a pig: If I jump into the grass, you can’t see me. The pig said: What if I can see you? So the cricket jumped into the grass. The pig was watching, The pigs are watching! The pigs are still watching! Why are the pigs still watching!

17. On behalf of the Party Central Committee, the State Council, the National People's Congress, the Central Military Commission, and the Hong Kong, Macao and Taiwan Office, I would like to strongly protest to you: You yesterday Why is there no Taiwan on the map of China left by my bedwetting at night!!! Remember to make up for it tonight.

18. A pair of fly mother and son were having a meal. The son frowned and asked his mother: "Mom, why do we have to do this every day?" Eat poop?" Mom said: "Don't say such disgusting things while eating, eat it while it's hot!"

19. Many Beijingers like me and want to invite me to perform in Beijing, but I won't go. , I said that if you like me, fly to Shanghai to see me, which can also boost Shanghai's GDP.

20. What is the relationship between low-key and honesty? What is the relationship between low-key and off-key? We are all destined. Singer, whichever note the baton of destiny points to, we should sing it accurately! If it is high, it will be loud, and if it is low, it will sing softly. When you should be low, you will be high, and the string will break. When you should be high, you will be low, and the key will be out of tune. Low-key is not out of tune, it is in tune. That's the tone.

21. Friendship is full of meaning to me. I cry when you cry, I laugh when you laugh, and I will not hesitate when you jump out of a tall building. Sticking his head out: "Wow, it would be strange not to die!"

22. I have been your friend for so long, and you have always cared about me, but I often cause you trouble. I really don’t know what to do. To repay you...so...I will work as a cow or a horse in my next life...I will definitely pull grass for you to eat...

23. The weather is hot and cold. In this season, my mood is calm, and I always miss you in the distance. , I would like to raise a homing pigeon and let it fly to you every day, even if all it can do is a simple action: poop on your head!

24. You pull a pigeon The pig was shopping, looking very happy. I passed by and said with sympathy: "The quality of a person depends on who he is with." Before I finished speaking, the pig abandoned you with disdain!

25. I didn’t realize until later that models are easy to find. It’s better to be tired when you’re done. It’s better to be sleepy when you’re tired. (I later learned that models can’t be found casually. If you can’t find them well, When you wake up, your brain will be damaged!)

26. According to statistics, more than 99.9% of people who look like pig heads use their thumbs to press buttons to read text messages! Hehe, there is no need to change hands, It's too late, Zhutou!

27. There is no concept of divorce in the mountains. They think that they are born with a combination of big cake and fried dough sticks.

28. And we in Shanghai People do evil. If you search for three generations, not a single one is from Shanghai!

29. People in the north dislike Shanghai people. Strangely enough, Ala has not offended them.

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30. To be friends with a person, you must not only accept his advantages, but also like his shortcomings. This is called Quexi (fool).

31. Tomorrow will be At first, the city decided to get rid of all the mentally handicapped young people who are ugly and detract from the appearance of the city! You quickly pack your things and go out to avoid the limelight. Don’t tell anyone that I informed you, remember! No need to say thank you!

< p> 32. I have known you so far, and you should be very clear about your position in my heart. Except for you, everyone else is just a pile of shit in my eyes, but you are different, because you are... two piles of shit.

33. One monk has to carry water to drink, and two monks have to carry water to drink. The classic story is unforgettable and deeply imprinted in my heart. Now, there is also a temple in the mountain, and there is also an old Taoist in the temple. , but the old man was holding his cell phone and giggling. The more vicious the curse words, the better.

34. You and I are both angels with one wing. Only by embracing each other can we spread our wings and fly. It is said that people come into the world with In order to find my other half, I finally found you after all the hard work*! But I found that our wings are aligned!