The more parents want to control their children, it shows that they love them, and they want to prove that their parents are right through their children's mistakes, and they want their children to obey their parents' arrangements. Sometimes, parents love their children too much, but they will hurt them. This is called overwork. For example, overconfidence will lead to complacency, overwork will lead to disgust, too quiet life will lead to loss and emptiness, too much control will lead to rebellion, and too much study will lead to powerlessness. These excesses will cause psychological suffocation, pressure reversal or psychological collapse.
What are the world famous sayings? Do you suffer if you don't listen to the old man? 、? Is it the godfather's fault? Parents are afraid that their children will make mistakes when they can't see. Commonly used? Pretty picky? The child made one mistake and will continue to make other mistakes, especially in the case of a fierce argument with the child. Parents will feel that the child is out of control, and losing his mind will deny other aspects of the child. This is called total denial under excessive emotions. In educating children, the potential subconscious mind is a one-way thinking mode, that is, parents are authoritative, right and wrong are clear, and parents' duty is to educate children in their own way.
The logical mode of one-way thinking will judge right and wrong. In the book Parents Break Through written by Dr. Dong Jinyu, it is said that parents will unconsciously put themselves in the right chair, while for children, they will naturally put their children in the wrong chair. When they see that the child has shortcomings or fails to complete as expected, they will confidently deny the child completely. When a child makes a mistake, if the child is in conflict with his parents, he will deny the child when he is angry and see no advantages of the child. The relationship between parents and children will form a fixed relationship state after many years. For example, children will be afraid of their parents and grandparents.
We often say that personality is inherited by nature, but the real reason is not. The example of Wolf Child tells us that the beginning of life is a blank sheet of paper, but what has he read? The beginning of life is naturally good? Or advocated by Xunzi? Theory of evil nature? . It is an innate instinct, because we can't choose our parents, the family environment and the surrounding environment of our lives determine and restrict our interpersonal relationship, so we have trained the behavioral habit of conditioned reflex.
Children have a sense of property rights since they were three years old, that is, the meaning of individual independence began to form, and the lack of security is an innate instinctive reaction. All our relationships with our surroundings, including our parents' relatives, are also established through interaction and communication, and we are equal and free in personality. However, a person's ideological maturity is basically completed after the age of 20, and parents need supervision before the age of 20.
Parents' love is selfless, and children from other families are neglected. Children should also understand the good intentions of their parents. Sometimes, parents discipline their children in an incorrect way, which requires correct two-way communication and understanding. When problems arise, we should understand them from multiple angles and solve them in the right way, instead of passively strengthening our mentality with collapse. We should always be grateful to our parents for their love. Only by being grateful can we not lose our minds. Only when we have good positive communication, it is always more difficult to stick to our methods.