Yang Huo: I asked, "Three years of mourning has been a long time. If a gentleman is not polite for three years, the courtesy will be bad; If you don't have fun for three years, have fun. The old valley has gone, the new valley is rising, and the time has passed. Confucius said, "A husband eats his husband's rice, and a wife eats his wife's brocade. How can he be at ease with a woman?" Say it, Ann. ""female Ann, for it! Husband and wife are in mourning and don't want to eat, listen to music and live, so they don't do it. This woman is safe, so do it! "Kill me out. Confucius said, "It's unkind to do it! The child was born for three years, and then he was separated from his parents. After the husband's three-year mourning, there is no mourning in the world, and there are three years to love his parents? "
This passage records the conversation between Confucius and Zaiming, to the effect that Zaiming asked Confucius: "Three years of filial piety is too long, and one year is long enough. If a gentleman does not salute in the middle of three years, the ceremony will be abolished; If you don't play music for three years, the music must be destroyed. The old grain is used up, the new grain is harvested, and it's time to drill wood for fire and firewood. One year will do. " Confucius said, "Are you comfortable after eating and putting on silk and satin clothes?" The slayer said to me, "Ann." Confucius said, "Do it if you feel at ease! During the mourning period, a gentleman doesn't feel sweet when eating good food, unhappy when listening to good music, and uncomfortable in daily life, so he won't do that. Now, if you are at ease, just do it. " After killing me, Confucius said, "It's cruel to kill me. When a son is born, he can't leave his parents' arms until he is three. The three-year mourning period is a common mourning period in the world. Kill me. You were spoiled by his parents for three years? "
It has been a tradition in China for thousands of years to observe filial piety for three years after the death of parents, which has continued to this day. Killing me mercilessly, I have long been spurned. With the passage of time, although the form of filial piety has changed, the three-year contract is still in people's hearts and is regarded as a great gift by the world. There are many customs in Huaibei that pay attention to filial piety, which endows the "three-year mourning period" with rich connotations.
The dutiful son wears white shoes for three years. In the old days, the white shoes of dutiful sons were temporarily sewn on the day when their parents died. The soles and uppers are white, and there is no dichroism. Now the dutiful son no longer sews white shoes, but buys white sour shoes or sports shoes and leather shoes directly from the store. After liberation, the time to wear white shoes gradually shortened. Nowadays, the popular suits don't match sneakers, and the pace of life is fast. They are busy with production and going out in public places, and they no longer require to wear white shoes. They can wear it for three months in the countryside and ten and a half months in the city, which means it's just right. Most commemorative ceremonies of the Fifth Period were held in Dai Xiao with black veil.
There will be no wedding in three years. Future generations, even if the wedding date is fixed, have to change. Some people get things done when the old man is dying. There is also a saying called "Chong Xi", which can wash away the pain of the elderly. Others waited for three years for various reasons, and immediately after the old man was buried, he held a wedding, without putting up the word "hi", setting off firecrackers and listening to the sound (horn). If you want to hold a happy event in the future, you can accommodate it for three years.
No steaming lights on the fifteenth day of the first month for three years. Huaibei has the custom of steaming noodles on the fifteenth day of the first month. Pinch 1-12 fold on the surface lamp, corresponding to 12 months of a year. After boiling, infer the drought and flood of the month from the steam water stored in the lamp and predict the year. During the three-year mourning period, people have no right to steam lanterns, but they can light them. The neighbor wrapped three five-sided lights in a cage cloth and sent them, saying that they were for the children to light. Master, thank you. It is not the value of a few lamps, but that people can think of themselves and miss their old friends together. Popular people can receive dozens or hundreds of lights.
Three-year Spring Festival couplets (Spring Festival couplets) are not posted. During the Spring Festival, couples who don't stick their doors don't listen. People passing by the door will know at a glance that this family has changed, and they will sigh for it and read: this ancient family has passed away. By the third Spring Festival, you can put up yellow or blue doors. Relatives are also very picky about their parents. Brother and sister-in-law died, brother was young, and a ceremony was held for the elderly. An uncle and aunt died, his father was young, and his parents were still alive. Parents' ceremonies should also be held. If your brother and sister are dead, your brother is an elder, your uncle and aunt are dead, your parents are alive, and your father is an elder, you can paste a red door pair. Sometimes cousins turn against each other if they don't handle it well.
Three years without good luck. It is said that things are not going well within three years after the death of parents, so we should be extra cautious in everything, don't take risks, don't run big businesses, and don't fight evil with others. This is probably because I am extremely sad, unstable and easy to make mistakes. Sometimes a dutiful son fights evil with others, and people will persuade him with "three years without good results." Filial sons are easy to accept, and opponents who fight evil will be humble.
These customs are used to persuade people to respect their parents, set an example to educate their children, guide fathers and sons to be filial, and make interpersonal relationships orderly and society harmonious, bearing traditional virtues. Although today is gone forever, these customs are still solemnly preserved in people's hearts. Although it is difficult to perform the ceremony of three years of filial piety, it is about three years in the hearts of the world.