Text/Josie

After finishing writing the manuscript late at night, I opened WeChat before going to bed, and messages from Ms. S were bombarded. I clicked on the little red dot, and on the chat page There are 24 unread messages displayed.

Miss S is in love. Her boyfriend thinks she is too good and feels that he is not good enough for Miss S. He gives a lot of reasons, but in the end they just want to break up.

Ms. S and her boyfriend Mr. C joined the same company when they graduated. They both worked their way up from the bottom. However, some time ago, Ms. S was promoted because of her outstanding performance, but Mr. C was just He said congratulations angrily, without any trace of pride or joy on his face.

Ms. S felt aggrieved and stayed in the company to work overtime for an hour voluntarily every day. She worked diligently and never slacked off, while Mr. C returned home after get off work every day to either play games or watch competitions. Miss S tried her best to persuade Mr. C to focus more on work, but Mr. C always didn't care and even laughed at himself, "People with no background like us can't compete with those people even if we work hard, so we should just rest." Rest."

Ms. S was angry and annoyed, but she had no choice but to work hard on her own.

Half a year later, Ms. S was promoted. Her colleagues all praised Mr. C for finding a good girlfriend. However, Mr. C was a typical male chauvinist. Those compliments turned out to be sarcasm to him. Mr. C I feel like others are scolding me for being a softie.

Not long after Ms. S was promoted, Mr. C broke up with her.

Miss S was angry on WeChat. The achievements I achieved through my own efforts have become a burden to him. I really don’t understand what he thinks.

In fact, it’s not that Miss S doesn’t understand, maybe she just doesn’t want to admit that Mr. C is envious of her. Mr. C must have felt uncomfortable being ranked lower than Ms. S in the company, and because of his male chauvinism, he made an excuse to cover up the fact that I was not worthy.

After reading all of Miss S’s messages, I lightly typed the words “You deserve someone better” and pressed send.

If he just wants to eat and die, why would you spend your life with such a man?

Girl, you are so good, there will definitely be a man walking side by side with you in the future to accompany you for the rest of your life.

Envy is like the love for beauty. Everyone has it, but whether you can balance your own psychology is a science.

A few days ago, a reader sent me a private message on Weibo and said, Ah Qiao, I really envy you for signing a contract with a famous book company at such a young age.

I was shocked. A rough calculation showed that I had been silent for three years from the time I started writing to the time I published my first article in a regular magazine. If calculated based on the time of writing, I am really not young anymore.

I don’t know how to tell the other person that there is really no need to be envious, because behind the appearance, there is a side that most people don’t know, and that is the restoration of life in the future.

Writing is something in which the effort and reward are difficult to be directly proportional. Even if I sign a contract with a well-known domestic book publishing company, it means that there is hope for publishing a book, but it does not mean that every article I write The manuscripts can all pass the review, and the later revision task is much more arduous than the creation.

I was chatting with an author friend a few days ago. The editor urged him to submit the manuscript before May. So these days, my friend stayed up until four or five o'clock every day, revising repeatedly, accompanied by the sound of typing on the keyboard. With caffeine, it takes one night to change.

There is also a female author friend who received requests for manuscripts from three magazines during the Chinese New Year. When the editor was urging me to write, my friend rushed to finish the manuscript, so that during that period of time, when my friend saw Word, he started writing. nausea.

After submitting the manuscript, a circle of pimples appeared on my friend’s forehead, her eyes were bloodshot, and the 20-year-old girl looked haggard.

I said, just take it easy, the royalties are not enough for you to put on a facial mask.

My friend smiled bitterly and said, "I can't help it. Who asked me to agree to be edited?"

Therefore, sometimes writing is really a matter of life.

Talking about myself, I received a message from a girl in the background of the official account at noon today. The girl was very resentful because I did not reply to her message, so she said that after I gained some popularity on Weibo, I just ignore the private messages from fans.

Before I had time to reply, the other party had already closed the public account, and the typed paragraph was stuck in the dialog box and could not be sent. The feeling could be described as wanting to cry without tears.

Very early on, my middle school Chinese teacher told me that the moment your article is published, it no longer belongs to you. You should face other people's bad comments calmly, and don't let those comments influence your own thoughts.

I try not to let myself be affected by remarks, but when faced with malicious slander and offensive remarks, I am just an ordinary person and will have my own emotions.

If this reader knew about these unknown writing experiences, I wonder if he would feel more normal.

I have always liked Thomas Carlyle’s famous saying: He who has not cried through the night has not lived a good life.

The life of others you envy may not be as wonderful as you see it.

I met a couple who had just ended their long-distance relationship. During the annual vacation, the boy and his girlfriend met their parents, got engaged, and planned to get married on National Day.

The two have been together since college. After graduating from college, the boy worked in the Internet industry and tried to start a business with others, while the girl got a graduate degree in her hometown. The two of them spent more than a thousand years together in the south and north. Kilometers, the long-distance relationship lasted for more than two years.

Now, the girl is about to graduate from graduate school, and the company co-founded by the boy and others is also on the right track.

Boys and girls are recognized as model couples. When asked at a friend's gathering what is the secret of love, the boy shyly said that there is no secret, it's just Zhou Yu's yellow cap. , if she wants to cry or make a fuss, I just endure it. Over time, the two of them have figured out each other's habits, and as long as the other party gives them a step, they will go down.

Everyone expressed their envy.

In fact, love that persists in quarrels lasts the longest, because you believe that the other person is the person you want to spend your whole life with, so no matter how much you quarrel or quarrel, after the quarrel, you will find a way to step down. .

What you think of as a model couple actually has the troubles of ordinary couples. They quarrel, break up, and say harsh words, but they know how to cherish and tolerate them better.

There is a lyric in Stefanie Sun's "What I Miss": What I miss is the urge to love you after the quarrel.

Whether it’s love or marriage, your whole life is just about finding someone you can argue with but won’t give up loving you.

I met an awesome person on Zhihu, a master’s student from Harvard University, who now works in Silicon Valley. Because I really liked one of his answers, I sent him a private message with the idea of ??giving it a try, asking him how he achieved today’s results.

Two days later, unexpectedly, I received a reply from the other party. The boy said that it was because his parents forced him to do so in the first place, so he has been preparing to go abroad since his freshman year. Later, when I came to the United States, I spent a difficult six months without any relatives or friends. At that time, I was just suffering from mental distress. But six months later, my parents failed in business and even the house was repossessed by the court. The mental depression suddenly turned into financial difficulties. It's so insignificant, probably from that time on, the boy grew up all of a sudden.

After that, the boys started serving dishes like most international students, and later worked for a game company. When they graduated, the boys entered a well-known company in Silicon Valley with their excellent grades and outstanding abilities.

I didn’t ask the master how he got through the most difficult period. But I can imagine how much experience and perseverance a boy who is used to the life of a young man must go through before he can truly grow into a man who is responsible for himself.

Sometimes life is far more difficult than we imagine, but we have no choice but to face it.

Avoiding problems will not solve any problems, and will make things worse.

When you don’t think of a better countermeasure, the best countermeasure is to face it head on.

Any thing, when it has reached its ultimate peak, nothing can surpass it. Whether it is good or bad, it cannot be better or worse.

People who have nothing to lose will not be afraid, because there is nothing to lose.

There are too many obstacles on the road of life, but if you can be more open-minded, the obstacles may just be paper tigers.

When you yourself become a great person in the eyes of others, you will understand what it means to truly survive.

The reason why we envy other people’s lives is simply because our own lives are full of dissatisfaction, but you have to know that all wonderful lives are not born, and those who have wonderful lives may be better than others. You are older and have more experience than you, which are all gifts that come with time.

And you are just walking on the path he once walked. One day, when you cross this threshold at this stage, you will find that your life is not as ordinary as you imagined.

It is better to retreat and build a net than to envy fish in the abyss. If you don’t work hard, you will always be able to envy other people’s lives.