"Book of Filial Piety·Book of Filial Piety Chapter 10" No. 2
Original text: "Those who care for relatives should not be arrogant when they are above, not disorderly when they are below, and do not fight when they are ugly."
Baihua serves his parents, he should be in a high position without being arrogant and arrogant, he should be in a lower class without doing anything wrong, and he should live in harmony among the people without fighting with others.
Thought 1 Why is it said that arrogance is the beginning of a person’s fall and destruction?
Once a person in a superior position becomes arrogant, he will incur dissatisfaction from others. Arrogance is the beginning of a person's degradation and destruction.
"The Classic of Filial Piety" says that "one should not be arrogant when one is in a superior position", which refers to those who are leaders and those who are in a superior position in a unit or group. The most important quality is not to be arrogant. Xuanzong of the Tang Dynasty commented: "You should come down with solemn respect." This means that you should always treat your subordinates and those who are inferior to you, even juniors, with humility and respect. Why not be arrogant? Because "being arrogant and arrogant will lead to death", death means destruction, ruin of reputation, ruin of family and family.
Why? This is because there is insufficient understanding of the dangers of "arrogance". When a person has a powerful position, others will praise him, and he will easily forget to reflect on himself and think he is great, and his blessings will be greatly weakened. We have to remember that even if you are a very close friend, unless he is generous, generous and virtuous enough to tolerate you, as soon as you are arrogant, he will stay away from you at best, or hit you at worst. Arrogance can quickly break up your interpersonal relationship. Let your interpersonal situations quickly become dangerous. Whenever you want to offend someone or live a good life, you don't have to do anything, just be proud of him. Therefore, a filial son cannot be arrogant.
Confucius said: "If the beauty of Zhou Gong's talent makes him arrogant and stingy, the rest is not enough." Even if there is Zhou Gong's talent, if he is proud and stingy, his results will be ignored. . Who is Duke Zhou? Jia Yi's evaluation of him is: "Before Confucius and after the Yellow Emperor, the only one who had a great influence in China was the Duke of Zhou." He conquered the world, ruled the world, made rituals and music, and influenced China for thousands of years. He can be said to be the most influential person in history. A man of merit. His achievements are no match for the word "arrogance", which shows how quickly the word "arrogance" destroys virtue. The Duke of Zhou's "Book of Admonitions to Uncle Qin" recorded in "Han Shi Wai Zhuan" said: "I am the son of King Wen, the younger brother of King Wu, and the uncle of King Cheng. I also look after the world, and I am not scornful in the world. I wash my hair three times, and hold my hair three times. He was so attentive to receiving people from all over the world that he had to hold up his hair three times to meet guests. When a guest came to eat, he didn't even have time to swallow the food. , spit it out, and went to receive the guests, not neglecting the scholars at all. He is so respectful to the people below him, but he is afraid of losing people's hearts. We don’t have his merits, so why should we be arrogant?
Thought 2: What is the true courage of a gentleman?
The courage of a gentleman is not to draw a sword or stand up, nor to dare to act randomly. It must be to follow righteousness and etiquette and suppress one's troubles and habits. People in lower positions are ministers to princes and employees to enterprises. The most fundamental thing for people in lower positions is to have rules and regulations in mind and act with caution. If there are no rules and regulations in the mind and one is willful, it will be easy to become chaotic, and chaos will easily lead to punishment.
Many people in modern society cannot distinguish what "taking chaos as courage" means. A child dares to contradict his parents, and a subordinate contradicts his leader. He thinks this is bravery and courage. Confucius said: "A gentleman is brave but has no righteousness and commits chaos; a villain is brave but has no righteousness and is a thief." A gentleman just dares to do something. Righteousness is chaos; villains who are brave but not righteous are thieves. This thief not only refers to being able to rob and steal people's things, but also thinks about how to take advantage of others all day long. However, because of his own temper and not paying attention to rules and regulations, this is all considered theft. If the thief's heart is there, the villain will take chances, do things not according to the rules, and do whatever he likes. This is the thief's heart that has not been broken.
Thought 3: What is "Don't fight about ugliness" fighting for? How to avoid dispute?
"Don't fight among the ugly", "Justice" says, "Don't fight over things among the ugly." Xuanzong of the Tang Dynasty commented: "Be docile and conform to the crowd." This means when getting along with the crowd, you must always be compliant with all living beings and regard peace as the most precious thing. If you are docile, there will be no fighting. Laozi's "Tao Te Ching" says: "The way of heaven is to benefit without harm; the way of the sage is to act without fighting." What is the principle of heaven? It means only benefiting people and not harming them. The way of a saint is to serve the people, contribute to society, and never compete with others. To treat others with courtesy is to "don't fight when you are ugly".
But in real society, the more ordinary and humble people are, the more contentious they are.
Not only do we have to fight over petty profits, but we also have to fight over who is right and who is wrong. If a person has a lofty goal in his heart and knows how to be respectful and cautious, he will not easily get into disputes with others. Because you can't get peace by fighting. When you argue, you will immediately feel antagonism, conflict, and even resentment. "Disciple Rules" says: "When people have shortcomings, don't expose them; when people have selfish things, don't talk about them." As a person, you must pay attention to these details. If you expose other people's shortcomings easily, it will easily cause resentment. In the final analysis, it is the lack of respect in the heart, the unwillingness to abide by the rules, and the arrogance of daring to offend.