Everyone seems to have their own theory about love. Men may say that love is the art of playing hard to get; women may say that love must be held firmly by the man. These seemingly flawless "words of wisdom" are all intended to tie the other person down so that he or she can never leave you. Some people say that the love of ordinary people seems to be no different from the love in the palace. It is full of fights and intrigues. If you slack off a little, he (she) may leave her (him). For this reason, the gentlest people seem to have to use theoretical weapons to protect their inherent territory. Just like Luo Zijun in "The First Half of My Life", it seems that it was precisely because of her relaxation in love that she lost love.
Why does love become like this? People have been debating this issue for a long time. Some people say that when love reaches a certain stage, the couple gradually changes from sensibility to rationality, and the original passion gradually disappears. In order to regain passion, men and women deliberately find a new partner at their own convenience, so the mistress The role came into being. This theory seems to explain why he (she) cheated, but it cannot fundamentally explain why we lost his (her) love. People who like Gibran may not forget his advice on love: You two must love each other, but do not let love become a shackle; let love become the undulating sea between the shores of your souls. You must fill each other's cups, but do not drink from the same cup. You must bring bread to each other, but do not eat a piece of bread from the same person. Sing, dance, and have fun together, but keep busy.
Love each other, but do not tie each other down; stay with each other, but do not put shackles on the lover; each has his own dreams, each has his own direction, each has his own blueprint for life, This seems to be the best love. Just like Ding Yuanying and Rui Xiaodan in the TV series "Tiandao", although they love each other, they neither try to manipulate love nor manipulate each other; they have their own ideas about life and career, but this does not affect them at all. love between. Of course, in real life, there is no lack of such love. The love between Mr. Qian Zhongshu and Ms. Yang Jiang is envied by many people. From acquaintance to falling in love, from entering the palace of marriage to being dependent on each other and growing old together, on this road of love, they are both husband and wife and mentors. They are busy with their studies and careers, but their love has not Change.
Gibran said, you must be of the same mind, but you must not own each other. In our love culture, mutual understanding and emotional consistency are not enough. It seems that only when it evolves into mutual ties can it be regarded as a vigorous love. The man gives up his studies for the woman, or the woman gives up her career for the man, and takes care of her husband and children at home. The man is too submissive to the woman, or the woman is overly dependent on the man. In this kind of love, each person puts on shackles for the other. This kind of love is unequal and distorted. If this concept becomes the mainstream view of love, then it does not seem to be a particularly strange thing to have disputes and betrayals. There is this sentence in Qian Zhongshu's "The Besieged City": Marriage is a besieged city. People outside the city want to get in, and people in the city want to get out. In fact, not only marriage, but over-attached love is like a solid siege. Those trapped feel suffocated and want to escape; while people outside only see the good things in the city and want to enter, but after they actually enter, they regret it. Out of reach. Is it love itself that is wrong? Perhaps, we have misunderstood love.
Love should not be a besieged city, because a besieged city is closed and closed, just like a tomb. Love should be a road, a couple walks together and goes to a distant place together. Couples traveling together do not need to be bound to each other, nor do they need to be spies in each other's hearts. If he (she) no longer loves her (him), then he/she no longer loves her. No matter how hard you try to stay, it will not help. Keeping someone close to you who no longer loves you will only make both parties more miserable.
The author of this article, Liu Fanyi, authorizes the Rights Protection Knights Value Brand Hall to distribute it