As long as you pay a little attention, it is not difficult to find phenomena such as this: two people used to be so close that they could not distinguish each other. However, it didn't take long for them to become enemies. Not only did they not have any contact with each other, they also turned against each other. Why is this happening? There is a "hedgehog theory" in the West that can explain this. "Hedgehog Theory" says: Hedgehogs are covered with needle-like thorns. When the weather gets cold, they will move closer to each other and get together. But after careful observation, we found that there is always a certain distance between them. It turns out that if the distance is too close, the thorns on their bodies will hurt each other; if the distance is too far, they will feel cold. Only by staying away from each other and keeping the appropriate distance can we maintain the ideal temperature without harming the other party.

The "Hedgehog Theory" says: if the distance is too close, the opponent will be stabbed. Generally speaking, it is certainly not a bad thing for people to get along closely with each other. Otherwise, how could there be such reputations as "close comrades in arms," ??"close partners," and "inseparable partners"? But nothing can be excessive, otherwise it will lead to extremes. As the saying goes, "To be too frugal will make you stingy, and to be too conciliatory will make you humble." This is the truth. The hero and heroine in the TV series "Have Fun" can't be said to be not close, nor can they be considered not to be close. The big letters "I love you" can be seen in the new house day and night, but in the end they have to part ways. This can't help but remind people of Shakespeare's famous saying: "I don't want to suppress the flame of your love, but this fire cannot let it burn too brightly, otherwise it will completely burn away the barriers of reason." If you love too much, not only your sanity will be burned out, but your love will also be scorched. The hero and heroine in "Too Much Love" had the kind of excessive love that "loved him so much that he loved him so much, and loved him so much that he turned everything upside down", which led to the tragedy of this "confused love".

In real life, this phenomenon of "closeness leads to distance" is relatively common, and this can probably be regarded as a rule of communication. The ancients once warned: "Be kind and guard against slander." In other words, if you want to make acquaintance with a cultivated person, you don't have to rush to get close to him, so as not to arouse the jealousy of bad people and slander him behind his back. Because once it appears that you are too close to a gentleman, the villain may become jealous and have provocative thoughts due to being left out, and may alienate you and make you suspicious of each other. This is one of the reasons. Practice has shown that the closer a person is to someone, the greater the degree of harm they will suffer, and the deeper the resentment will be. In history, it is not uncommon for brothers to kill each other and fathers and sons to fight against each other. It can be seen that jealousy and suspicion are more powerful between close relatives than between strangers. Among superiors and subordinates, most leaders value their own dignity. Only with dignity can they be mysterious and attractive. Once there is too much intimacy between superiors and subordinates, this mystery will be lost, and the leader's attractiveness will be gone. Because intimacy breeds contempt, and no one becomes a hero in the eyes of his personal attendants, thirdly. Therefore, friends cannot be too close, and superiors and subordinates cannot be too close, otherwise they will cause harm to each other.

The "Hedgehog Theory" tells us: if the distance is too far, you will feel cold. It’s not good to have too close interpersonal relationships, so does that mean the farther away the better? Of course not. But now there are some people who think they are aloof and arrogant. They look down on this and that. They think they have seen through the world of mortals and have no contact with anyone. Some people passively believe that the world is sinister and their communication is hypocritical. Seeking a kind of paradise to isolate from the world, unwilling to contact the outside world. In fact, although communication is driven by interests in a sense, in essence communication is a mutually beneficial behavior. The more contact you have with people, the better your understanding will be and you will be able to help each other when encountering problems. Under normal circumstances, people will first think of helping those who are close to them and are familiar with them, and then they will consider those who are not familiar with and strangers last. This is the saying of "distant relatives are not as good as close neighbors." Because, although distant relatives are close, they are far away, and information communication is slow; neighbors, although not relatives, are close, and they often communicate with each other, so there are more opportunities to help each other. If we "live and die without contacting each other", relatives will also become disconnected, and people who were close to us in the past will gradually become indifferent and even become estranged. In this way, you will feel lonely and may even have lifelong regrets.

Nothing can be excessive. Going to the extreme of anything is equivalent to going to the opposite. The principle of appropriateness in getting along in the "Hedgehog Theory" tells the true meaning of communication. Everything has duality. For example, good and bad, affinity and distance, etc. are all dialectically unified relationships, and can transform into each other under certain conditions. In interpersonal relationships, once intimacy reaches an excessive level, it means the beginning of alienation. Therefore, in order to avoid the crisis caused by excessive intimacy, we must maintain a certain distance psychologically, remain relatively independent financially, and not follow each other in action. We must grasp the principle of appropriateness in getting along with each other in the "Hedgehog Theory" , maintaining a state of "nearness and separation". In this way, we can avoid the social tragedy of extreme joy leading to sorrow, repaying kindness with enmity, and the jealousy and resentment caused by broken friendships.