If a person asks me what factors are needed for success?
I would just shake my head. Then read a passage from Viktor Frankl:
"Don't just think about success - the more you think about success, the easier it is to fail. Success, like happiness, can be encountered but not sought. It is A natural product, a derivative of a person's unconscious devotion to a great cause, or a by-product of his dedication to others. Happiness will always come, and the same goes for success: it is often unintentional. I hope that you will obey your conscience in all your actions and use knowledge to realize it. One day, of course, after a long time - note, I said after a long time - it is precisely because of this! If you don’t pay attention, success will come to you.”
Why do people pursue success?
My personal understanding: For millions of years, human beings, like all other species on the earth, have faced severe tests in the process of evolution, but why are humans standing at the top of the species? I doubt it at all. This may be due to an anthropocentric concept)? There is a point in "A Brief History of Mankind" that can construct illusory images, the most representative of which is totem. So why does illusory imagery play an important role in human evolution (I dare not say it is a decisive role)? Illusory images can allow humans to create something called "consciousness and unity". This thing is great. It sublimates people from social animals to one body and mind. It is this high degree of collaboration that allows humans to fight against natural disasters. When threatened by other species, it gathers powerful power, and people can even pay for it with their lives. Later, the consciousness was further refined, dividing human beings into several consciousness identity groups, the most representative of which is religion. Since the birth of religion, this conflict of consciousness has triggered religious wars for thousands of years. , until now. Of course, there are also racial discrimination, white supremacy, etc. that exist in Western countries, which are the side effects of "consciousness".
Having said all that, what does this have to do with success?
It is related. There are two reasons:
The construction of a unified consciousness requires the establishment of a unified value concept in the consciousness identity group, which is called universal values ??(universal does not refer to the whole world, but only refers to within the scope of a group) . This is reflected in the fact that one is rule compliance, which has now become law, and it is also a value commitment, which has now become morality. The so-called success is the value promise built in this kind of consciousness. It is an individual’s surrender to the moral system constructed by society.
Judging from the current level of civilization, this success value theory still has a certain market, but the concept of success as the criterion is being challenged.
People began to shift from thinking about what is success to thinking about what is a good life.
What is the relationship between success and a good life? Is it one piece?
I believe that success is the result of a person's hard work after succumbing to the internal and external judgmental consciousness established by the outside world (I do not deny that some people have the same internal and external goals, thereby achieving a happy flow state); in addition, A small number of people start from following their hearts, face the life they live in, and reconstruct their inner order with the values ????that they recognize. These people are lonely and will not achieve the so-called success in society, but they are extremely likely to succeed. It is possible to have a good life.
I am in favor of facing life from the starting point of pursuing a good life. The reasons are as follows:
First of all, success is a phased experience (very short-lived) and is not sustainable. A good life is a long-term effort that requires constant awareness. (I don’t want to expand on this. People who have been exposed to psychology and sociology will understand this sentence at a glance.)
Secondly, success It is an ultimate goal, not a methodology. To achieve a good life requires moment-by-moment experience and immediate feedback, which is more operable.
In the end, the value of social success is a slave to fame and fortune. He can only gain happiness at the moment when the master recognizes it, and he wears heavy anklets at other times.
A good life is a state in itself, with the goal of breaking free from anklets.
Here, I would like to emphasize whether success is necessarily undesirable, whether it has become something evil, and whether we should fight against it and avoid it. Let me say something for sure here: This is not the case!
Fitzgerald has a famous saying: "It is a sign of first-class wisdom that a person can hold two opposite ideas at the same time and still act normally."
We need both Living within the value system of society, we must also live out the meaning of our own lives.
As Csikszentmihané said, an excellent person can realize the value of self-identity within the rules established by others. This is the value logic of pursuing a good life. Of course, we have to go back to Frankl's words, don't always think about success, live your life well, success will come unexpectedly.
How to pursue a good life? The following suggestions are put forward:
First, recognize the diversity of value pursuits. This world is not just about money and fame, but also about love, devotion and beauty.
You have to live in the constructed community of social consciousness, but as long as you follow the bottom line rules, under this premise, which kind of life style you think is worthy of your pursuit, that is a good life , that makes sense.
The second is to continue to maintain inner awareness and surrender. To me, don’t tell me anything about success. Some people don’t even have the capital to succeed. Just like me, being able to live peacefully is a gift from God. For a period of time, I have been too concerned about the opinions of others, including those of my parents, bosses, colleagues, and friends. I feel anxious and panicked in my heart. Sometimes I even say two sentences to myself, often out of nowhere: fuck. !I once doubted whether I would develop a mental illness. In the past few years, I have read a lot of psychology books and found three problems. The first problem is that ordinary people have this kind of mentality and will be anxious and doubtful! Don't take it too seriously! The second question is that human courage comes from accepting inner emotions. It is not about winning through confrontation (the effect will be counterproductive). Only by being aware of and surrendering to the heart can one achieve inner peace. Now I rely on reading and writing to reconstruct With the inner order, the anxiety symptoms in the heart have been reduced a lot! The third problem is that success is futile and short-lived. Emperors and slaves end up the same, returning to dust. The only thing we have to do is to cherish those valuable qualities, such as love, respect, peace, etc.
The third is to live with a positive attitude. Our only social responsibility is to live your life well and have a positive influence on the people around you. You don’t need to pay too much. You just need not to cause chaos to society and be a positive person. If you have different values , just live according to your own ideas, but don’t ask others.
The fourth is to do more things with long half-life cycles. Whether something has value depends on its half-life cycle, which can be long or short. For example, if you watch an entertainment drama, you will be fine after watching it. This is a short-term thing and has no value. But if you write a review article after watching the drama, then what you have done is a long-term thing. Decline cycle thing. No matter what you do, if you can achieve continuous output, then what you are doing is something with a meaningful long half-life cycle.
The fifth is to provide immediate feedback and be a long-termist. Humans are animals that need immediate feedback. Immediate feedback (satisfaction) can continuously bring people the ability to act. On the other hand, an important ability of human beings is the ability to delay gratification. If you can continue to do things on the edge of your comfort zone, you can output. If you persist in doing something for a long time, you will have a high probability of success. Even in the process of continuous output, you will have flow, reconstruct your heart, and encounter happiness. It doesn't matter whether the final goal is achieved or not. Long-termists also have a character: if you encounter an unfavorable environment or something you can't do anything about, tell yourself, grit your teeth, time will resolve everything!
Sixth, improve the complexity of your own cognition. The greatest tragedy of a person's life in this world is not how much suffering you have suffered, not the way you live, not your identity, not your value, but the prejudice and ignorance in your heart.
The last one is to often give your soul a vacation, don’t push yourself too hard, and don’t pursue perfection in everything. Sometimes we can do a lot, and when things go well, we are proud of ourselves; sometimes, we can What you can do is very limited, and you can clearly see your own cowardice in difficult situations! Don't blame yourself too much, let yourself go! Don’t live too compactly. If you are tired, you can let yourself do nothing. You can close your eyes and feel your breathing. You can look into the distance from the window sill and let time pass quietly!
We don’t need to force ourselves to do or have too many things, we just need to do what our heart desires! You will still be yourself, you will always be yourself, and you will find that your true self has always lived in your heart, a conscious and healthy self!