Delayed gratification, an important cornerstone on the road to success

The extent of a person's achievements is directly proportional to the extent to which he can delay the gratification of existing desires. To paraphrase a famous saying: Successful people are generally the same, but unsuccessful people all have their own reasons. This "sameness" is moderation. Laziness is part of human nature, but once you have a goal, you must control yourself and not be lazy. People who can overcome this nature can achieve something. This is what we call self-discipline. Everyone will encounter difficulties, setbacks, and various temptations on the way to success. Those who can resist temptation and persevere to the end are successful people.

And this ability of moderation needs to be cultivated from an early age, and it must be cultivated from an early age. Before the age of 3 is a very important start for cultivating children's ability to control and self-discipline. To cultivate this ability, we must start by cultivating children's delayed gratification. Children who can delay gratification can slowly learn to do their own things. Master, control your behavior and know to use reason to defeat emotion.

The so-called delayed gratification is what we usually call "patience and moderation". In order to pursue greater goals and gain greater enjoyment, you can restrain your desires and give up the temptations in front of you. But "delayed gratification" is not simply about letting children learn to wait, nor is it about blindly suppressing their desires. It is the ability to overcome current difficult situations and strive to obtain long-term benefits. And if the ability to delay gratification is insufficiently developed, it is easy to be impatient and impatient. After entering adolescence, it is easy to be shy and stubborn in social interactions, easily upset when encountering setbacks, and shrink back or be at a loss when encountering pressure.

The ability to be patient and wait for a long time is a sign of a child's strength or weakness in self-control, because not everything in life goes as planned.

It has become a common problem among urban children that they cannot restrain their desires. However, it is the approach of most parents to be obedient to their children or to have a battle of wits and courage with their children but fail after three minutes of crying and obediently comply with their children's demands. Especially when the elderly are taking care of their children. Parents' responsiveness to their children's demands deprives their children of the opportunity to exercise their "self-control abilities." And "delayed gratification" training can help children improve their self-control abilities, learn to wait, share, and be more resistant to setbacks.

Children with strong ability to delay gratification are more likely to develop stronger social competitiveness and higher work and study efficiency in the future; they have stronger self-confidence and can better cope with setbacks in life. , pressure and difficulties; when pursuing your own goals, you are better able to resist the temptation of immediate gratification and achieve long-term, more valuable goals.

The ability to delay gratification should be cultivated step by step, starting with things that are easy to control. After more than ten years of passing on the concept, children will internalize it as a quality and ability of their own.

Cultivating children’s ability to “delay gratification” is inseparable from parents’ encouragement. When young children strive to "refresh" their own records as required by adults, parents must affirm their children and give them some small rewards so that they can gain motivation to persevere. In addition, if the child insists on obtaining immediate gratification, parents should not force the child to persist deliberately, because it is difficult for young babies to consciously control their desires.

"Responsive to requests" is actually a kind of "love poison". If things go on like this, children will develop a habit. As long as they think it is beneficial to themselves, they will act blindly, regardless of right or wrong. They don't know how to be humble and have no patience. They have to ask their parents for help in everything they do. They cannot sit still when studying and are easily addicted to stimulating computer games. Most of them have bad tempers and will contradict or even run away from home at the slightest criticism.

American psychologists once conducted a psychological experiment on "delayed gratification". Delayed gratification is what we usually call "patience". In order to pursue greater goals and gain greater enjoyment, you can restrain your desires and give up the temptations in front of you. In fact, those who commit crimes on impulse often cannot restrain their desires that expand in an instant.

On the contrary, those who are successful in their careers are often able to accumulate small desires one after another and become a driving force that continuously motivates them to move forward.

Cultivating children’s patience should start with the little things in life. The trick is to “delay gratification”, so that children can learn to wait and learn to get what they want through their own efforts.

He learned to "delay gratification". In this way, he will know how to set ambitious goals and ideals and develop good character and habits as he grows up. If you blindly meet your child's requirements, your baby will become more and more impatient, spoiled, and impatient.

Delayed gratification is one of the manifestations of self-control in young children. It reflects whether a child can control his immediate impulses and give up the choice of immediate gratification for more valuable long-term results when faced with various temptations. orientation, and self-control demonstrated during the waiting period. (Inspirational quotes m.taiks.com) Delayed gratification is not only the core component and the most important skill of young children's self-control, but also an important component of children's socialization and emotional regulation. It is also a basic and positive personality that accompanies people throughout their lives. Factors are an important symbol for children to move from childishness to maturity and from dependence to independence.

Premature gratification gives children the illusion that their parents are omnipotent. A freshman in high school watched other people go abroad, and did not consider the hard work of a single mother raising him. He wanted to go abroad to study. After seven years, he got a worthless college diploma abroad and spent more than 1 million of his parents' money. But He thinks his mother should.

Premature satisfaction makes children lose their will to fight and feel that there is no need to work so hard. What about parents in life? Moonlight, Ken Lao, and a series of new young people come to the fore. On the contrary, in this case, it would be a bit silly to study hard.

Premature satisfaction makes children feel that things in this world are too easy, there is no need to work hard, there is no need to be worried, and they can just muddle along.

With premature satisfaction, children experience fewer setbacks. Therefore, when encountering difficulties and sufferings in life, they often fail miserably and cannot withstand the storm, which means that their psychological quality is extremely poor. Once they fail, they will never be able to withstand the storm. Difficult to turn over.

If you are satisfied too early, your child will pay the price throughout his life. If you are satisfied early and have enjoyed everything, what is the meaning of life? Once a negative outlook on life is formed, life will really come to an advanced stage.

To educate children to learn to "delay gratification", we must teach them from an early age not to covet comfort. Arrange the order of pleasure and pain in life. First of all, we must face the suffering in life bravely, because without this suffering, there will be no happiness in the future. Therefore, learning is hard, struggle is hard, and diligence is hard, but this kind of pain is the source of sweetness.

To teach children to "delay gratification", we need to let them have a tolerant and broad mind, be able to endure and tolerate temporary difficulties and hardships, and tolerate the temporary arrogance and arrogance of others. Tolerate other people's criticism, criticism and frame-up of you. If you do this, it will be difficult for the children you cultivate if they are not qualified, and if they are not successful, it will be meaningless. If they are not the masterpieces of life, then they are the masterpieces of God that have not yet been discovered.

1. Delay gratification and let children learn to wait

Only by letting children learn to "wait" and be satisfied in expectations will they cherish this hard-won happiness. For example, when we are at the entrance of the kindergarten, we see that we want to buy this or that, but the parents refuse to go home if they don’t buy it. At this time, parents should be especially able to calm down and reason with their children: Mom’s salary this month is not much left, and she still has to use it to buy vegetables, pay electricity bills, water bills, etc. If you buy these toys, you won’t have money to pay the electricity and water bills. Wait until mom gets paid next month before buying it for you, okay? After parents’ patient explanation, I believe that most children can accept their parents’ suggestions, restrain their desire to buy toys, and keep their hope in waiting. While waiting, children learn to understand others. Of course, parents must honor their words.

2. Delay gratification and let children learn to share

When children enter a small group and society like kindergarten, it is also complicated and difficult for them to deal with. For example, a toy that one likes also likes by a companion and cannot be kept as one's own. These problems are rarely encountered by children at home. Therefore, in daily education, parents should delay gratification for their children and infiltrate sharing education so that their children can gradually develop a peaceful attitude toward things around them. For example, if there is something that a child particularly likes to eat at home, the parents are reluctant to eat it and leave it all to the child. This approach seems to love the child, but it is actually harmful to the child.

3. Delay gratification and let children learn to resist setbacks

Today’s children cannot bear it psychologically when they encounter a little difficulty or setback in life, and they lose hope of solving the problem. It will be placed on the parents. What about our parents? What's more, I can't bear to see my children suffer any grievances or setbacks. I always hope that my children's lives will be smooth and smooth, but is this possible in real life? Even if the child successfully overcomes the difficulties with your help, what the child will get is only temporary happiness. Children cannot truly experience the joy of success without going through the painful process of setbacks.

Delaying gratification and cultivating children’s good character can be said to be a long-term educational project. The key is that parents must have a correct understanding, a correct educational attitude and a perseverance in educating their children. Be willing to let your children suffer a little hardship and suffer a little frustration. In this way, our children will be calm and calm as they move from family to society, and will not be intimidated by difficulties; when they enter society in the future, they will be able to move forward bravely no matter what storms they encounter.

The purpose of "delayed gratification" is to train children's self-control ability and learn patience. Children with the ability to delay gratification will be more likely to succeed in future studies, will be more patient in their future lives, and will be easier to adapt to society. Therefore, parents should not blindly satisfy their children because they love them. Delaying gratification can help children achieve greater success in the future.

Delayed gratification is a character and an ability. The preschool stage is a critical period for the development of children's initiative. Junior high school and high school are periods when children's self-awareness changes rapidly. Therefore, at these stages, an atmosphere should be created to allow children to obtain psychological and material satisfaction through independent and proactive actions. , and at the same time, certain guidance and constraints must be given, especially to postpone the satisfaction of their needs in some situations.