Dream Marriage: Aye, aye! It's not much to kill you, you know! It's so mushy!

Xizhengmeng: This helicopter is also diesel.

I want to be happy: is my father stupid?

I'm glad too ...

According to what you said, you came first ... and then your father.

And <; Yellow crane tower > The most classic sentence in the movie: "... I sing with him and I'm hungry!" ..... "

You should also exercise ~

On teasing: Actually, my father died, too, and I forgot to mention it!

"both civil and military": a little news? Scrape people, you are!

Bai Shi Hui-not enough money

Wenwu Liangquan: I'm about to see a monk selling zongzi.

When Degang Guo saved up the bottom of My Life, he said that he had never drowned once when he practiced swimming on the lawn. Brother Qian responded with lightning: Didn't he bury himself alive? (Maybe it's not completely accurate, that's probably what it means), several old sticky people under the stage were happy at that time!

I want happiness: Guo: At this moment, I saw my girlfriend and her boyfriend coming hand in hand from the inside. What a coke. This.

Yu: this is so sad!

All My Life: Miss Prejudice woke me up from my sleep ... Brother Qian: Is this you? !

The audience burst into laughter, and Guo glared at Brother Qian angrily and said, "Is there such a thing in the backstage? !" Brother Qian: "Why don't you say it according to the words?" The audience laughed into a ball, and in Lafang's words, all the people were dying!

Guo: Yu Qian's father came to me and said that he had been thinking about a riddle for a long time and didn't know it. Looking at Hou Yuewen from a distance and looking at the washbasin from a distance ...

Yu: My father has never heard of cross talk

Give Yunwei a measure of "Finding a Hall Meeting"

Yunwei (backwards): Have you had a drink for one person and one altar?

Yu: what's the occasion?

Yunwei (backwards): Dip your finger in the wine, and just pop it into your mouth.

Yu: Drink it, drink it! Whether you can drink or not is another question!

I was crazy under the stage!

strange cure

Guo: the bride takes off her artificial leg and cuts you!

Yu: I cut him with mine, too!

There is a saying in Xizhengmeng, "What is your salute? How about I throw you a piece of bread? "

I remember one time when Brother Qian measured Mr. Guo's life. When he came back, Mr. Dou trained his daughter. Mr. Guo: This work is really tiring. Why don't you stand on my side and amuse me for two paragraphs and let me have a rest? Brother Qian immediately replied, "No, no, no, I can't come here. I won't turn around this way, and so will Mr. Guo." I immediately took a step to the side, and then I followed you under the stage.

When recording the truth that day, Mr. Guo wiped his sweat with a paper towel because the video studio was too hot.

The host said that you could pinch it off during this broadcast.

Mr. Guo said you could put on mosaics.

Who knows where you wipe the mosaic?

I've been wondering this sentence in the second half, which is awesome.

Guo: What is it, what set? Three words! ..... Yu: Think about it! !

DeGang said, "I won't go in day by day." Yu Qian said, "You still won't come out night by night."

DeGang said, "I care about this."

Yu Qian pointed to his ass and said, "Your this is not as good as mine."

I always took it in p>22 times. Guo: "People don't understand. When Yu Qian was a child." ..... Yu: "You know a lot about this introduction."

In I Want Happiness, Guo said, "The only difference between me and Superman is that he wears underpants outside" ... Qian said, "Try wearing underpants outside next time"

A second-hand scientist invented the voice-activated light, so you can see his face!

You are all over my daughter-in-law's face.

I want to be happy: Degang Guo encourages himself in the mirror in the ladies' room that "you will succeed" ... Yu Qian received a sentence of "Reading happy songs ~ ~"

"Learning Xihe River": knock again, and I'll give you the drum.

I don't know whether he likes this scientist or this second-hand one.

Gangzi said Miss Bias woke him up, and Brother Qian said, "Did she push you?" Laugh and spit!

On another occasion, I said "Sister Wang Sifu", and Gang Zi hung up with Brother Qian and said, "I'm a joker". As a result, I accidentally said "I'm a joker" and immediately changed it back to "I'm a joker". Brother Qian answered, "I didn't mean to be a joker just now. Everyone in the audience is happy.

I feel that it is perfect for Brother Qian to measure Gang Zi's work, and the tacit understanding is at home.

all my life: Yu Shuo Guo: now you two are called performance art!

In "Starting Tonight", scholars are in a hurry to pick up their daughter-in-law from work in karaoke bars. Yu Qian asks Guo: What does your daughter-in-law do?

Guo: I don't know Yu Qian, so you haven't eaten pork!

Yu: Hui people don't know much about it ~

In the special session of Sina New Year's cross talk, Guo said that his father is a master of martial arts: "... with a sharp point, a barbed hook and a blade ... what is a golden bell jar and what is iron underpants? I have practiced them all." ..... Yu reached out and stopped him: "Don't practice any more, it's useless ..."

On Dreams: Guo: "Some people are photographed in a square with three lines on them, which is terrible!"

Yu: "What's so terrible about this? Don't you see it every morning?"

The scene at the People's Liberation Army Opera House:

Second hanging

Outline: Just now ... quilt cover Peng ...

Qian: quilt cover Peng? !

Outline: It's the first time I saw the host dressed like a red envelope.

Modesty: No wonder. Miss Lier was wearing it.

Guo repeated the last paragraph: When you were three years old, your father called you in front of you ...

Modesty: In this case, it was a good show.

Bin Laden was greedy enough.

"Dancing the Great God": This one here (referring to Jing Li)

is: small-eyed? !

Guo: aren't you ashamed?

Yu: We're both ashamed.

Don't talk about your grandfather.

I still think that the most successful joke between Guo and Yu is the Yellow Crane Tower.

When the class leader said that he would learn to play in Mr. Ma Lianliang's house and learn to sing the singing of selling steamed buns by Hui people, Brother Qian directly said, "Well, that's right. Is Mr. Ma Lianliang a Hui people?" At that time, the audience was absolutely down! !

Guo: You have to ask,' Dad, why are you going?'

Yu: I'm going to take a shower ...

And Brother Qian once gave Yunwei "Looking for a Hall Meeting", which is also a witty remark!

for example, have you found a good place for your business? Is the manned full moon? ...... Dapeng once broadcast

it seems that Degang Guo is standing in a tree on a sheep

Brother Qian came with a sentence: Why is this scientist so sloppy?

It's so funny in combination with his body

The word "good" is said by everyone, and Yu Xiansheng's taste and temperature are the best

"Article Meeting".

Degang said in the special performance "I want to go to the Spring Festival Evening" in Tianjin Province: actors like ne have flower baskets, and I have gone to so much trouble that I don't even have a wreath. Teacher Yu said: You are not old enough! (coax)! The squad leader said: Is there a security guard? Pointing at the teacher Yu, he said, This

Dou Gongxun girl who can be shot for 5 minutes: Don't step on a stick during the performance, right? We have a plan.

and oral language: it's really not so good

What did that foreign bitch say?

"Is there such an unreasonable wife? ！”

haha, everyone knows which paragraph it is.

you're trampling on the smelly elder sister. This is.

the most classic is actually: oops ... ho!

Guo: ... The main reason is that the business card management system is not perfect. I want to print a president, and he will print it for me. The president and priest will also print it ...

Yu: You also pay attention to both mental and material things

Degang Guo said that she saw her girlfriend and her boyfriend calling over there. Master Guo also shook hands with the man.

Mr. Qian said: But it's really a harmonious society.

In Marriage of Dreams-

Guo: Slice noodles! Lamian Noodles! Beef noodles! A wide bowl and a thin bowl!

Yu: just trying to eat?

This little bag is the most memorable thing for Mr. Qian ...

Li: You should pay attention to wearing my jacket. Look, there are urine cocoons on it.

He: Isn't this a sneeze!

Yu: this is the true recognition! (Every time I hear this, I burst into laughter)

On teasing-Yu: "Let me tell you this, in order to tell you this cross talk, our family is dead!"

dream marriage-Guo: "I walked on the road with four donkeys on fire, and the police didn't dare to look at me. It's great to have money. ..... Yu: "Did the dog chase you?"

My father's fart was cut to commemorate the 6th anniversary of anti-fascism.

The squad leader in the drum said that Yu Qian's father was the boss with two knives. Teacher Yu immediately said: It was time to chop hands ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I won't talk about how happy I was under the stage. Anyway, Guo Le bent down ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ <

Guo: "There is another person backstage who can compare with the teacher."

Yu: "that's not easy, man!

is there a third floor here?

"You didn't even say my words together!"!

Wang Erjie Sifu Guo: You zip up those pants. Y: Well, I wish I had worn a coat.

I'm so happy.

When recording starry night, in the issue presided over by Yu Qian, Chaodong said about the Secrets Gate incident: "The boss asked the female secretary to give me the key, but the female secretary didn't obey ..." Yu Qian said: "This is an attempt ..."

When taking off his gown, Chaodong said: "Brother Qian, you don't mind changing here, do you?" Yu Qian said, "It doesn't matter, this line of work is all about wearing things off ..."

Xu Deliang: I got earrings because my ex-girlfriend wanted me to accompany her.

Yu Qian: What should you do if your current girlfriend wants breast augmentation?

The special performance in memory of Mr. Wang Fengshan was also the joke of "Starting Tonight"

Yu: I can see that you have left everything on your lips, which is totally irrelevant (a child in the audience said "Yes")

Guo (pointing to the child): Is this your father?

Yu (also pointing to the child): Who is like my father at our age?

Guo: I'm like

Wenwu Trainee

Guo: If you say anything more, I'll put you on the tiger stool!

Yu: Quxie works in Zhazidong!

(The message was delivered very tightly)

At the prize-winning ceremony at the end of last year, when the sesame seed cake came to the stage to receive the prize, it shook its face-

Yu Qian: Come on, stop shaking it, and you will be burned in a moment, and I will become a hemp ball. (The audience burst into laughter)

I can't remember which paragraph. The class leader said, "I'll buy a catty of watermelon! Buy a piece of bean curd with soy sauce! "

Brother Qian said, why don't you eat watermelon? !

Guo: Little girls singing drums, all with their heads bent, rubbing rouge and touching powder, pulled backwards, beautiful! There are several big flower baskets at a time.

Yu: You're not?

Guo: after we have a scene, let alone a flower basket, there is not even a wreath.

Yu: (laughing) Maybe you are younger than

Guo: Yuck ...

There is another sentence that I think is the most classic.

In "Lighting with Vinegar"

Guo: I am a dozen children, and the outline is too quit.

Yu: Who is this anal Thai?

Guo: Mrs. Degang Guo.

Yu: ruined a good medicine ...

The time that Degang Guo touched me the most

seemed to be the National Day Seven-Day Music Crosstalk Conference, when Wang Huigang finished singing

Guo Yu went up,

"The actor who just sang drums sang well"

The audience laughed, and Yu Qian also laughed: I don't praise him ... then my daughter-in-law "

laughs

" My daughter-in-law just asks me to concentrate on cross talk, and I don't have to worry about other things. This is also called a dream. "

The audience laughed wildly.

Yu Qian was so happy:

" You are really throwing caution to the wind and have never been so generous to us "

Dream marriage. It's great to have money. "

Qian: "Did the dog chase you?"

The squad leader who is afraid of drums said that Yu Qian's father is the boss with two knives. Teacher Yu immediately said: That was the time when he didn't chop his hands ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I won't talk about how happy he was under the stage, anyway, the squad leader bent down with joy ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

And in the hall-finding meeting of Montana

.

Teacher Yu stopped him and said, "What are you drinking? Ok, lick my face later. " (Brother Qian spilled it on his face.)

In the cross talk "Wenwu Liangquan":

Degang Guo dressed as Jin Yong, wrote a poem on the ground with bricks, stood up and lit it with his feet:

I awake light-hearted this morning of spring, everywhere round me the singing of birds; After one night of wind and rain, how many are the fallen flowers.

Yu Qian said, well, fortunately, it's five words. If it's seven words, you have to break your hips.

Guo: What are you thinking? Let's just perform on the stage. For example, when you see me walking in the street in the future, you ask me, Dad, why are you going ...

Qian: I'm going to take a shower. .

During the super interview, the squad leader said that he loves reading books, and he loves books like a life: I may not know if we lost our money, but I can tell which book is missing.

Brother Qian immediately said: Yes, all the money is in the books.

In the dream marriage, the squad leader said that Liu Xiang would pull rickshaws for him, and

Brother Qian said: "You can't catch up if you fall!"

when you practice, do you also put a pot under it? -I'm a gangster

My brother came back naked? -White House

That's not to see the drums, that's to see the thighs! -I'm going to cross the street with Miss Bias in the Spring Festival Evening

: "When you two are together, that's called performance art! I've learned a lot in my life. I'm bleeding. I'm asking my wife to give my son. Yu: I went to the bathroom behind the stage. Guo: I'm talking about cross talk here. I'm sorting out the armed bands. All the armed bands are inside. Guo: Do you know me?

Qian: no.

Guo: Look.