"Either die or go home and wash. Forget it. "
Beaten in a word, this is her father's "comfort" after the incident.
No one sympathized with her experience, and no one condemned the boy. On the contrary, everyone said it was her fault, including her father, saying that she was an unclean woman.
Because everyone in this village believes in "female virtue".
This woman is called Xiang Sanmei, from the series of forgetfulness novels by forensic doctor Qin Ming.
And Xiang Sanmei's tragic life began at this time.
The deep-rooted concept of "female virtue" made her dare not disobey men. No matter her father or her future husband, she resigned herself to fate and blamed herself for being "impure".
Finally, she found herself suffering from syphilis. This poor woman, instead of blaming her cheating husband, has become a practitioner of unhealthy thoughts and an extreme demon.
In The Forgotten, this case runs through. At the end, when the author Qin Ming solved the case, he quoted a sentence from Li Yinhe:
"At one time, whether women should receive education was decided by men. Later, we all felt ridiculous. "
This is ridiculous.
What is even more ridiculous is that from the founding of the Republic of China to the liberation of China, and from the founding of New China to the present, the slogan of equality between men and women has almost been abolished, but inequality between men and women is still being staged, every day, every second.
Is there no relevant law? Is the relevant department imperfect?
Neither.
However, domestic violence still occurs frequently.
According to the statistics of 20 17 All-China Women's Federation:
30% of married women in China have suffered from domestic violence;
On average, a woman is beaten by her husband every 7.4 seconds;
The number of women who commit suicide due to domestic violence accounts for 60% of the total number of women who commit suicide every year;
Domestic violence accounts for more than 40% of female homicides.
These are the data we see, and more are what we can't see.
Because many women choose silence when they are subjected to violence.
On the one hand, they are in awe of the value of male force and have a strong sense of dependence on men.
On the one hand, these women insist on the concept of "don't wash your dirty linen in public", and are afraid of damaging their reputation, and even more afraid of affecting the people they love.
On the other hand, if a married woman has children, it is even more extravagant.
Therefore, they can only choose to submit to humiliation and accept it, hoping to exchange it for temporary stability.
0 1
Compromise can't buy resignation.
I saw this video on Tik Tok:
A thin girl knelt on the ground with her head down and her face covered with short hair, probably apologizing to her boyfriend. A man stood in front of her, looking at the mobile phone, with a cold face.
What happened next was shocking.
The boyfriend put down his cell phone and kicked the girl's thigh. After kicking the girl down, he kicked the girl a few more times and cursed loudly while kicking.
The girl struggled and screamed, "Please!"
The boyfriend was indifferent and sharply questioned the girl: "Kneel down!"
The girl did not resist or escape, but got up from the ground obediently and knelt on the ground again.
Netizen commented: "Your parents hold you in their hands. Why are you so wronged?"
Yeah, who wasn't raised by parents? Why are you so mean to yourself?
Tu Lei also said in the Battle of Love: "I can love you to the bone, but I can't love you to the bone."
However, women in China are so dependent on men that they forget that they are equal. In a relationship, they tend to pay, to retain with dignity, to lower their bodies again and again, to be wronged for perfection, to be tolerant and generous.
However, people are bullying and afraid of hard work. When there are cracks in feelings, women choose tolerance and forbearance, lowering their posture and bottom line, which is tantamount to showing weakness to men, and will only make men pursue victory and become more and more fierce.
This is similar to a folk proverb:
"The more afraid, the more ghosts come."
Therefore, the more you are afraid, the more you should not shrink back, because your tolerance is not an element of preservation, but a little stronger to ensure your own interests.
02
Stop loss in time is a truth that every woman should have.
Heard such a sentence:
"You dare to commit suicide, why don't you dare to live well?"
You dare to wronged yourself for a long time, why can't you find a way to get rid of it at once?
An aunt in my village gave birth to two daughters after marriage, and the mother and daughter suffered dark circles at her husband's house.
After giving birth to her daughter, she began to work all day until she gave birth.
The two daughters had a long way to go to school, so she had to follow, so she rented a house in the town.
My husband's family has never paid a penny for tuition, room and meals, and has saved a lot of clothes for her every week. There is a mountain of clothes at home, which is obviously intentional.
She endured and endured, year after year, year after year, while her husband kept silent and let her be bullied by her family.
As the saying goes, "clay figurines are also divided into three parts."
Ten years later, my daughter grew up and became independent. She finally made up her mind and divorced in March this year.
There was good news not long ago that she remarried. Today, a family of four lives happily.
Many times, life is a road of no return. You have no room to retreat, but you have a choice to move forward. Like a shepherd's sheepfold, it's better to mend rather than make do with it.
Some time ago, there was a thought-provoking scene in the hit drama Thirty without Nothing.
In the play, Xu Huanshan derailed and rented a house to raise a small forest, and the image of a good man disappeared.
What impressed me the most was the confrontation between Gu Jia and Lin You:
Gu Jia about Xu Huanshan and Lin Youyou meet in the restaurant, facing the mistress in front of them:
"The food you have eaten, your rent, the hotel you have stayed in, these money are the property of our husband and wife, you must pay it back!"
In short, it is so cool that countless female audiences are crazy about it.
When we are crazy, we are also thinking about ourselves. What will happen to us if such a thing happens to us? Will it be as quiet as Gu Jia?
We all know one thing: the water under the bridge.
And many women, after discovering the changes of their boyfriends and husbands, are crazy and unreasonable. What they don't know is that such retention not only makes them lose each other forever, but also loses their final dignity.
As a woman, at this point, we should not be cautious and nervous, pushing everything to the wall.
At this irreversible time, women should have a reason to stop loss in time. Consider your future as much as possible and protect your interests as much as possible.
03
The most trustworthy person is yourself.
I appreciate Nezha's words: "My life is up to me!"
After all, your destiny is your own. What can others do if you don't fight for it?
I once saw a movie called "Finding You". In the film, Ma Yili plays the nanny Sun Fang who is honest, but her husband is selfish.
Not only that, her husband also preferred sons to daughters, and after her daughter was born, she ignored it. After her daughter fell ill, she left her mother and daughter for fear of wasting money and never cared about them again.
Who can Sun Fang rely on at this time? She has no one to rely on.
She's on her own.
In order to save money, the scene of Sun Fang paying for children's treatment and eating leftovers from other people's tables made many people cry.
If it is not forced by life, how can a weak woman actively show her strong side?
Isn't Sun Fang stronger than her selfish husband at this time?
Throughout the ages, many examples have proved to us that women can also be women's heroes, and women can live wonderfully without men.
In the patriarchal feudal society, Mulan can still be her own master, repel invaders for her father and become a national hero; Mu Shangneng's armor is extremely sharp, claiming to be handsome and killing countless enemies, which has become an eternal story.
In modern times, Liu Hulan, who is great in life and glorious in death, and Zhao Yiman, a hero model, appeared.
Modern society is no longer famous for its labor. In the era of big data, women can conquer life and become their own masters, just like live high wants.
Therefore, don't believe in the emergence of "worth entrusting" and don't wait for the arrival of "forced by life". From now on, take the initiative to attack, take the initiative to become stronger, and firmly hold your destiny in your own hands.
Always remember that fate is in your own hands, and charm will bloom in others' eyes.
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