Children's education has always been a major event for the whole family, from the "Three Lucks" in Meng Mu, the "Killing Pigs" in Ceng Zi, to the modern parents of chickens and babies, all of which reflect parents' attention to education. Teaching children before class and teaching wives at the bedside comes from ancient Zhu Xi's family instructions. Objectively speaking, the second half of the sentence "teaching your wife at the bedside" is still commendable. After all, it is easy to discuss things when there are only young couples, but teaching children in front of the class is no longer applicable in modern times and must be eliminated!

The so-called pre-class education of children means educating children in front of others and directly criticizing them after they make mistakes, so as to ensure that children will not make mistakes again. This view is also highly respected by many parents, because they found that after this, the children really became more "obedient". But parents must be reminded that the essence of the so-called pre-class teacher is to stimulate children to feel ashamed through the external environment and other people present, so as to correct their mistakes.

But is shame really useful? Actually, it is not. In this case, the child's main thoughts are placed in the external environment. Most of them have never reflected on their hearts and just want to escape as soon as possible, an environment that makes them feel ashamed. What really makes people deeply reflect and have the opportunity to realize their wrong emotions is guilt. Guilt is an emotion that comes from introspection on someone or something because of one's wrong behavior, and it is internal.

Shame is external, just like a teacher in front of the whole class and a child pointed out by his parents in front of outsiders. This "public punishment" treatment has greatly hurt children's self-esteem. This kind of influence is diverse and far-reaching, and it is likely to produce psychological problems of inferiority and self-abandonment. After entering adolescence, it is easier to grow into a rebellious teenager who gives parents a headache.

Hu Shi, a famous modern thinker, recorded in My Mother: "My mother never scolds me in front of others. If I do something wrong, my mother will choose to close the door at night to educate me. " In this way, Hu Shi's concept of educating children has also been affected. Finally, under his inculcation, his son Hu Zuwang was admitted to Cornell University, a famous American school, and worked as an engineer in Steppunk Automobile Factory and China Airlines, which was a successful career.

In that case, why do many parents like to give their children lessons before class? It is not that they don't know the harm of doing so, but that it is the embodiment of their authority and ability. In essence, it is not purely for educating children. Another possibility is that you can do nothing about education. Educate children in front of outsiders, hoping to get their affirmation or help, because if relatives and neighbors are present, they will definitely speak for their parents, hoping that children will be sensible and obedient.

To sum up, it is not advisable to teach children before class, and children should not be discouraged. The cost of educating children is very high, which requires parents to invest time, money, energy and wisdom. It is not easy to train children into useful people overnight, but you also need enough patience and confidence. So, parents, have you ever criticized and educated your children in public and in front of outsiders?