These three books are most relevant to our daily life, and the most practical and instructive one should be Discovering Flow: The Best Experience of Daily Life published by 1998. The author introduces the methods of entering the flow experience in daily life, which is worth learning.
First of all, about work
Think of work as a game
Think of work as a game. I remember Radlio also introduced his experience in principle. Think of what happens at work as an upgrade. When we look at work from different angles, it gives work more interest and emotion.
Mihaly's research found that most flow in adult life occurs at work, not at play. People spend more than one third of their time at work. If you want to improve your life experience, you can't help but pay attention.
Why can work stimulate flow instead? In fact, you may have overlooked that work and games are very similar.
1. The game has clear advanced goals and rules, and there is work. Every company has its own rules and regulations.
2. The boss's evaluation is an immediate feedback.
3. Employees face many challenges and need skills to deal with them.
So how do you turn work into a game?
1. Choose your own goals, create value and make your work more meaningful.
The classical teacher used this trick when giving lectures in New Oriental. During the summer vacation, he had four classes every day, 10 hours, for 60 days in a row, and he was very tired. So he arranged an extra small goal for himself, and listed 10 lecturer skills such as telling jokes, making people cry, speaking fast and telling stories, and practiced a class every day. Cycle 6 times, happy summer vacation.
2. Adjust the difficulty of the task and break down the big goal into several small goals that you can control and feedback.
For example, the teacher teaches us to practice oral English, which is to divide a paragraph into two stages: listening and reading. Every stage has different challenges and tasks every day. One day listening to continuous reading, one day pausing, one day listening to losing … and so on. Focus on different tasks every day and divide the big goals into small goals, so as to improve the overall level of English listening and reading.
3. Turn a boring job into an interesting challenge.
Teacher Wu Zhihong once shared that in a seemingly boring job, she tried to break through herself and improve work efficiency. As a result, every day's work has become a small challenge, creating a new workplace for yourself and making boring interesting.
Second, about leisure.
Why do you watch TV and brush your mobile phone all day, thinking about relaxing, only to find that you are still in poor spirits and occasionally feel empty and irritable?
The author found that compared with work, people seldom have a heart flow in their leisure time, because they lack goals and challenges and have no energy to devote themselves to leisure, so leisure becomes boring. Therefore, even in leisure, there is still a lot of room for improvement in your quality of life.
How to create a flow experience in leisure?
The answer is active leisure.
What is active leisure? The author defines it as those activities that require some brains and thoughts to enjoy it. For example, playing chess, reading books, cooking, playing basketball ... these are all active leisure, and you need to devote yourself to thinking about the way of every movement, the meaning of every page of the book and every step of cooking all the time to achieve the ideal result.
Third, about interpersonal relationships.
How to create a flow experience in interpersonal relationships? The answer given by the author is: share the goal.
This book gives a particularly shocking example:
A female schizophrenic was hospitalized for more than ten years. Her thinking is not clear and her mood changes little, so she can't live independently at all. Through the two-week emotional record, the doctor found that she was in high spirits twice in the past two weeks, just when she was cutting her nails. After the doctor found out about this, he called a professional manicurist to teach her manicure, and the patient was particularly willing to learn. Soon, she began to manicure other patients. Since then, her temperament has also changed 180 degrees, and her condition has gradually improved. Later, she was discharged from the hospital, put on her own nail tag, and became independent in less than a year.
Specific suggestions in different relationships given in the book.
1. At home.
If the child behaves well in school, the whole family will be proud of him; Mother is in a bad mood, and her family should also give comfort and encouragement. Everyone has each other's goals in mind.
2. In the relationship between husband and wife.
When men and women get along for a long time and know each other's thoughts like the back of their hands, their love life may become routine. At this time, we need to explore new challenges and inject some complexity into our relationship.
For example, you can pay attention to what you don't know about each other and get to know each other's thoughts from a deeper level.
3. Between friends.
Spend more energy to get to know your friend and find out what makes him different.
We should not only affirm each other, but also influence each other, try a new way of life and help each other grow.
In interpersonal communication, we should also pay attention to sharing goals. No matter at home, in love, or with friends, we should pay attention to other people's goals, and then find out the goals that are consistent with others.