It is likely that everyone has a certain degree of vanity, but it is often hidden, so vanity has various forms, such as modesty, and the essence of this modesty is vanity. Vanity will become extremely dangerous if it exceeds a certain limit. It not only makes people do a lot of useless work, but also makes people always think only of themselves or at most of what others think of him. The most dangerous thing is that it will make people lose contact with reality sooner or later, forget the cause of life, fail to see the contribution that nature requires everyone to make, seriously hinder a person's free development, and always ask, "What can I get from it?"
Vanity people like to hide themselves with beautiful words such as "ambitious", "positive and enterprising" and "energetic". When these abilities and energies are beneficial to society, we recognize their important value. But the usual rule is to use words like "diligence" and "enterprising" to cover up serious vanity.
Vanity people always make excuses for not meeting their own needs. For example, if they don't get a good education or suffer misfortune, they will certainly become leaders. A vain man always knows how to put the blame on others when he makes a mistake. He is always right and others are always wrong. However, it doesn't matter who is right or wrong in life. The most important thing is the realization of personal goals and the contribution to others' lives. A vain person doesn't think about making achievements, but spends all his thoughts on blaming others and excusing himself.
? People who love vanity can't get along with anyone and can't adapt to life, because their whole purpose is to punch themselves in the face and fill their fat bodies, and the most fundamental obstacle is that vanity can't be satisfied. A vain person always wants to occupy the whole stage in his social circle, make a speech, or judge the quality of social gatherings according to his ability to keep the center of the stage.
? Some smart and capable important people belong to this category and are valuable, but their abilities are misused in constant narcissism. These people are extremely hostile, never take the pain and sadness of others to heart, rely on some tricks to raise themselves and belittle others, and often use their own vicious and mean criticism to damage others' character. The slanderous style of people who are good at sarcasm and enjoy it is their common character. The attack point is the value of peers, trying to gain a sense of superiority by belittling peers, and at the same time exposing how deep-rooted weakness and incompetence in vanity personality are.
Excerpt from Adler's Understanding Human Nature-Aggressive Personality Traits
It's hard to read, but I really feel the same way about the case analysis, and I can understand the behavior style and psychological demands of those aggressive personalities around me. Learning more can cure ignorance!