"Zhu Xi's Family Instructions" is only a few hundred words long, but it comprehensively explains Zhu Xi's principles for being a human being: benevolence, righteousness, etiquette, wisdom, and trustworthiness. "Zhu Xi's Family Instructions" is written in exquisite words, which is the condensation of Zhu Xi's thoughts on family management and life. "Zhu Xi's Family Instructions" advocates family harmony, interpersonal harmony, and emphasis on moral cultivation. As the saying goes: to be an official, you must be a good person first, and to be a good official first, to be a good family. Those who serve as officials must read "Zhu Xi's Family Instructions", must read it, must study it, and must use it.

(1) Promote family harmony

Family has been the basic cell of society since ancient times. For everyone, family is the starting point of life and a haven for rest and life. From celebrities to ordinary people, success in career cannot be separated from the support and help of the family. Building a warm home and creating a harmonious family life are what people have always pursued, whether in the past or in the future. Changing goals. Zhu Xi's "Family Instructions" provides a theoretical guide to achieve such a goal.

First of all, the "Family Instructions" requires parents to be "kind" and "teaching" to their children. He believes that "the most valuable thing in a father is kindness." The so-called "kindness" means that parents should love their children. The way of a university is to achieve the highest level of goodness. Parents’ love for their children must be the highest level of goodness. But parents must not pamper their children, as pampering is harmful. If the descendants are unworthy, it is impossible to indulge them, so Zhu Xi pointed out: "The descendants must be taught." Especially the problem of only children in contemporary society. They are regarded as the apple of their eyes by their parents and even their grandparents, and they are always accommodated and loved in every possible way. They have developed a self-centered and willful character in their children. They do not pay attention to the order of elders and children, do not understand politeness, etc. Everything is left to him, and he doesn't give any advice when he makes a mistake. He is called the "boss" in the family. If this kind of character is cultivated, it will have many negative effects on the growth of children. Therefore, while parents show love to their children, they must also strengthen their discipline. In childhood, people's expressions are uncertain and highly malleable. We must seize this favorable opportunity to educate them so that they can understand etiquette and the principles of life.

Secondly, the "Family Instructions" requires children to be "filial" to their parents. "The most precious thing in a child is filial piety." The so-called "filial piety" means that children should treat their parents well. When their parents are alive, their children should support and respect them. After their parents die, they should bury them with etiquette and sacrifice them with etiquette. The "filial piety" emphasized by Zhu Xi is sincere filial piety, which is the willingness of children to repay their parents for their upbringing. Parents work hard to raise their children and pour countless selfless love into their children. As children, once they become independent, they should take the initiative to take on the task of supporting their parents so that they can spend their old age peacefully. They should not only care about their parents materially, but also care about them financially. Mentally care about your parents, be kind and cheerful in front of your parents, and ask about your health and well-being more often. At the same time, children should be kind to themselves and not let their parents "please" them. In particular, they should prevent unfilial things from happening, such as laziness, gambling, fighting, etc.

Third, Zhu Xi's "Family Instructions" requires that the relationship between husband and wife should be harmonious. The relationship between husband and wife is the core and cornerstone of the family. "What a husband values ????is harmony; what a woman values ????is gentleness." The key to the love between husband and wife is the key to the love between husband and wife. The so-called "harmony" means that when joy, anger, sorrow, and joy are expressed, do not go to extremes and maintain a calm mind. The so-called "soft" means soft and gentle. If a husband and wife are gentle, they will love each other, and conflicts between husband and wife will be easily resolved.

Fourth, Zhu Xi's "Family Instructions" emphasizes the need for friendship between brothers. Brothers should not turn against each other, fight against each other, or go to war over trivial matters. He pointed out that "what a brother values ????is a friend; what a brother values ????is respect." The so-called "friend" means friendship, helping each other, and adversity and hardship. "Gong" means respect and humility. "Friendship" and "respect" are the foundation of unity between brothers and sisters. If you are not friendly and united with your own brothers and sisters, how can you talk about friendship and unite others?

In short, Zhu Xi's "Family Instructions" made an important discussion on the ethical and moral relationship between father and son, brothers, and husband and wife from the aspects of "kindness, teaching, filial piety, friendship, respect, harmony, and gentleness", pointing out that each The moral responsibilities and corresponding role obligations that individuals should fulfill in the family construct an ideal family picture of mutual care, love and harmony. These reasonable ideas have played an important role in maintaining and consolidating family relationships in long-term social practice. Today, it has very important guiding significance for each of our families.

(2) Advocating interpersonal harmony

From the perspective of the ultimate goal of human social development, what human beings pursue is a harmonious and happy society, which requires people and nature, people and people A harmonious unity is achieved between them, which is very similar to the way of doing things advocated by Zhu Xi in "Family Instructions".

Zhu Xi particularly emphasized in the article that in the process of interpersonal communication, we must insist on starting from ourselves, starting with me, that is, we must strive to "be careful not to talk about other people's shortcomings; never be too selfish for one's own strengths." "When interacting with others, don't expose people's shortcomings casually, speak ill of others behind their backs, or hurt other people's feelings. Don't show off yourself and look down on others because of your strengths or achievements in work. You should remain humble. As a person, you must not be arrogant or arrogant. When there is a conflict with others, the way to resolve the conflict is to "resolve the enemy with justice, and retaliate directly with the hater." People who hate themselves should use friendship to resolve it, and people who hate themselves should repay it with sincerity. Use a calm mind and a peaceful way to resolve conflicts. You must not retaliate or retaliate. No matter what environment you are in or when you have unpleasant things with others, you must "take it as it comes" and don't settle for trivial matters. They just hold grudges in their hearts, fight to be superior to others, and even hurt others with words and fists. When interacting with others, we must be tolerant of minor faults; be tolerant of minor faults; be reasonable in dealing with major faults. We must learn to understand and be tolerant, and treat others' minor faults with a tolerant attitude. In other words, if others make big mistakes, you should also do ideological work, persuade them with reason, use reason to make them understand their mistakes, and encourage them to change them.

Zhu Xi also emphasized in "Family Instructions" that "it is more important to serve a teacher than etiquette, and to make friends is more important than trust", "when you see the elderly, respect them, when you see the young, love them." Serving teachers should be Be polite, treat friends with integrity, respect elders when you meet them, and love children when you see them. "Do things without selfish hatred," "Don't express anger and retaliate for rebellion, and don't be disrespectful and harm things." People, regardless of whether they are rich or poor, big or small, tall, short, fat, or thin, must live in harmony. If everyone in society can do this, a harmonious, civilized, and progressive society will be established.

(3) Advocating the emphasis on morality and self-cultivation

Advocating the emphasis on morality and self-cultivation is another important thought in Zhu Xi’s "Family Instructions". He pointed out in "Family Instructions": "Even though a virtuous person is younger than me, I will respect him; an unworthy person, even though he is older than me, I will keep away from him." From this, we can see how much Zhu Xi attaches importance to virtue. There are striking similarities with the "morality first" educational thought we advocate today. In Zhu Xi's view, attaching importance to moral cultivation is the same as "clothes are to the body, and food is to the appetite. You can't live without it for a day, and you can't be careless!" He also put forward many philosophical insights on how to value morality and cultivate one's self. He believes that "when people are evil, cover it up; when people are good, promote it." This sentence refers to the attitude towards the good and evil behavior of others. People who do evil should be restrained, and people who do good should be publicized and praised. . He further pointed out: "Don't do good deeds because they are small and don't do them; don't do evil deeds because they are small." This means that no matter how small the good deeds are, you should actively do them, and no matter how small the evil deeds are, you should not do them. Don't think that you have done good deeds and ignore small evils. If you ignore small evils and allow them to exist and develop, they will become big evils. Being careless about details can lead to betrayal; only by paying attention to details and cultivating yourself carefully can you achieve high integrity. Zhu Xi also believed that good intentions and evil thoughts cannot exist in a person's spiritual river at the same time. The reason why people are good and evil is that the qi in their hearts can be divided into clear and turbid. The possibility of doing good is high, but those with weak Qing Qi are more likely to do evil.

Zhu Xi also further pointed out the key to cultivating Qing Qi: "Poems and books must be read, and etiquette and meaning must be understood." Poems and books refer to books by "sages", such as "Poems", "Books", "Books" and "Books". "Li", "Yue", "Yi", "Spring and Autumn" and other Confucian classics. Etiquette and righteousness refer to "filial piety, sincerity and respect", which means respecting the elderly and being honest. He believes that only by reading the "Holy Book" can one cultivate virtue, and only by knowing etiquette and justice can one nourish one's Qi. People become beautiful because of reading, and people become elegant because of knowing etiquette. Reading is cultural education, knowing etiquette is quality education, and reading to understand etiquette cannot be neglected. Zhu Xi also pointed out in "Family Instructions": "Don't benefit yourself by harming others" and "Don't take ill-gotten gains, but follow what is reasonable when you encounter it", further elaborating on the code of conduct for a human being. In terms of value orientation, we insist on putting the people first. When seeking benefits, we must not harm the interests of the people for personal interests, nor violate the law and harm morality for personal interests. When personal interests conflict with the interests of the people, the interests of the people must be followed.

On this basis, Zhu Xi further expanded the connotation of emphasizing virtue and self-cultivation. He pointed out: "You can't be disrespectful if you are polite, and you can't help others in times of trouble. Those who keep my distinction are polite." He believed that people with knowledge and literacy should be respected. , to help those in need, these are the duties of being a human being.

Zhu Xi's simplicity and kindness

From "Zhu Xi's Family Instructions", we can see that Zhu Xi is a simple and kind-hearted old man. He not only gave us incisive theoretical expositions on family harmony, interpersonal harmony, emphasizing virtue and self-cultivation, but also provided spiritual guidance for future generations in action.

Zhu Xi’s filial piety to his parents is deeply touching. He lost his father when he was young and was dependent on his mother. Unfortunately, his mother died of illness when he was forty years old. In order to maintain his filial piety, he built Hanquan Jingshe (also known as Fanggu Academy) next to the tomb, where he wrote books, lectured and taught disciples until The three-year period of guarding the tomb and paying filial piety has expired. Zhu Xi's affection for his wife is deeply touching. Just before he died, he was still holding his sick body, clenching his teeth, holding a pen and writing a "Tomb Sacrifice" for his deceased wife Liu Qingsi, expressing that he would never forget the love between his husband and wife until his death: "The years are changing, the rain and dew are wet, I miss you." Your voice and appearance will always be separated by the spring soil. Even if you are sick, I can't be close to you. I understand that you have knowledge and still know what I mean." It can be seen that true love overflows in the text.

Zhu Xi also left many good stories in educating his children. Zhu Xi's eldest son, Zhu Shu, was naughty and playful. Zhu Xi was afraid that Zhu Shu would not be able to concentrate at home and delay his studies, so he sent him thousands of miles away from his knees to study with Lu Zuqian in Jinhua County, Wuzhou (now Jinhua City, Zhejiang Province). Before leaving, Zhu Xi also wrote a "Teaching the Son from Learning Poster" and handed it to Zhu Shu. The post contains all the admonitions from small things in daily life to specific ways of dealing with others. It can be said that love leads to teaching, kindness leads to love. Once, Zhu Xi went to the home of his son-in-law Huang Qian. Huang Qian was working abroad. His daughter Zhu Dui could only prepare green onion soup and wheat rice to entertain her father who had not seen him for a long time because of her family poverty. She felt really guilty. Zhu Xi knew his daughter's thoughts, and said to her with a smile: "My son, please don't mind. This dish is extraordinary and delicious." After eating, Zhu Xi walked into the study, spread out the rice paper, dipped it in thick ink, and wrote. Wrote a poem: "Onion soup, wheat and rice are both suitable. Onion supplements Dantian and wheat to cure hunger. I don't know that the taste is thin, and there is still time for the village to cook." My daughter Zhu Dui read this poem by her loving father, and her face was filled with emotion. A relieved smile appeared. Later, this poem became the Huang family motto and became famous all over the world.

When it comes to making friends, Zhu Xi, whether they are like-minded colleagues or incompatible enemies, "cite ordinary scholars, Confucian scholars, poets, Taoist scholars, Tian Fuye Lao" as long as they are virtuous. Can be regarded as a confidant. His students recalled that Zhu Xi "treated the woodcutter in the wild as if he were a guest, without any fuss." When he was serving as an official in eastern Zhejiang Province, Chen Liang of the Yongkang School of Neo-Confucianism, who was only a commoner, came to his door. The debate lasted ten days about "king's dominance, justice and interests". In the following ten years, the two exchanged letters and became close friends by discussing enemies.

Zhu Xi was indifferent to fame and fortune throughout his life, stayed in poverty, and never took ill-gotten gains. He lived an unfortunate life. He lost his father when he was young, his spouse in middle age, his young daughter died in infancy, his sister died young, and he lost his son in his later years. His life was quite poor, and his house had no shelter from wind and rain. Zhao Ruyu felt sorry for his poverty and wanted to build a house for him. He declined politely and said: "This is a private residence, and we should not bother with lawsuits." Zhao You pitied his poverty and was willing to use one or two weeks of his salary to help him, but Zhu Xi repeatedly declined. Zhu Xi politely declined all gifts of property from others that were in violation of the law. However, he reciprocated gifts from relatives and friends generously. Lu Zuqian's wife died, Lu Youzi died, and Zhu Xi lived in the countryside for a long time. He was well aware of the suffering of the people, and had the idea of ??helping the poor and caring for the people since he was a child. Zhu Xi was an official for a short period of time, and his official career was summarized. Calculated based on actual service, he served as an official for more than seven years (three years as the registrar of Tong'an County, two years as the Nankang Army in Jiangxi Province, and nine months as the official official of Changping Salt in East Zhejiang). , he was appointed as the governor of Zhangzhou for one year, he was appointed as the governor of Tanzhou and the pacifier of Hunan Road for more than two months, and he was appointed as the lecturer of Huanzhang Pavilion for forty-six days). Everywhere he went as an official, Zhu Xi paid great attention to the management of famine. He emphasized agriculture and mulberry, promoted water conservancy, established business circles, neglected tax collection, punished corrupt officials, and dealt with powerful people. The Shecang he founded in 1171 petitioned the imperial court to enact various state armies and rescued countless victims. It was hailed as "the economic miracle of the pre-Confucian people". Today, Zhu Xi's warehouse is still intact, telling people the story of the simple and kind-hearted Zhu Xi who saved famine and cared for the people.