Before my thirties, I was a mediocre person.

Zeng Guofan's hometown is Baiyangping, Xiangxiang County, Hunan Province. Located in the mountainous area within 0/30 of the county seat/kloc-,although the scenery is beautiful and not bad, the traffic is inconvenient and the news is blocked.

Zeng Guofan said in his poem that "the world is ignorant and laughter is like dust." After visiting this place, I found that there seems to be no need to deal with the outside world and there are few shuttle buses. Starting from Shaoshan, I was bumpy all day and changed trains (including motorcycles) five times to get here. In the late Qing dynasty, the degree of occlusion here was even more imaginable. Before Zeng Guofan's father Zeng Linshu, there was not even a scholar here for hundreds of years. Not only is there "no academic inventor", but there has never been a family that is either rich or expensive. It can be said that it is a corner forgotten by the world.

In the traditional era, farmers want to get rid of the embarrassing life of facing the loess and facing the sky, almost only for their children to study. Zeng Yuping, Zeng Guofan's grandfather, all expected after middle age is that his descendants can go out of this world through reading. He spared no expense to study for his eldest son, Zeng Linshu, "honing in poor years and expecting success". However, Zeng Linshu's qualifications are really poor. Although under the strict supervision of his father, he studied hard and worked tirelessly, but he didn't even pass the exam 17 times.

As the eldest grandson, Zeng Guofan bears the hope of the last two generations. However, the inheritance of the Zeng family seems really bad. Zeng Guofan began to take the county exam at the age of 14, which is also the bottom of the list. He dropped out of Sun Shan seven times in a row (none of Zeng Guofan's four younger brothers succeeded in studying). The Tsengs are used to the depressing atmosphere after failing the list, and almost resigned to their fate.

However, at the age of 23, Zeng Guofan's fate suddenly took a turn for the better. In this year, I won the scholar, and in the second year, I won the juren. Five years later, in the eighteenth year of Daoguang, 28-year-old Zeng Guofan won the Jinshi and was awarded the imperial academy Jishi Shu.

Zeng Guofan, who just turned 30, has many shortcomings, big and small, just like every ordinary person.

First, I am impetuous and can't sit still. Zeng Guofan was naturally sociable and lively and humorous. During his first two years in Beijing, he spent too much time socializing. Every day, he has to "go out for four wars", go to his club to string westerners, eat, drink, talk about poverty and play Go. Although he booked a self-study schedule for himself, it was not well implemented, and he had too little time to study hard, so he couldn't calm down when he had time to study.

In June of the twentieth year of Daoguang, Zeng Guofan said in his diary that after he entered the library in April, "he applied himself to study", but "he took a nap for more than forty days every day." He concluded that in more than forty days, except for writing a few letters to his family and writing a birthday poem to others, "everything else was neglected, so every day was not recorded."

So, he set up a daily lesson for himself in his diary, getting up early every day, writing 100 Chinese characters, reviewing classics, reading historical records and writing poems and compositions.

Open your diary and blame yourself for "feasting", "fidgeting" and "going out too much"

Second, people are arrogant and have poor cultivation. Although his qualifications are not particularly excellent, Zeng Guofan is finally outstanding in the circle of friends in rural Hunan, and he is a teenager, so he once expected something from himself. When he left home for Beijing to be an official, his illiterate but knowledgeable old grandfather gave him such a parting message: "Your talents are good, and your officials are inexhaustible. It would be better not to be proud. "

Of course, an old man's motto is not enough to erase everything from him. In the first few years in Beijing, the most common human defects, such as "being superior to others" and "looking at yourself in everything, others can't see it", were clearly reflected in him. He is thoughtless about people and things. Several of his closest friends have bluntly pointed out his "arrogance". His good friend Chen told him: "First of all, we should avoid using the word' slow', which means I am negligent everywhere." "I also said that I am not smart and too mean, so I must pay attention to it step by step." The second is "natural" and does not listen to different opinions. "This means that you should hold your own opinion when reading poetry."

Because of his poor cultivation and bad temper, Zeng Guofan had two big quarrels with his friends in his first few years in Beijing. For the first time, Zheng Xiaoshan, a fellow countryman and minister of punishments, spoke ill of each other because of a disagreement. "I was so angry that I forgot my body and my loved ones." On another occasion, Jin Zao, a compatriot of the same year, quarreled over a trivial matter and said, "I am very angry ... although I was told by my friends, I was still swearing and absolutely unscrupulous." These descriptions vividly depict the violent and impulsive side of Zeng Guofan's character.

The most common mistakes that ordinary people make in social communication are insincerity and hypocrisy. For example, in social occasions, I often say good things smoothly and get used to wearing a high hat. For example, talk big, pretend not to understand, show off yourself, brag. These normal conditions in human nature exist in Zeng Guofan, even more prominent. Shao Chenyi, who is afraid of friends, pointed out that his third shortcoming is "hypocrisy, that is, he can make several faces at people."

In Zeng Guofan's diary, he reflected on this shortcoming many times. For example, on the fourth day of October in the 22nd year of Daoguang, a friend Ji Li Yun visited, "taking writing poems recently as a sign. I admire the insincerity and talk about poetry. " Praise is not from the heart. And chatting, deliberately showing off his profundity, said a lot. There are countless such records.

During the dinner, it means to be famous when you meet people. If you talk funny, you will be frivolous. A gentleman who is not heavy is not arrogant.

For the average person, this is a harmless social habit, just like making noise when eating soup carelessly, almost everyone can't avoid it. But for saints, this is a very serious problem. Because Confucianism believes that the essence of self-cultivation lies in "sincerity". Be sincere to yourself and others, one is one, the other is two, and being meticulous can make you pure and firm. Appropriate "white lies" are an essential lubricant for social communication, but when insincerity becomes a habit, "floating falsehood" arises and people's faces become vulgar and disgusting.

In addition to the above three points, Zeng Guofan believes that he still has a big shortcoming that must be corrected, that is, "lewdness."

Second, the operation process of "thoroughly remould oneself"

Thirty years old is the most important watershed in Zeng Guofan's life.

Zeng Guofan's greatest significance to later generations is that he proved with his own practice that a middleman can become a superman through "revision". In other words, if a person is sincerely committed to self-improvement, his skills can be increased tenfold, his knowledge can be improved tenfold, his thoughts can be expanded tenfold and his temperament can be purified tenfold. Stupid people, through self-sharpening, can also see through, stand firm, speak out and do it. People who float around can also become as calm as a breeze. Paranoid people can also be open-minded and not arrogant.

Daoguang's 20 years as an official in Beijing is not only the beginning of Zeng Guofan's official career, but also an important starting point for his lifelong self-improvement.

As the national political and cultural center, Beijing gathered the top talents at that time, and the Hanlin Academy was the cradle of elites. As soon as he entered Hanyuan, Zeng Guofan met people with good temperament and often enjoyed the cool.

Zeng Guofan found that the spiritual temperament of these people is very different from that of their former friends. They are all followers of Neo-Confucianism and have the moral enthusiasm of Puritanism. They are strict with themselves, sincere and serious, and firm in the face of the rolling world of mortals.

Before the age of 30, Zeng Guofan's life goals were only fame and glory. After knowing these good friends, I will review myself, feel ashamed and make up my mind. It is in these 30 years that Zeng Guofan has made the ambition of "learning to be an excellent official".

"Sage" is the highest life goal of Confucian believers.

The most basic psychological tendency of human beings is to make themselves perfect. China's Confucianism, Buddhism and Taoism are perfect in the design of life goals. Taoism believes that through cultivation, people can live a long life and become "supreme", "true" and "god" without eating whole grains, absorbing wind and drinking dew, and being carefree.

Supernatural exaggeration is too illusory, but despite these ethereal factors, the Confucian theory of "sage" is, after all, the most operable personality ideal in China's traditional culture, with a reasonable core that conforms to the basic psychological experience of human beings.

Maslow divided human needs into four levels. The first level is eroticism, the second level is a safe living environment, the third level is the need of interpersonal communication, and the fourth level is fame and fortune and getting ahead. The last level is self-realization. The so-called self-realization is to burn your life energy to the fullest and turn yourself into a capitalized person.

The ideal of Confucian saints can basically be compared to Maslow's "self-realization". Indeed, the Confucian "sage realm" coincides with Maslow's "peak experience" after self-realization.

The great potential of human beings is often unknown to human beings. The so-called mediocrity is a person who has been sleeping all his life. Because of the entanglement of desire, weak will and unknown wisdom, ordinary people can only use a small part of the potential given by God all their lives. Heroes and great men are awakened people. They are strong in nature and strong in thought, and can give full play to their potential. And "saints", or people who have reached the realm of "self-realization", exert their potential through efforts to overcome various difficulties.

Confucianism says that when a person cultivates to the realm of saints, he will "have nothing, have nothing" and "connect heaven and earth". Will be "bright and clear" and "calm and moderate", and achieve an extremely confident and extremely happy emotional state. Maslow also said that when a person fully realizes himself, he will also experience an indescribable joy, ecstasy and ecstasy.

At this time, people are the most confident, able to master themselves and dominate the world, and can give full play to all their talents. The unity of subject and object in the peak experience is the highest, most perfect and harmonious state of human existence.

It should be said that the Confucian ideal of saints is much higher than Maslow's "self-realization". Maslow gave people ample space to realize their natural instinct, while Confucianism demanded that an abstract person composed of "natural principles" should be used instead of a natural person with ordinary feelings.

From Zeng Guofan, we can realize the only way to strive for self-improvement.

The first thing is to be firm and determined. The significance of determination to a person's personality development is decisive. The great potential of human beings is often unknown to human beings.

Psychologist Fa Yueer did such an experiment. He asked three groups of students to lift weights to see who insisted on it for a long time. He said nothing to the first group. In the second group, I want to see which of you has the strongest endurance. For the third group, he said, these things you are lifting are very important because the wires on them are connected to the power grid. If you put your hand down, the city will lose power. For the sake of friends and family, you must hold it for a while.

As a result, the first group persisted for an average of ten minutes, while the second group tried its best to persist for an average of fifteen minutes. The third group lasted for an average of 20 minutes.

Visible, how much people's ability to play, and their own requirements are closely related. In other words, spiritual strength directly determines the degree of physical potential.

Therefore, a person's spiritual growth, it is very important to "aspire", or to establish a lifelong goal. Zeng Guofan has a deep understanding of this. He once said that ambition is like laying a foundation. "Since ancient times, heroes have made things, and there must be a foundation. ..... If the room is natural, grandeur means that the house is wide and there are many shelters. Integrity has a solid address and a solid structure. " Only with a broad and solid foundation can we build a magnificent and powerful life hall on it. Zeng Guofan's first success in life lies in his highest ambition.

With ambition, what is needed next is implementation.

From the first day of October in the 22nd year of Daoguang, Zeng Guofan began to transform himself in all directions. His method is "day shift". He supervises himself from getting up to sleeping, eating, drinking and sleeping every day. Ask yourself to be a saint and always supervise and check your every move. Every day, he carefully kept a diary in his business letter, carefully recalled all his words and deeds on this day, and found out what did not meet the requirements of the sage, so he must identify it, record it and reflect deeply.

Since we want to strive for self-improvement, of course, we must seize the time first, and we must not "waste time", "idle talk" or "indulge in games". Since12, Zeng Guofan has set the following basic learning schedule for himself: write a regular diary every day, read ten pages of history every day, and tell one in each diary after a meal. This is the lower limit of the courses that must be completed. Besides, he also reads Yi and practices composition every day, which greatly improves the efficiency of the whole study.

On the ninth day of 1 1 month, he went to Chen's place in the morning to celebrate Chen's mother's birthday. After dinner, I'm going home to study. As a result, I was persuaded by my friends to go to He Zizhen's house to play, where I played a game of Go with others, and then watched another game. When watching others play chess, there is a fierce "war between man and nature" in my heart. On the one hand, I want to indulge myself once and have a good day, on the other hand, I keep thinking about all the promises I have made to myself. Finally, after watching the battle, he defeated himself. "Hurry home and watch the hexagrams."

Like most young people who just entered the society, Zeng Guofan, who just arrived in Beijing, was naive and straightforward. Once you become a friend, you will lose your heart, and at the same time, you will ask the other party to have no reservations about him, lacking the sense of distance and proper boundaries necessary for us to meet. Since Zeng Guofan regarded himself as a "saint", he unconsciously asked his friends according to the standards of saints. He often speaks too directly, leaving no room, regardless of you and me, and it is easy to conflict with friends. Some of his friends know this shortcoming. Diary of October 3rd, 22nd year of Daoguang: "Dai Yun ... speaks to his friends, and both of them are too dependent on others, and they don't know the amount before entering, so they can't leave any discretion everywhere. The smallest awkwardness is the biggest fierceness. Do not be careless. "

Third, look at the height of the flat ground.

Zeng Guofan believed that one should hone one's patience and toughness like a chicken incubating an egg. His life is a life of constant self-attack and self-tempering. Therefore, it is also a life of constant reinvention, changing temperament and growing skills.

Zeng Guofan named his study "Autumn Que". From youth to old age, Zeng Guofan lived in constant remorse, constantly looking for and criticizing his own shortcomings.

For example, for the shortcomings of inconstancy, he has been making unremitting efforts all his life. In the twenty-second year of Daoguang, Zeng Guofan once wrote in his diary:

The root cause of my illness is perseverance. I make a rule today, and it will be slow tomorrow. There is no routine to follow. I won't trust people anymore, and I won't succeed in doing things. Stop it!

46-year-old Xianfeng wrote to his brother on December 14th, seven years ago, saying:

I have suffered from illness all my life. When you become an academician, you should pay attention to poetry, so that you can dabble in other books to dispute your ambitions; When reading a book about sex, it is mixed with poetry and prose to distinguish its trend. I was not very strong when I was in the sixth department, and I focused on business. When leading troops abroad, you can't try your best to monopolize military power, nor can you read and write to confuse your will. Sitting still and getting nothing, it is a water army, and it is better to dig nine wells than springs. I should take it as a warning.

From birth to death, he lived in "walking on thin ice, like an abyss, trembling". Let's read some diaries of his later years:

Eight years of Tongzhi (three years before his death) August 20th:

There are many mistakes and fallacies in thinking about what I have done in my life. If you are in a high position for a long time, moral knowledge is not desirable. Future generations will be full of ridicule and regret.

Tongzhi nine years on March 30th:

Go to bed at four o'clock At the end of the day, the eye disease became more and more serious, and the old man accomplished nothing and was extremely anxious. People are depressed because they are not dead, so they have to be punished painfully to support the rest of their lives.

This is called "decades are like a day".

After repeated tempering, Zeng Guofan's temperament and personality gradually changed. He is becoming more and more persistent in his work. Even in his later military life, he insisted on reading and writing whenever he had time. He is becoming more and more generous, considerate and sincere, and he has more friends every day. His quality is becoming more and more pure, he stands higher and higher and sees farther and farther. After numerous repeated contests, after 46 years old, he was finally satisfied with his perseverance. He concluded:

I didn't do anything until I was forty-six. In the past five years, I think this is a warning. Now everything remains the same.

Liang Qichao praised Zeng Guofan's "loyalty" and said:

In the army, Ceng Wenzheng had to read several pages, fill in several diaries, write an article and play a game of Go every day ... to make a living. Isn't it a trivial matter from the layman's point of view? I don't know that keeping discipline and consistency is the first important thing in life. Those who are good at helping others will do their best here.

After middle age, ordinary people's personality has been fixed, their memory and learning ability have declined, and their enterprising spirit has gradually slackened, thinking that old dogs can't learn new tricks. Zeng Guofan, on the other hand, has been studying and making progress all his life. He wrote to his brother and said:

My brother's writing should not be too self-deprecating, close to giving up on himself. I haven't been in Beijing since I was 43. I have asked myself about official letters, military affairs, official duties, entertainment and calligraphy, and everything has improved. My brother is forty years old, three years younger than when I was a child. He said that he has not improved since then. Is that a lie? Give up on yourself?

In his later years, Zeng Guofan summed up his own life experience and said that a person's life is like a process of fruit ripening. Don't worry and don't slack off. Human efforts and God's cultivation will make a tree grow taller quietly, and it will also make a person mature slowly: "Without help, the flat land will grow taller in thousands of feet."