The relationship between a person's own potential and his ability in study, work and life is not always 1: 1.
Many people often encounter setbacks in their studies and careers, and they always habitually attribute setbacks to their own lack of potential. In fact, even in these people who are often frustrated, there is often a huge potential far beyond ordinary people's imagination-only the owner of this potential does not realize, or realizes, but does not know how to release it.
On the contrary, those who are particularly optimistic and confident can always find the motivation to move forward from themselves, and always try to bring their potential into play and release it beyond the level-that is, from their potential to their ability in study, work and life. This mapping seems to hide a magical "amplification" effect.
When I was in middle school, my physics teacher helped me solve this problem. The physics teacher told me that if we can't realize our great potential or are not good at releasing it, it's like we deliberately put a concave lens in front of our potential, and the image of our potential in the concave lens (that is, our ability to show it) is "narrowed" by the most basic principle of light refraction in physics; On the other hand, if we are good at discovering and releasing our potential, we may break through the limits of our ability and achieve great success that even we can't imagine-this effect is like putting a convex lens in front of our potential.
Speak in front of Bill.
When I first joined Microsoft, I had no problem communicating with my colleagues at work, but I was always afraid to speak in front of Bill Gates because I was very worried about saying the wrong thing.
One day, the company will be reorganized. Bill Gates called a meeting of more than ten people and asked everyone to take turns to speak. I thought at that time, since I had to say it, I might as well say what I was thinking. So, I got up the courage to say, "In our company, the IQ of employees is higher than anyone else, but our efficiency is worse than anyone else, because we reorganize all day, regardless of the feelings and ideas of employees." In other companies, the IQ of employees is additive. But when we are stuck in the "struggle" of reorganization all day, the IQ of employees is actually a subtraction relationship ... "
After I finished, the whole conference room was silent. After the meeting, many colleagues emailed me and said, "You spoke very well. I wish I had the courage to say so. " As a result, Bill Gates not only accepted my suggestion and changed the company's restructuring plan this time, but also quoted what I said at the meeting with the company's vice president, urging everyone to start changing the company's culture and not always fall into the "struggle" of restructuring, which led to the IQ subtraction of the company.
Since then, I am no longer afraid to speak in front of anyone. This incident fully proves the sentence "How do you know you can't do it if you haven't tried it?" .
Praise yourself, starting from the subconscious.
Confidence is a feeling. Self-confidence can not be "learned" by endorsement. You can only improve your self-confidence by "learning". The specific approach is:
"Train" your brain repeatedly with concrete examples. After every subconscious thought, tell yourself that you are trustworthy, you should be proud of yourself, and you must be your best cheerleading team.
Tell yourself once a day: "I'm really fine!" " "Every time you behave well, don't forget to tell yourself," I'm really good! " "Before going to bed every night, think about what happened today: did you get good grades? Have you ever helped others? Is there anything beyond your expectations? Has anyone ever praised himself? Everyone can find one or several successful things every day. Keep at it like this, and slowly you will find that these "small successes" will become more and more meaningful.
In addition to praising yourself in your heart, try to make your words full of confidence, because every word you say will unconsciously affect your subconscious. If a person's words are full of negative and disappointed emotions, then he will certainly feel more and more inferior. Changing the habit of speaking can help you gain enough confidence. So, in the face of difficulties, don't say "I can't do it", but say:
* Up to now, I haven't done it;
* As long as I can ...;
* In order to do this, I will try my best to do it. ...
A classmate asked me, "I am an easily influenced person." I want to be a more confident and thoughtful person, but the people around me make me feel more and more inferior. "
My answer is this: "Eleanor Roosevelt, the wife of American President Roosevelt, said,' No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.' Confidence is a cycle. If you show enough confidence, others will agree with your confidence, and you will become more and more confident. "
There was a female singer who was very nervous when she first performed on stage. Thinking that I am going to play soon, I sweated in front of thousands of audiences: "What if I forget the lyrics nervously on stage?" The more she thought about it, the faster her heart beat, and even she had the idea of backing out.
At this time, an elder came over with a smile, stuffed a paper roll into her hand and whispered, "There are lyrics you want to sing. If you forget the words on the stage, open them and read them. " Holding this note, she hurried onto the stage like a lifeline. Maybe with the paper roll in her hand, her heart will be much more practical. She performed quite well on the stage and was not crazy at all.
She walked off the platform happily and thanked the elder. The elder smiled and said, "You have defeated yourself and regained your confidence. In fact, what I gave you was a blank sheet of paper with no lyrics written on it! " She unfolded the paper roll in her hand, and sure enough, nothing was written on it. To her surprise, holding a blank sheet of paper, she successfully overcame the difficulties and achieved the success of the performance.
"This piece of white paper in your hand is not white paper, it is your confidence!" The elder said.
The singer thanked his predecessors. In her later life, she overcame one difficulty after another with confidence and achieved success again and again.
Seiji Ozawa is a world-famous symphony conductor. In the final of a world-class conductor competition, he played according to the score given by the jury, and keenly found the discordant voice. At first, he thought the band had made a mistake, so he stopped to play again, but it was still wrong. He thinks there is something wrong with music. At this time, the composer present and the authority of the jury insisted that there was absolutely no problem with the score, but he was wrong. Facing a lot of music masters and authorities, he thought over and over again, and finally said firmly and loudly, "No! There must be something wrong with the score! " As soon as his voice fell, the judges on the bench immediately stood up and gave him warm applause to congratulate him on winning the game.
It turns out that this is a "trap" carefully designed by the judges to test whether the conductor can stick to his correct opinion when he finds that the score is wrong and is "denied" by the authoritative department. Although the first two conductors who participated in the final also found mistakes, they were eventually eliminated because they echoed the opinions of authoritative people. However, Seiji Ozawa won the world command contest because of his confidence.
1, many people are not enough to rely on, you have to live on your own. -Napoleon
2. Self-confidence is the first secret of success. Emerson
3. Go deep into your heart and find that all miracles are in yourself. bacon
4. Everyone should have self-esteem, self-confidence and independence, otherwise he is a slave. -Xu Teli
5. Every point on the earth is at the same distance from the sun. Burton
6. Our confidence in ourselves will make others have confidence in us. Laroche Foucault
7. Apart from personality, the biggest loss in life is losing self-confidence. Pershing
8. A confident person can turn smallness into greatness and mediocrity into magic. -Bernard Shaw
9, firm confidence, can achieve ordinary people, amazing career. Ma Erdun
10, Columbus discovered a world, but he didn't use charts. He solved the doubts in the sky with "confidence". -Santayana
1 1, what makes me float in the quagmire of life without getting stuck is my confidence. -Dante
12, in any case, "gossip" doesn't scare me. -Lu Xun
13, since God has given talents, let them find jobs! . -Li Bai
14, those who know others are wise, and those who know themselves are clear. -Lao Dan's "Lao Zi"
15, the spirit of ambitious people should not be underestimated. -Zhuge Liang
16, it is better to rely on others than on yourself. (Shit. )-Pre-Qin "Everything is wrong, and the foreign reserves say the right is lower."
17, self-confidence and pride are different; Confident people are often calm, and proud people are often arrogant. -Liang Qichao
18, I have no outstanding person, but I will never talk to anyone in my life. -Sima Guang
19, self-reliance, self-respect, don't follow others' footsteps, learn from others. -Lu Jiuyuan
20. Confident people don't doubt others, but others also believe in others. He who doubts himself doesn't trust others, and others doubt him. -History?
2 1. Self-confidence is a pillar that can hold up the vast sky of spirit. Self-confidence is a piece of sunshine, which can dispel the shadow in front of being lost.
Everyone should have self-esteem, self-confidence and independence, otherwise he is a slave. -Xu Teli
Our confidence in ourselves will be the bud of others' confidence in us. Laroche Foucault
Apart from personality, the biggest loss in life is losing self-confidence. Pershing
A confident person can turn smallness into greatness and mediocrity into magic. -Bernard Shaw
Firm confidence can make ordinary people do amazing things. Ma Erdun
Columbus discovered a world, but he didn't use charts. He dispelled the doubts and doubts in the sky with "confidence". -Santayana
It is my self-confidence that allows me to float in the quagmire of life without sinking into it. -Dante
Only confident people can immerse themselves in life with confidence everywhere and realize their will. Gorky
I am naturally talented and useful. -Li Bai
Self-confidence and pride are different; Confident people are often calm, and proud people are often arrogant. -Liang Qichao
We should have perseverance, especially self-confidence. Madame Curie: Confident people don't doubt others, but others also believe in themselves. He who doubts himself doesn't trust others, and others doubt him. -"Classic of History"
Only confident people can immerse themselves in life with confidence everywhere and realize their will. Gorky
I doubt the word "pride". Anyone who is a little self-motivated and capable always believes in himself and is a man of his own mind. The more assertive people are, the more confident they are. This is not bad. A little proud. If he is put in the right position, he will be modest, otherwise he will not get along. Deng Xiaoping.