Buying a computer without broadband is like becoming a monk without eating. The following are humorous quotations I shared with you. Let's have a look.

1. Learn not to be angry first, and then learn to make people angry.

Nowadays, children's paper is really rude. It always doesn't talk to me in class.

3. The current playboy is because the original one is more attentive than anyone else.

4. Women now: Looking back, the weather is good. Looking forward to the future, no grain will be harvested.

I want to be as strong as a cactus, and I must learn to stab bad people.

6. I just wanted to turn gracefully, but I accidentally hit the wall.

7. With your understanding ability, you may not understand what I explained, and you can continue to be vague.

8. Sorry, I can't forget you. Maybe you hurt me deeply. Maybe I love you, even myself … Remember, I love you.

9. Thank you to all the people who have accompanied me to the present, especially those who intend to go with me.

10. You see, so many people, such a big world, I met you, you met me, how nice.

1 1. Face the fucking life with a nonsense attitude.

12. The so-called good students just did bad things and were not found by the teacher.

13. If you meet someone you like, you have to take the initiative to be a bitch.

14. Barbers can never understand the concept of cutting it shorter.

15. If I don't beat you, I will turn against you.

16. Fat man's voice: Enjoy your mouth, but want to be thin in your heart.

17. I really love you, and it is also a big adventure.

18. Men who are not good to women will be reincarnated as sanitary napkins in their next life!

19. Sitting in front of the computer all night, staring blankly in a waiting posture.

20. No one will accompany you all your life. You should adapt to loneliness. No one will help you all your life, so you have to keep fighting.

2 1. Tell you a ghost story, school will start soon, and the hard days are coming.

22. You will gradually find that those friends who said they would accompany you to your old age are all dogs.

23. Sometimes I don't know what I am insisting on, but I know I have been giving myself a hard time.

24. The highest level of boredom is to turn on the computer, press the phone and watch TV.

25. More often than not, there are no watermelons, no beer and no relatives around us.

26. I always thought I was not sorry for anyone, but now I know that I am most sorry for myself.

27. Until now, all I can afford is chopsticks.

It is said that the tears you shed are the water in your head.

29. In the face of beauty: danger can be saved, and no danger can create danger.

30. When I was an intern at the Meteorological Observatory, I finally figured out the probability of precipitation tomorrow% ~ The director found ten people in the office and asked, "Please raise your hand if you agree that it will rain tomorrow". As a result, three people raised their hands …

3 1. I love apples, and I like to eat them slowly, because I am afraid of choking, but if there is no prince to save me, the play can't be performed. So I have to turn a blind eye, or what should I do if I am kissed by a pig?

32. I'm so pure, I'm a little shameless!

33. Some people say that if you have a baby, you won't have dysmenorrhea. Have one!

34. If you pay taxes in the mirror, I'm afraid some women will go bankrupt.

35. Hands are willing to be rough for women.

36. There is an attitude called nonsense, that is, our life is so hard that we don't need to explain it at all.

37. Those who can't lose weight are always in turmoil, and those who can't gain weight have nothing to hide.

38. It doesn't matter if your head is empty. The key is not to get into the water.

39. Is the Mayan prediction accurate? If I am accurate, I won't have to do my homework.

40. If I look listless, I may be tired, I may be ill, and most likely. hungry ...

4 1. Never leave your name, only your business card.

42. I always think of the serious matter of losing weight after I am full and have nothing to do.

43. There are always a few friends who are very gentle when they first met, but after a few days, they don't know that mental illness has been released from that hospital.

44. The crowd searched for him for thousands of Baidu, and suddenly looking back, the man was in the canteen at the door.

45. I received a short message yesterday asking me to remit the money to an account of China Agricultural Bank. I replied: Don't worry, I'll burn it for you right away!

46. Gradually, gradually, some people will become cheap.

47. where you fall, where you get up ... always fall there, I suspect there is a pit!

48. When you go home during the Chinese New Year holiday, you should kneel down first: Sorry, Mom, I don't have a girlfriend yet.

49. Every time I face delicious food, I tell myself, "If I eat too much, I will die." But it turns out that I'm really not afraid of death.

50. Rome was not built in a day, nor was it built in a day.

5 1. It's almost the end of the world. If you have money, spend it quickly. If you die, it's useless.

52. I'm not RMB. How can everyone like me?

53. A man's words are like an old lady's teeth, how much is true.

54. When buying baked sweet potatoes, please ask the boss loudly what the stuffing is.

55. Ask what a sunny day is and ask someone to add a pair of cotton trousers.

56. The difference between me and Telunsu is! I have low purity, and Telunsu has high purity!

57. Since dating is not allowed, don't give out school uniforms, lest others say they are lovers' clothes.

58. What is the head teacher? Is to ruin your friendship! Destroy your love again! Don't let go of the X-phobes in your family!

59. The alarm clock is the third place among all sleeping goods and bed covers, so I have to keep it the same.

60. I haven't weighed myself for half a year because I know it.

6 1. I have two hobbies, static and dynamic. Quietly sleeping, moving over.

62. Girl, turn on Bluetooth and send me some love.

63. I hope Santa Claus can put the final exam answers of all subjects in my socks at the bedside on Christmas Eve.

64. It is not necessarily a virgin who cries, but a tiger who seduces a man.

65. If I don't hit you, you won't know that I am both civil and military.

66. Women conquer men with stockings, and men conquer banks with stockings.

67. Rogues are not terrible, but afraid of being educated.

68. Heroes don't ask for a way out, hooligans don't look at their age!

69. Have a big milk name and enjoy the treatment of mistresses!

70. Riding a white horse is not necessarily a prince, but a Tang priest; Those who have wings are not necessarily angels, but also birdmen!

7 1. There are two ways to pollute a place: garbage or money!

72. Can eggs from all over the world unite to break stones? ! So be realistic. ...

73. I'm not afraid that my enemies are like tigers, but my teammates are like pigs!

74. Women's clothes are called capital, while men's clothes are called perverts.

As a typical loser, you are really successful.

76. According to the pig's aesthetic, I am basically a handsome guy.

77. Life is sometimes like being raped by eunuch X-resistance is pain, not resistance is still pain!

78. Everyone says I am ugly, but in fact I am beautiful.

79. In order to cooperate with the completion of family planning work in China this year, I decided not to contact friends of the opposite sex for the time being. Thank you for your cooperation.

80. I'm not nice to you without money and power. Can you follow me?

8 1. I smoke because it hurts my lungs, and I am not sad.

82. Sleep is an art-no one can stop me from pursuing art!

83. You look very creative and live bravely!

84. My real life: count the money until I wake up naturally and sleep until my hand cramps. ...

85. Buying a computer without broadband is like being a monk without eating.

86. Missing after breaking up is not missing, but being mean.

87. It is said that women are like clothes and brothers are like brothers. In retrospect, I actually streaked for too many years as a chef!

88. Wear other people's shoes, go your own way and let them take a taxi to find it.

There is an old legend that people who can see beautiful women on the campus of Beihou University will live forever. ...

90. A lover who can be taken away is not a lover.

9 1. If the leader doesn't give me a raise next month, I will resign. Give him two more Chinese before resigning and kill him.

92. If pigs can fly, who will buy a plane? Ride a pig to heaven.

93. I can't find my tie again Didn't you find a rag yesterday?

94. In Egypt, a man can have four wives, which is very tiring. China is better.

95. You'd better let me kneel on the washboard. Kneeling on the electric heater is unbearable!

96. Even if I were a toad, I would never marry my mother toad.

97. I never felt a catty of white wine, because I died after drinking half a catty.

98. Reading newspapers in the toilet is equivalent to wiping your ass after defecation, which is a process, otherwise it is not called completion.

99. If the son is disobedient, he can fight appropriately, otherwise he will not show the majesty of Lao Tzu. Taiwan Province x problem is like this.

100. For my mother's birthday, it's better to send two bundles of bones to cook and eat, at least as a snack.

10 1. Grandpa was handed down by his grandson.