You are a shooting star, you must leave your light to the world

Zhang Haidi’s autobiography

Editor’s note from the Youth Digest Editorial Department

Shandong girl Zhang Haidi When he was five years old, he suffered from spinal hemangioma, resulting in high paraplegia and complete loss of feeling below the chest. However, Zhang Haidi has a disabled body and a strong will. For more than ten years, she has inspired herself with the heroic image of Paul Korchagin, endured unimaginable pain, and fought tenaciously against the disease. With amazing perseverance, she taught herself all the courses in elementary school and middle school, taught herself Japanese, English, German and Esperanto, and translated 160,000 words of foreign language works and materials. In the preliminaries for the college entrance examination in 1981, this person who had never attended The girl who studied in one day actually exceeded the pre-selection score with an excellent score of 436 points. She also taught herself medical knowledge and acupuncture techniques, and enthusiastically helped people relieve their illnesses.

Zhang Haidi is a heroine in the style of Paul Korchagin and a role model for contemporary youth. Her touching deeds shocked people's hearts. Zhang Haidi, with his own words and deeds, correctly answered the life question: What attitude should a young man use towards study, work and life.

The following are excerpts of Zhang Haidi’s conversations and diaries that were scattered in newspapers and periodicals. These simple and unpretentious words shine with the light of ideals and the light of youth. I hope young people can study, work and live like Zhang Haidi.

Since it is a shooting star, it must leave its light to the world and dedicate everything to the people.

I am lower than others because I lost my legs. What a pain! Perish? I am not willing to give in; should I strive for progress? How do I build a Cotai Strip? Yes, first I have to overcome my inferiority complex. I want to think like this: On the journey to the future, you and I are fellow travelers! I want to strengthen my control ability and be stronger!

People are like this, they must have confidence in life before they can continue life forever. And the so-called confidence is hope...

Some people say that happiness is abstract, that is because they have not obtained real happiness. And what he calls happiness is for the narrowest individual. When I say happiness, real happiness is concrete and real, just as the communist warrior Lei Feng said: "I feel that in life, you can only work hard, work hard, create wealth with your own hands, and contribute to the cause of human liberation." ------Contributing everything to communism is the happiest thing."

Some people have lost their faith in communism and believe in Jesus Christ. It is a manifestation of selfishness, because they only seek self-liberation and fill the emptiness in their hearts; and we firmly believe in communism. In the past, countless martyrs sacrificed their lives for the liberation and happiness of the people. This spirit is selfless and communist.

Do you want to be a happy person? I hope you learn to endure hardship first. It is a myth to want to be happy without paying any price.

Helen Keller, a blind and deaf American writer, said, if I could see for three days, what a beautiful sight it would be to observe it with my eyes. However, those with sound eyesight turn a blind eye to this. They take all the colorful and spectacular scenery in the world for granted. How well she spoke! Just like some people who work every day, they take it for granted and do not cherish the power of their work. Being able to do something for society and the people is the greatest happiness for me!

I want to be like Helen said, in the ocean of knowledge, constantly absorb the nutrients that make the tree of life evergreen.

On the road of life, I have also set several role models for myself. They always inspire me. When I encounter difficulties and problems, I draw strength from them. Paul is my role model throughout my life; I often think of Bethune when treating the masses; when I encounter difficulties and problems in study, I often think of Madame Curie; when life is low and gloomy, I often encourage myself to be like Helen Love life like that. They gave me a wealth of spiritual nourishment, which made me, who was unconscious for most of my body, full of energy, confidence, and hope

The brain needs nutrition, not only physiologically it needs blood supply, but also spiritually. It also requires extensive knowledge to nourish. Otherwise, he is still an "imbecile". And if we, the younger generation, don’t work hard, there is a possibility that we will become “imbecile”, that is, they will be parasites who are ignorant and unskilled.

If you have legs, why do you say the road becomes narrower and narrower? Difficulties, from ancient times to the present, who has not encountered them? Think about it, ancient primates, how many difficulties and obstacles they overcame before they paved a broad road for us! I like this line of poetry: "Since ancient times, great talents have suffered many hardships, while dandies have rarely experienced great men." Look through the book and see, which of the sages and philosophers who have become successful have not experienced hardships? Qu Yuan's exile poem "Li Sao", Zuo Qiu's blind biography "Spring and Autumn", Sima Qian's torture writing "Historical Records", Cao Xueqin's family eating porridge to create the immortal "Dream of Red Mansions"... There are more than hundreds or thousands of passionate authors in ancient and modern times, at home and abroad? A large number of facts tell people that the road is getting wider and wider!

On the road of life, everyone will encounter difficulties and setbacks. But it depends on whether you can overcome it. If you overcome, you are a hero and a strong person in life.

As long as my heart is beating, I will study and work hard and fight the disease tenaciously. I believe I am a winner. Use the spark of life to illuminate the journey to the future.

(Youth Digest, Issue 5, first half of 1983)