Gentleness and patience are the way to survive. Too soft, it will be frustrated; If you are too rigid, you will collapse. If people blindly pursue rigidity, they will lose their flexibility. If they are too rigid in thinking, they will certainly ignore the role of flexibility. Real life should be a life of combining rigidity with softness, which is the highest wisdom in life.
There is no forever strong person or forever weak person in the world. People should not be opinionated, but they should not be weak. The so-called combination of rigidity and softness means defeating the strong with weakness and forcing softness.
The ancients said: the dead are easy to break, and the wise are easy to pollute. The same is true of being a man. You must combine hard and soft, haste makes waste, and go too far.
It's easy to be square at first, and easy to be round when it's soft. Being a man, using Fiona Fang, combining rigidity with softness is a comprehensive method. If we can only be rigid but not soft, square but not round, strong but not weak, and can only advance but not retreat, we will inevitably fail.
Zeng Guofan said: "the truth of being a man is to combine rigidity with softness, and not to neglect one thing." Too soft is weak, too hard is easy to break. I don't just mean to be cruel and severe, but to make corrections by force. If you want to go to the public, you need to be strong. If you compete for fame and fortune, you need to retreat. "
Zeng Guofan studied Lao Tzu's thought deeply. He believed in Laozi's thoughts all his life, and his life was meticulous. So, although you are at the top of fame and fortune, you can return and die with your full name. When dealing with what's going on in the world, some people win with strength, some with softness and some with weakness.
Lao Tzu once advocated ways to keep women weak.
Shang Zhang Rong asked Lao Zi, "Is my tongue still there?" Laozi said, "Yes." Shang Rong said, "Is my tooth still there?" Laozi said, "No!" Shang Rong said, "Do you understand this truth?" Laozi said, "Hard is easy to die, and weak is easy to survive. Isn't that the truth?" Shang Rong said, "Alas! This is exactly what happened in the world. " This is the way of the weak, handed down from generation to generation.
Laozi said: "When people are alive, their bodies are soft, and when they die, they become stiff." . Vegetation grows soft and fragile, and hardens and withers after death. So the strong things belong to death, and the weak things belong to growth. ""the weakest thing in the world can also break into the strongest thing in the world, which can be said to be pervasive. "
The bones in the human body are hard and need soft flesh to wrap them, so as not to be afraid of the collision of foreign objects; The meat inside the shell is soft and needs shell protection. Hard items should be packed with soft satin and sponge, which is not afraid of damage; Exquisite and feminine articles should be packed in wooden cases and iron reeds. Soft water needs to be packed in a hard container; Hard diamonds and gold need soft cotton wool to wrap them, so rigidity and softness do not conflict, but depend on each other.
China people's way of life is both rigid and flexible, impartial.
There used to be an idiom "four or two dial a thousand pounds", which talked about the principle of combining rigidity with softness. As the saying goes, "One hundred people have one hundred hearts, and one hundred people have one hundred natures." Some people are introverted, some are extroverted, some are soft and some are strong-willed. Different personalities also have their own characteristics, advantages and disadvantages, but at the same time they can complement each other. Throughout history, strong-willed people are easily conquered and used by gentle people.
Once a boulder falls on a pile of cotton, it is easy to be wrapped in cotton. If you are tough, you will both lose. Soften, and you will succeed soon.
A successful general must be strong in character, but not opinionated, gentle and gentle, soft but not weak, which is what is usually said. Simple softness is easy to be regarded as weakness, which will reduce one's strength and even lead to final failure; Simple strength will lead to headstrong, doomed to failure. Therefore, combining rigidity with softness is the best state and the most ideal personality trait.
Generally speaking, rigidity represents strength, softness represents compromise, and rigidity can be restrained. The hardness of rigidity is not "high voice, impulsive tone and harsh measures", but "reason", depending on whether the edge of "reason" hits the other side with great harm. Not everyone has a "gang", and not everyone dares to say it. If you want to be "just", you must have excellent ideological cultivation. The ancients said that you just have no desire. Today, people say, "It takes hard work to strike while the iron is hot." Only resolute people can speak resolute words, and only upright people can be full of confidence and respect. If the selfishness is too heavy, "eat others' mouths short and take others' soft hands" to get the benefits of others, naturally the waist is soft and the waist is hard.
So how can we be "rigid"? First of all, he is calm and has the demeanor of a general who is not afraid of danger. The more urgent the situation, the more you should show a strong attitude, be decisive and brave, and have strong confidence in fighting and defeating your opponent. Pose itself has a strong psychological influence on the other party, which overwhelms the other party psychologically, which creates favorable conditions for saying something casually. In fact, we should be good at attacking its weaknesses. Unreasonable troublemakers themselves are unpopular. We should take advantage of their weakness of bully is always coward, argue, seize the loopholes in the other party's language and attack, create our own advantages and tough stance, so that the other party is in a passive position, and make it tremble with short sentences, sharp language, powerful voice, dignified attitude, determination, sword drawing, thunder and shocking feelings.
However, it cannot be ignored that softness often dominates to a certain extent, and a little softness can overcome rigidity. Because "softness" is unique compared with "rigidity". Sturdy things can be broken but the shape remains the same, strong but not tough, strong and fragile. And soft things are potentially deformable, soft and durable, soft and tough. In the debate, sometimes avoiding the strong and weakening, seemingly timid, is actually a skill to overcome rigidity.
In dealing with people, rigidity and softness are often equally divided, and there is no order.
According to the proportional theory, everything should be rigid and elastic according to the specific situation, and can never be absolute. Combine rigidity with softness, too hard and easy to fold, too soft and easy to waste, and the combination of rigidity and softness will be invincible. This is the inherent law of the development of things. Ancient monarchs ruled the country and kept the country safe, and they had to be both civil and military, with both morality and punishment, in order to subdue people with force and last forever.
Contrary to "softness", it is "rigidity". The expression of "gang" has two characteristics: first, it is firm and powerful. Strong people are fearless in the face of danger, have a strong expression, can express a strong sense of justice and have a great shock. The second is rhetoric and eloquence. When I first said it, I was confident, upright and forceful, and had the effect of overwhelming evil. This special expressive function is beyond the reach of the weak. Too selfish people, seemingly aggressive, are actually arrogant and bullying. Being too gentle with them will only encourage their arrogance. At this time, you should dare to face it, be honest and be tactful. "It's good for you to cut two knives at each other." Bad styles will naturally stay away.
Of course, we can't ignore the power of softness. Didn't Lin Jingyun, the heroine in the hit TV series The Mute Bride, win the unanimous approval of the audience for her gentle and peaceful femininity?
It can be seen that a truly positive life should have the wisdom of combining rigidity with softness, the strength of the brave and the peace of silence and wisdom. This is the wit of being a man.